


Kisses and Alcohol

by domeafav0ur



Category: Alex Turner - Fandom, Arctic Monkeys, Last Shadow Puppets, Milex - Fandom
Genre: A lot of cursing, Arctic Monkeys - Freeform, Cheating, Dirty Stuff, F/M, Fluff, Original Character - Freeform, Skinny Dipping, Smut, a lot of typos probably, alex turner - Freeform, arielle is briefly in there, idk what other tag applies to this, last shadow puppets - Freeform, lots of cigarette smoking, miles kane - Freeform, some band members are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2015-06-03
Packaged: 2018-03-31 06:30:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 47,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3967951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/domeafav0ur/pseuds/domeafav0ur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The ups and downs of Shayley and Alex Turner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Bar

**Author's Note:**

> So this story was born on tumblr's Alex Band Guy Thirst blog but I decided to post in on here as well cause, why not?

My band had been invited to an award show in New York City because we had been nominated for best up and coming band. I didn’t expect to win, and just as predicted, we didn’t win. We got beaten out by some shitty ass pop band but of course, what can you expect when the award show is manly about mainstream music.

Luckily, our record company had booked us a luxurious, high end hotel in the very heart of NY and while the boys in my band went out to get drunk and laid at bars down the street, I decided to stay at the hotel and go to the very exclusive bar on the first floor and drink myself to oblivion. 

There were a handful of businessmen sitting at small round tales with their laptops and legal pads, in their Gucci suits, and Rolex watches while I sat on a high stool at the bar in black jeans and a band shirt, with my hair laying limply against my shoulders, drooping a little past my collarbones.

I watched the bartender who couldn’t have been older than twenty-five, she looked more my age, but she looked like she knew a lot about the world for some reason. I couldn’t help but feel a little intimidated by how pretty she was with her blonde hair and green eyes. She definitely put me to shame without a doubt.

“So you’re here for an award show?” She asked, picking up the conversation we had begun a few minutes ago. 

I nodded, “Yeah, but we didn’t win.” I answered, watching her pour some vodka in to my shot glass at my request. “Kind of why I’m trying to get drunk.”

I took the shot like a champ and cringed, sipping on the martini i had been avoiding because I felt it wasn’t strong enough.

“Aw, I’m sorry to hear. Where is the rest of your band?” I appreciated her talking to me and making me feel like less of a lameass for getting drunk by myself.

“They went out to the bars, like out there.” I said pointing toward the door. Oh, god. The alcohol was getting to me.

“I hope your night gets better." 

I lifted my martini glass and smiled, “Can’t go anywhere but up” as I drank the whole thing in a flash and asked for another.

I felt someone sit in the stool next to me and order some whiskey with a very heavy accent, and my drunken curiosity got the best of me as I glanced toward this stranger.

He was wearing dark blue tight jeans, pointed black boots, a black shirt underneath his worn leather jacket. The one thing that stuck out the most was how his hair was styled. He had this whole 50’s look going on with a quiff that probably looked better at earlier hours of the day, right now his hair just kinda hung on his forehead, brushing the bridge of his nose slightly.

I brought my attention back to my refilled martini and my mind focused on the song that was playing and I couldn’t help but sing a long to a song I loved when I was a teenager.

"Like that song?” The stranger next to me asked, once again, that accent got my attention. 

I looked over at him and nodded. “Don’t you?”

He shrugged, “I’ve played it too much, I reckon.”

Yeah, overplaying ruins really good songs. I would know, it’s happened to me with a few bands.

“It’s got such a good beat, and not to mention I really love the vocals.” I said.

“Yeah? Ever seen them live?” He asked, with a little smirk playing on his lips.

I shook my head, “Nope, I wish.”

He looked over at the bartender, “Can I ‘ave a smoke in ‘ere?”

She nodded, “Yeah, of course. I’m going to go get some more glasses and I’ll be right back.”

We both nodded as she walked in to the back area of the bar to get her supplies.  
The stranger pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit up quickly.

“Want one?” He asked as I watched him inhale and god, he managed to look so attractive whole doing it. 

“No, thanks." 

He put the pack and lighter back in his jacket pocket and shrugged, “Suit yerself.”

For some reason, I just couldn’t stop looking at him. He looked familiar but unfamiliar at the same time. He just looked like someone who could do you no good.

"What?” He eyed me with his brown eyes.

I shook my head, “Sorry, I’m a little drunk so I tend to stare.” I apologized.

He smiled a very crooked but adorable smile, “Are you from ‘ere?”

“No, I’m from Texas. I was just here for an award show.” I stopped and elaborated just a tiny bit. “I’m in a band.”

He raised an eyebrow, “Are you? What band?”

“Uh, we’re called Kill the Elite. We’re like, on the heavier side.” I said, hating how I could never explain things the way I wanted.

“What do you play?”

“I’m the singer.” I answered but it came out more like a question. Anytime I told someone I was the vocalist in a band they immediately laughed and brushed me off.

But he didn’t, he looked very interested in what I was saying. “Why sound so unsure? It’s rad that you’re in a band. The music world needs pretty girls with talent like you.” His accent and deep voice could make anyone melt.

“Are you from the UK?” I basically blurted as the bartender walked in to the room again with a bunch of glasses.

The stranger looked at her and asked for two drinks, one for me and one for him and who was I to oppose to free drinks? Besides, wasn’t getting drunk the point of being here?

“What gave it away?” He laughed. “I’m from Sheffield. I’m long ways from home.”  
The girl put the drinks in front of us as I thanked him for it.

“Well, why are you here?”

“Oh, well I kind of live ‘ere on and off. I ‘ad an interview today with a radio station, so there’s that.” He explained.

I blinked a few times; studying his face trying to figure out if the person I was talking to was famous.

“Are you famous?” I squinted my eyes at him. Not only cause I suspected he was someone but because my eyes suddenly felt as tired as my body did. But it might have been the alcohol.

He had this smirk while he looked at me like I was the most adorable thing in the room. “Are you?”

I shook my head, “No.”

“Then, neither am I.”

“You’re lying! You look famous.” I almost shouted.

“Do I?”

I nodded.

“I’m in a band, too.” He finally responded.

I made sure to look at his face, trying to figure out who the fuck he was and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. 

My mouth hung open but I covered it with my hand in embarrassment.  
I felt my cheeks start to burn and I felt like such a dumbass for not noticing it before. I knew who he was but I had no idea what his name was. I never got that far in to the band.

“You overplayed the song because you wrote it, huh?” I asked and covered my face in my hands.

Oh god, I was stupid.

He gently pried my hands off my face and chuckled. “You caught me.” 

I looked over at the bartender and asked for a double shot. After that, I needed it.  
We talked the rest of the time the bar was open and when it was time to close down, we stumbled out in to the quiet hallway.

And when I say ‘we’ were stumbling, I mean him. He had over drank to the point of not even being able to stand on his own without falling over. I figured I’d be a good person and walk him to his room to make sure I didn’t find him dead somewhere the next day.

“I hope you remember where your room is.” I said, holding on to him by his torso, walking to the elevator. It sure was hard to try to keep a much taller, heavier guy from falling when you’re drunk yourself. 

I pressed the button for the elevator as he lost his balance and I had to catch him so he wouldn’t fall on the ground. It’d be way harder to pick him up when he’s knocked out, I figured. 

The elevator opened and we walked in, resting him against the wall so I could press the floor button.

“Okay,” I paused realizing I didn’t know his name. “What’s your name?”

“Erm, Alex.” He slurred.

“Okay, Alex. What floor?” I asked.

“Uh, ten.” He said, grabbing his head, then rubbing his eyes.

I pressed the button as the door closed and I went to stand next to him. 

He looked at me through squinted eyes and asked, “What’s your name?”

“Shayley.” I answered, looking back at him and for some reason I wanted to grab his face and kiss those pouty lips of his.

“Shayleh.” He repeated over and over until I wasn’t sure what he was saying anymore but with every time he said my name he got closer and closer and it was as if he read my mind.

My heart began to beat at a crazy speed with every breath of his that tickled my face.  
He gently grabbed my chin, whispered my name, and pressing his drunken lips to mine.

I had to stand on my toes to reach him but by doing that I lost my balance and began to stumble back but he pressed his hand on my lower back and pulled me in in to him, getting up against the elevator wall so we wouldn’t be falling anywhere,  
His lips felt incredibly soft and warm as his tongue played tug-o-war with mine for dominance. He had the most delightful taste of cigarettes and whiskey and I couldn’t help but love it.

My hands reached up and tangled in his dark hair as his grabbed on to my waist, kissing me to insanity.

For two drunk ass people, we sure had good coordination when it came to this sort of thing.

We made out for what seemed like forever but was only a few seconds till we got to his floor, but just a few seconds left us completely breathless. 

We pulled away, gasping for air as he licked his lips and gave me a small kiss before leading me out of the elevator with a little more coordination than before.

We got to the door of his suite as he pulled the key card out of his pocket and attempted to insert it in to the key slot but failed miserably. I grabbed it from his hands and was able to get it in and open the door for him, as I grabbed him and pulled him in. 

I lay the keycard down on his counter as he stumbled in to another complaining about his head. “Me ‘ead is killing me.”

“Um, you have some Advil right here, do you want some?” I asked, yelling a little cause I had no idea where he’d gone.

“Please.” He answered from the other room as I opened the bottle, dumped two little blue pills in my hand and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge.

I went in to the room he’d walked in to and saw him sitting on the bed, taking his boots off as I walked to him and handed him the pills and water. 

He quickly took them and smiled, “Thank you, kitten.”

He then smiled a completely different kind of smile when he pulled me in to his lap and said, “Where were we?”

“I thought you had a killer headache?” I reminded him, raising an eyebrow. 

He smirked, “It’s nothing your kisses can’t fix.” He ran a finger lightly over my cheek.

I slammed my lips to his with as much passion as we had in the elevator and couldn’t believe this was happening with someone I’d met three hours ago.


	2. Sex Sent Me to the ER

Alex and I had begun the late night festivities by fooling around on his bed and even though I was very, very, VERY opposed to sleeping around with people I’d just met, this wasn’t just anyone. He had a sort of hold on me and I couldn’t pin point exactly what it was that made me extremely comfortable around him.

All the kissing and groping had led to me being shirtless and him wanting to remove my jeans. He unbuttoned my jeans and began to pull them down when he started having difficulties moving them past my knees. 

“Fuck, these are tight, love.” He chuckled as his fingers grabbed the bottom part of the jeans and finally pulled so hard that he almost flew back off the bed.

I covered my mouth to keep myself from laughing but I just couldn’t help it. That was a hilarious moment.

He regained his posture and threw my jeans on the floor, then stared at me with wickedness in his eyes. “Think that’s funny, do ya?”

I shook my head, still laughing my ass off. 

“You think me almost dying is funny?” He tried to say with a straight face and firm tone but his lips curled in to a smile he kept trying to hide.

He crawled on top of me, supporting himself with his arms on either side of me. His eyes had so many things lingering them as he watched me. “D’you want to play that game?”

He very gently kissed me and I jumped at the sudden warmth of his hand between my legs.

I pulled away, breathing sharply.

“Still think it was funny?” He asked, his fingers delicately moving under the fabric of my panties and rubbing in all the right ways.

A very, very soft moan left my lips as I shook my head.

He leaned down and whispered in my ear, “I love your laugh but I would much rather hear you moan for me right now.”

He swiftly pulled my panties down as I began to undress him as quick as I could. Jesus fucking Christ, I wanted this so bad.

Once he was completely nude, he reached in to the bedside drawer and pulled out a condom, then attaching his lips to mine.

“We forgot your bra, love.” He whispered, sending chills through out my body in the most amazing way. He reached around my back, and quickly unhooked it, then throwing across the room.

He pulled back and examined my body, and I’ve never felt more self-conscious in my whole life. But he smiled and nodded.

“Fuck” He said, the thick accent coming out more heavily. 

He strapped his condom on and pushed in to me, very, very slowly.

He very gently pressed his forehead on my shoulder, tickling me with his shaky breathing while still thrusting in to me painfully slow. Just the feeling of him filling me up was enough to send me over the edge.

“Fuck, Alex” I moaned, digging my fingers in to his hair as began to go much faster.

“You feel amazing” He said giving me a kiss.

We had moved so much through out the whole thing that we had ended up sideway on the bed with my head slightly hanging off it as he thrust in to me quickly.

Every push caused me to slide a little more and more off until we finally fell off the bed and on to the floor.

“Ow” I whined as I hit the ground with a very loud thump with him falling on me and regaining his stance, fucking me hard.

He laughed as soon as we hit the ground which caused me to began cracking up.  
“Fuck,” I moaned, “We are bad luck”

The floor was not only uncomfortable, but fucking cold. 

He kissed me had but he still had that smile on his face. “The way this is going, we might end up in the hospital.”

“I think,” I moaned as he hit a very good spot. “Fuck, there’s a show about that.”

“Is there?” He asked, confusion on his face. And I couldn’t tell if he was baffled by the fact that there was a tv show about that or the fact that I mentioned that while we’re having sex.

His lips attacked mine as I spoke between kisses and moans, “Mhm, um” I couldn’t even speak right between his thrusting. 

“Tell me about it.” He said, a smirk playing on his lips.

“Uh,” I grabbed his face, kissing him and biting down on his lip, wanting to keep myself from moaning because I knew that’s what he wanted. “It’s about um,” I stopped again as he sped up. “Couples that go to the ER”

Fuck, fuck. He felt so good.

“Go on, love.” He encouraged. “They go to the ER and?”

“And, fuck, Alex” I dug my nails in to his shoulders, as he began to push me over the edge. “They get injured during sex” I finally was able to finish my sentence.  
He began to slowly suck on my neck, biting down and smiling at all the moaning he was making me do.

“Fuck, you are perfect.” He groaned as he finally made my body explode in the most amazing pleasure waves.

“Oh god.” I breathed as he sped up and soon finished.

He got off me and discarded the condom, lying next to me on the cold ass fucking floor.

As we lay there catching our breaths, I figured I’d get going before I became a bother to him. But before I could even act on it he turned to me with his messy hair and flushed cheeks and said the most unexpected thing.

“Are you hungry? I have the worst craving for pizza.” He said with the most serious face. 

“Is that what you want?” I asked.

“Yes.”

I smiled and shrugged, “I don’t know, it’s like four in the morning. I don’t think any pizza places are open right now.” I broke the bad news to him.

“Darling, I’m Alex Turner. I can get anything I want, when I want it.” He spoke through a very cocky smirk.

I looked up at the ceiling and licked my very sore lips. “Oh, if you say so” I mumbled.  
He crawled back on top of me, “D’you wanna bet?” 

He pressed his forehead to mine, our noses touching, his breath tickling my lips. His eyes held my mine. It was almost like a challenge he wanted to beat me at. If I looked away, I’d lose but I looked at him with as much intensity as he did me.

I bit my lip and nodded, “Prove me wrong.”

He smiled and raised an eyebrow, “But when I do, you’ll owe me.”

He kissed me with so much intensity that I felt like I was going to faint.

“What’s wrong, love? Not up for round two?” He whispered, kissing my neck, up to my jaw, then to my lips again. 

“First, find your pizza.”


	3. Eleven Hours

I could feel someone kissing all around my face but I was so exhausted, I struggled to open my eyes for a least a good ten seconds. But when I did, I was stunned to see a very cute guy next to me, that I thought I’d only seen in my dreams.

Holy shit. Last night actually happened.

I fucked Alex Turner.

Who was I? When the hell?

I rolled on to my side, facing him and reaching up to rub my eyes.

When I fully opened my eyes, I realized he was very close to me, smiling.

“I was wondering how many kisses it would take to wake you,” He began as a smile formed on my lips. “It took six.”

I let out a sleepy laugh as I pulled the covers up to my face, pressing my face in to the sheets, trying to discretely hide how awful I probably looked right now. 

He pulled the sheets away from my face as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in to his warm chest, while giving me forehead kisses.

While it felt amazing to be in his arms, the headache from last nights drinking was starting to kick in and I was not all happy about it.

“Ow” I quietly whined, not actually meaning to say it out loud.

“What’s wrong, love?” He asked, placing his index finger under my chin, tilting my head up to him.

“I have a headache.” I answered.

He kissed my forehead over and over again as if that would take it away and if I tricked myself in to believing that, it might have.

He slowly got out of bed and walked out of the room as I buried my face in to the pillow. Beside the awful headache I had, I felt so sore. Alex had fucked me up, literally. He had actually found someone to deliver him a pizza at four in the morning and when it came, I had to pay up and we ended up having sex in the kitchen, and then again in the bedroom.

I was exhausted. I needed at least three days of rest.

“‘ere, love” I heard him quietly say as I slowly looked up and saw him holding those familiar capsules I had given him last night.

I sat up and took them with a bit of water, then placed the water bottle on the night table. 

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, “Okay, I’m going to get going.”

“What?” He almost yelled, sitting next to me and holding my hand, “No, stay. We can have room service bring us breakfast or summat,” He tried to convince me with those big chocolate colored eyes.

“I don’t want to over stay my welcome, you know?”

“I want you to stay, darling. I like your company.”

I couldn’t help but look like an idiot, smiling so big. “Okay.”

He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek and then stood, going to the window and pulling the curtains open.

I guess I made a noise, because he turned back at me and closed the curtains, as I noticed my eyes were squinting and my head began pounding again. 

“We’ll keep these closed for a while” He smiled.

“No, it’s okay. You can keep them open.” I tried to reassure him, but his mind was made up.

“‘s’alright, kitten.We ‘ave lamps with far less light.” He said, going to another room and then quickly returning with the room service menu in his hand.

He turned the lamp on in the far end of the room, giving us enough light that wouldn’t kill me completely. 

And I couldn’t help but watch his movements and how handsome he looked in a black t-shirt, and some boxer briefs. 

He crawled back in to bed and sat closely to me, putting the menu between us so I could take a look at it too.

“Well, then. What’ll we be ‘avin’?" 

I looked and looked but everything seemed awfully expensive for how basic it was. I legit thought of telling him that we could probably make a breakfast that was the exact same thing on the menu for fucking free. But that might have been rude, so I continued to skim the menu, feeling awfully nervous.

I shrugged, “Uh, whatever you get.”

He straightened up a bit, “I were going to order the biggest burger on the menu, is that okay with you?”

My eyes widened as I shook my head. 

"I figured, so pick whatever you want.” He chuckled.

I looked over then menu and finally decided on a grilled cheese sandwich and some hash browns, because it was the only thing that was less than twenty dollars.  
“Coffee?” He asked, as he reached for the telephone.

“Yes, please.” I answered, getting out of bed realizing I was only wearing one of his shirts and my underwear. I told him I was going to the bathroom while he ordered and I’d be back.

I walked in to the ridiculously luxurious bathroom and did my business all while looking around at how pretty and well decorated everything was. 

I looked in the mirror and jesus, I looked awful. My makeup was non-existent but my mascara was everywhere, my hair was wavy in some places and straight in others, I had a few bruises on my arm (I’m assuming from the kitchen sex) and a hickey on the crook of my neck.

I sighed, loudly and washed my face with some soap and rinsed my mouth with some mouthwash he had, all while making sure I didn’t get anything dirty.

My face was clean but my hair was hopeless so I decided it was time to walk back in to the bedroom.

When I walked in, he sat on the bed with a cigarette between his long fingers and his cell phone in the other, lost in whatever he was looking at.

He was flawless.

I went to my side of the bed and sat next to him, covering my legs with the sheets.  
“Food should be ‘ere in just a bit.” He informed me, locking his phone and throwing it near the foot of the bed, and finishing his cigarette.

He reached for my hand, tracing light lines with his fingers as he asked, “How long are you in town for?”

“Till tomorrow morning" 

He pouted, holding my hand in his. “You can’t possibly be leaving so soon.”

"Home is calling” I said, quietly. “Do you live here?”

“For the most part. I’ll be here for another two weeks, then I fly back home for an award show and I’m not sure what’s after that." 

I nodded, and before I could say anything, he cut me off.

"D’you get a lot of comments on your hair?”

“No, here in the states there are weirder colors than red.” I laughed.

“You stood so far out to me last night”

I laughed again, “I was the only girl there, beside the bartender.”

“Yes, but you caught my attention. YOU.” He pointed at me. “And ‘ere we are now. About to ‘ave a grand breakfast and such.” He flashed me his gorgeous crooked grin.

All of this seemed a little too good to be true. Like, how the hell had I spent the night with Alex Turner and now I’m basically hanging out with him like it’s no big deal and he’s buying me food. Did he do this for every girl he fucked? 

My expectations for when I walked out of this suite weren’t too high. I was going to leave and only talk about the memory of sleeping with this huge rock star.

“We’ve known each other for…” I counted on my fingers as he watched me with that fucking smile. “Eleven hours. Thats almost twelve hours, Turner.”

“Prob’ly the best eleven hours of my life, honestly." 

And he appeared very sincere but I refused to believe he had developed some sort of emotion toward me in eleven hours.

Who does that?

He finished his cigarette and smashed it on the ashtray on the night stand, just in time for there to be a knock on the door.

"Ah! That’s prob’ly our food.” He jumped up and was about to walk out the door, when he walked back and over to me.

He held my face in his hands, “Stay ‘ere. I’ll be right back.” 

He leaned down and gave a deep, deep kiss that tasted of Listerine and cigarettes and I didn’t want him to ever pull away. 

Sadly, he had to back away at some point and when he did, it left me completely breathless.

He grinned at me and walked out of the room, knowing just what he did to me.


	4. Stalker Turner

I was trying to get all of my stuff together, throwing it quickly in to different bags since I was running late to the airport and I hadn’t gotten a chance to pack the night before because I was too exhausted to move so, after I got back to my room, I knocked out for a well deserved night of sleep.

“Shayley, I swear to god. Let’s fucking go!” I heard my very annoying brother, Dylan, who also happens to be my bands drummer, yell from the door.

“Can you give me like five fucking minutes? Jesus!” I shouted, taking a deep breath before I committed a crime against him. 

I began to stuff my clothing in to the last case, going as fast as my cramped up hands could go.

He walked in to the room, allowing the door to close behind him as he sat on the edge of the bed next to my suitcase.

“So, where were you?” He asked.

Damn it, I knew he’d ask.

“When?” I played dumb.

“Yesterday. You were MIA all day.” He pressed on, running his hands through his very loose brown hair.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” I muttered as i zipped up my suitcase and slipping it off the bed and to the floor.

Who in their right mind would believe that I had sex, and then spent the rest of my day hanging out with Alex Turner? I sure as fuck wouldn’t believe that.

And if I told anyone, they’d probably think I was trying to fame climb, which of course I wasn’t.

It just was what it was.

A good fuck.

“Try me.” Dylan egged on.

I stopped stuffing my other bag and glared at him. “Fine, but don’t be giving me shit about it being fake.”

He raised his hands, “I won’t say anything.”

I knew better than to believe him but I kinda felt like I needed to tell someone. But I wouldn’t tell him we’d fucked, that would be far too awkward.

“You know the day of the award show?”

He nodded, intrigued.

“While you guys went to the bars, I went to the hotel bar, got shit faced, and met Alex Turner from the Arctic Monkeys.”

I could see Dylan’s face twisting in to wanting to call bullshit. 

“Okaaaaaaay,” He began, “But that doesn’t explain why you were missing for a whole fucking day.”

“You didn’t let me finish.” I sassed him.

“Go on.”

“So, basically, I was with Alex that whole night and the next day.”

“But you were drunk. How do you know that wasn’t an Alex look a like?” He asked, skeptical and pissing me the fuck off.

I closed my last bag and rolled my eyes. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you.”

I grabbed my suitcases and began rolling them to the door, turning and making sure I wasn’t leaving anything.

“Damn it, Shayley. You do realize how fucking farfetched that sounds, right?” Dylan said as he followed me to the elevator.

I was about to turn to him but he cut me off. “Fuck! I forgot my phone in my room. I’ll catch you downstairs.” He said, quickly disappearing as I got in to the elevator and pressed the button with fancy font for the first floor.

I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes as the elevator began to descend. I was so glad to be on my way home, finally. I missed my bed and my house and the Texas warmth, just before the cool weather kicked in.

The elevator dinged me out of my thoughts and the doors opened, as I walked out through the lobby and outside to where the rest of my band was already waiting in the taxi.

I loaded my stuff and closed the trunk of the car when I heard someone calling my name.

The accent alone got a jump out of me.

I turned and saw Alex running toward me, in his all black attire, leather jacket and all. His hair in a quiff that fell perfectly on his forehead.

He stopped a few feet short of me and shoved his hands in to his jacket pockets.

“Hey.” I said with a confused smile.

“Hi, I ‘ad to catch you before you left.” He said, sounding very out of breath.

“Are you stalking me?” I joked.

“Well, I did ask the ‘otel staff to let me know when you were leaving.” He shyly said, his tone getting lower and lower with every word in embarrassment.

“You did not!” I yelled completely bewildered by the fact that he would do that.

He nodded. “I did, actually. I asked them to phone me when the pretty girl with the red hair walked out those doors.”

I turned away for a moment, attempting to hide my smile.

His hand reached out and gently grabbed my face, turning me back to him. “You’re blushing.”

I laughed and awkwardly pulled away, shaking my head. “No, no. That’s all makeup.” 

I lied.  
He held my face again, this time between his two hands, caressing my cheeks with his thumbs.

The way he was looking at me made my heard jump, and my stomach turn in the best way.

His rough thumbs brushing gently against my skin as I asked, “Alex, what’s this about?”

He sighed, dropped his hands and for once since I met him, he seemed to be at a loss for words.

“I just…” he stopped, looking around as if he were fishing for imaginary words only he could see. “I want to see you again.”

“Seriously?” I asked in a tone that came out much harsher than I had anticipated.

“Why’d you ask like that?” He asked, appearing a bit hurt.

I reached up and placed my hand on his velvety smooth cheek, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

He placed his hand over mine that was on his face, “Well, I want to see you. I do.”

I guess I still had the look of skepticism on my face because he grabbed my hand and dropped it, but still holding it in his as he tilted his head to the side.

“Love, at least give me your number, yes?”

I nodded as he handed me his phone so I could put my number in it.

I quickly typed in my digits and handed him the phone back.

“I’ll phone you.” He very quietly said, with a small smile on his perfect lips.

“Oka-"I responded in to his lips as he kissed me, smiling at the fact that I didn’t finish.

He pulled me in to a hug, and I could feel his erratic heartbeat through his shirt, his arms flexing and holding me as tight as he could, as if he didn’t want to let go.

"Be safe.”

I closed my eyes and breathed in his scent for the last time as he pulled back and gently kissed my forehead.

“Goodbye, lovely.” He whispered and disappeared back in to the hotel as I stood there in complete shock that, that had just happened.

I had watched him disappear as my body screamed for him. All of my senses seemed heightened when he was around me and I was going to miss him though we’d known each other for two days.

“There is no fucking way that just happened.” I heard my brother say from the taxi. I hadn’t even noticed he walked out.

The rest of the guys were watching me in disbelief and suddenly I felt horribly embarrassed.

They had seen that.

UGH.

“How?” Brad, my guitarist asked, wide eyed as I got in to the taxi van as we began our trek back to the airport.

I shrugged off their questions, and tried to keep my face stone still so I didn’t look like a total dumbass.

“Fuck, I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.” Dylan whispered to me as I rested my head on his shoulder, not saying anything.

I felt my phone vibrate in my hands and a text from an unknown number was displayed on my screen.

Hey, love. Call me when you’re home.


	5. Airport Nerves

As much as I tried to not think of Alex it just wasn’t working. No matter how hard I tried, just the thought of him made me blush and it was driving absolutely insane.  
But, I guess maybe it was a good insane.

He wasn’t making it any fucking better, either. It had been well over a month since I last saw him in New York but we were in constant contact, whether it was phone calls, text messages, or FaceTime on our phone. Just anything that could get us talking to each other worked and it had sort of led to a friendship. We talked about absolutely everything and anything and it still baffled me how a drunken one-night stand led to this.

In all honesty, I gave him a two-day frame of him trying to contact me before disappearing in to his world and having me be another notch in his bedpost, but I was wrong. The guy was persistent.

Every time we chatted, he told me how he wanted to see me again and how he wanted to come down to Texas and visit for a while, but he had such a busy schedule that I figured it would be quite a long time till I saw him again. But Alex wasn’t one to wait around; he found some time and booked his flight to come stay with me for a while.

I’m not going to lie; I was nervous and ecstatic all at the same time.

I’d been counting down the days and it was finally here. Since the moment I woke up I was anxious to see him and pick him up from the airport. I occupied my time by spending most of my day at the studio, recording vocals for the album my band was working on but even then, I couldn’t concentrate on anything. 

Once I’d finished laying down the last bit of vocals on a song, I looked over at the rest of my band and said, “I have to get Alex from the airport so, like, are you going to need me?”

“Well, if you could-” Dylan began, only to have me interrupt him.

“I’m already late!” I pouted.

Tyler laughed and looked at my brother. “Let her go get her boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” I corrected, and looked down at my phone for the time. I had about thirty minutes to get to the airport on time, and crossing my fingers that there wasn’t traffic. 

“Go.” My brother finally said, rolling his eyes at me.

I squeaked and did a little jump, and rushed out of the studio to the parking lot to find my car.

Everything seemed to be going as planned until I got on the highway and three minutes later was stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic. I cursed under my breath and accepted the fact that I was going to be late and give Alex a terrible impression on my punctuality.

I kept glancing at the time and tapping my thumbs against my steering wheel, trying to somehow make the time go by slower. But the more I thought about being near him again, I couldn’t help but wonder if it would still feel the same. Would we still have that same vibe we had in New York? The vibe that felt dangerous and amazing at the same time. I hoped it would.

I finally snapped out of my thoughts as the traffic began to move again. I was being that really annoying driver, constantly switching lanes until I made it to the exit and sped my way to the airport with ease.

I found a parking spot in the parking garage and sprinted inside of the building, slowing down before someone saw me as a terrorist because I was running.  
I made my way to the gate where I knew he’d be coming out from and waited. I looked around and made eye contact with a few people who waited for their loved ones along with me. Some smiled at me while other stared and I quickly ignored those judgmental fucks.

I ran my fingers through my freshly dyed red hair and took a deep breath, wondering if I looked okay. I hadn’t even stopped to look in a mirror so I used my cellphones reflection to check my makeup. Because I totally didn’t spend the longest time picking out an outfit cute enough just for this occasion. 

I moved my phone down and there he was just a few feet away from me in all his black leather clad glory with a smile on his face.

I was never one for dramatics, but the first thing I did was run and jump in to his arms, him catching me like this shit was synchronized. 

My legs wrapped around his waist as his arms held me up, in to a very tight hug. His scent was better than I recalled. It intoxicated me in to bliss to no end.

“I was ‘opin you’d jump in me arms.” He whispered in to my ear, giving my temple a very light kiss.

He finally set me down and gave me a proper hug and it felt like my heart was going to beat itself out of my chest. 

He pulled back just a bit and pressed his forehead to mine, “Breathe, love.”  
I nodded and took a deep breath, as he smiled at me one of those genuine smiles. He almost looked like an overly excited child, as his eyes squinted from all the smiling.  
“i’ve missed you.” He said, quietly.

I tiptoed to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek, grabbing his hand, “Let’s go get your bags and blow this Popsicle stand.”

We fished his bags and guitar case from baggage claim and made our way to the car hand in hand like a very happy couple, but we weren’t exactly a couple. I’m not sure what category we fell under.

I opened the trunk to my car and helped him load his stuff, while I put his guitar case in the backseat, careful to not hit it on anything. 

I felt Alex’s hands on my waist, pulling me out and away from the car, shutting the door and pushing me up against it. 

“I ‘ope you know you’re about to get the best kiss of your life.” He smirked as he slowly connected his lips with mine, while I wrapped my arms around his neck, leaning in closer until I was on my toes and the kiss had gotten so intense that he had to pull away for air.

“Oh, we’ve still got it.” He said.

“Got what?” I asked, confused by his comment, and wishing the feeling in my stomach would stop before I started blushing.

“On the flight over I kept thinking on how it would feel to be around you again and it’s still like that first night. Your lips still give me that same feeling.” He explained, while caressing my cheek with his rough thumb.

I quietly laughed and nodded, falling in to his chest, amazed how we’d been thinking the exact same thing.

“I’m very surprised we ‘aven’t ‘ad any accidents like last time, really.” He said with a chuckle as I pulled back and playfully hit him on the arm.

“I hope to keep it that way, Turner. You’re bad luck.” I grinned as we got in to the car and drove home, with much less traffic this time.

The drive back was full of laughs and catching up on things we hadn’t talked about on the phone, perhaps because we’d forgotten or they were really recent so we chatted about a number of different things. But I couldn’t ignore how there was a tension in the air that could only be relieved through sweaty and aggressive body-to-body contact.

And with every smile and laugh if his, my body ached for him more and more. Jesus, all he had to do was sit next to me and I was basically his.

We finally made it to my apartment and I showed him around so he knew where everything was, and then led him to the bedroom so he could get situated for his stay.  
I sat on the edge of my bed and hunched over, taking my shoes off and kicking them off next to the nightstand. I sighed and realized how exhausted I actually was, since I’d been up early and the nerves hadn’t exactly allowed me decent sleep the night before.

Suddenly, I felt a warmth as I felt myself being tackled on to the bed. A cheeky Alex supported himself above me, grinning from ear to ear. 

“Hello, again." 

"Hi.” I almost whispered, reaching out and gently stroking his cheek. He slowly closed his eyes and leaned in to my touch with a face full of bliss.

“Kiss me.” I said, snapping him out of his trance, and leaning in to him as his lips made me his.

I couldn’t help but bury my fingers in to that amazing nest of thick slightly gelled hair while his mouth worked wonders on my neck.

“You are absolutely gorgeous.” He breathed as I rolled my eyes, grabbing him by the hair and slamming his mouth in to mine with force.

“Shut up.” I said in to his mouth and that got a groan out of him.

“Mm, babeh." 

I pushed him off me and straddled his hips, studying the man under me and loving how weak and vulnerable he seemed with his dark eyes full of lust, his pink pouty lips slightly parted from our intense kiss, hair messy with no hope for it looking like it did earlier.

His breath hitched as I laced my fingers with his, pinning his hands above his head.  
"Shayleh-”

I silenced him by pressing gentle kisses on to his jaw, slowly moving down to his neck, lightly nipping at the skin, searching for that spot that would make him weak and it didn’t take long until I heard a breathy moan come from his throat.

I could feel him weakening beneath me but hardening in those tight jeans of his and god I just wanted him on top of me, fucking me senseless. 

His fingers found the hem of my shirt, pulling it up and over my head, quickly regaining his throne on top of me.

He sat back and found the button to my jeans, sliding them down, along with my panties, with much more ease than the previous time and he wasted no time in ridding me of my bra.

How the hell did he always get me naked while he was completely clothed?

“Aleeeeeex.” I whined as he smirked, knowing exactly what I was going to say.

“What? Is this a tad unfair?” He asked with a smirk.

I nodded, reaching for his leather jacket and throwing it across the room, his shirt following suit.

“‘appy?”

I shook my head. “All of it.”

I grabbed his belt buckle, slowly undoing it as he watched my fingers work and lightly touch the bulge attempting to come out of his jeans, in anticipation. And he couldn’t hold it any longer, completely undressing himself, strapping a condom on and we were going it at.

“Fock, since the last time we did this, I just-” He lost what he was saying and thrust in to me slowly, pressing his forehead against my shoulder as I dug my nails in to his shoulder blades. 

Every thrust was a moan and a gasp and a bite to his shoulder to not scream in pleasure. 

“Oh, fuck.” He breathed, picking up the pace, kissing my neck and leaving little bites in random places.

“Oh, Aleeeeex, oh my god.” I almost screamed as he began to hit such a wonderful spot.

“You purr like a kitten. Oh god, I ‘aven’t been able to stop thinking about you." 

"Oh yeah?” I asked, but it mostly came out as a really drawn out moan. 

He kissed me jaw and nodded, “You’re summat else, babeh.”

I grabbed his hair and tugged as his thrusts became more and more aggressive and needing and I could feel myself nearing that wonderful edge.

He sort of pulled back and angled my hips so he could pound himself mercilessly in to me, hitting every good fucking nerve.

“Fuck, fuck, Alex!" 

"What, kitten?” He asked through shaking breaths.

“Oh, god. I’m going to co-”

He didn’t let me finish my sentence, only roughly grabbed my jaw and planting a very hot sloppy his on my lips, sending me right off the edge as my body was thrust in to ecstasy. 

He rode out my orgasm and it didn’t take him long to reach his. Before I knew it he had discarded of the condom and collapsed on top of me.

His breathing was heavy and shaky on my skin and his body gently shuddered on top of mine. 

I gently ran my fingers through his sweaty, messy hair until he became more and more relaxed and after a few minutes of silence, I noticed his breathing had changed so I moved my head to the side a bit and sure enough, he was fast asleep.

He must’ve been exhausted to fall asleep that quickly but damn it, he looked so adorable and worn out.

But being adorable didn’t stop the aching of my boobs caused by his weight, so I had to wake him up to get him off me. Without a word he rolled over on to his side, resuming his sleep and bringing the covers up to his chin.

I kind of wanted to wake him up but decided against that and headed to take a well deserved shower, while his Alex slept his jet lag away.

I could tell his stay with me would be very interesting.


	6. No Relationship Here

It’d been about a month since Alex had come to stay with me and we were going strong, as strong as you could be without being obsessive and psychotic. He’d finally met my band and he actually loved all of them, as they did him. They were more than enamored by him, he was just something amazing for them and not to mention, Alex and Dylan had become really good friends, so if Alex wasn’t with me, he was with my brother and that was totally cool with me.

Alex wanted me to meet his friends back home and honestly, that scared me a little bit but from what he told me, they already knew about me and were more than ready to meet me. Especially his best friend, Miles. He was Alex’s right hand man and apparently he was dying to get to know the girl that caught Alex’s heart.

Today I’d left Alex back at the apartment while I went to visit my mother only because we weren’t exactly dating and she probably wouldn’t care to meet him  
anyway, so I didn’t bother bringing him along for the trip.

“How have you been, sweetie?” My mom asked, setting down a cup of coffee in front of me, prepared just how I liked it. She sat across from me with her cup, and carefully poured half a spoonful of sugar in to it.

“I’ve been good, I think. The band is working on finishing up the album and we have a show next week, so I’m pretty excited for that.” I smiled, setting my phone down on the table.

“That’s good to hear. How was the award show in New York?” She asked, and my heart skipped at the memory of what actually happened there. How everything changed in one day.

“Um, we didn’t win but we had a really fun time just taking in the sights.”

She looked at me like she wanted to say something and I just sort of dreaded what would come out of her mouth for some reason. “So, who’s the guy?”

I blankly stared at her and shrugged, “What guy?”

She stood and went to the kitchen, coming back with a magazine in hand. I watched her sit and rummage through the glossy pages until she found what she was looking for. She placed the magazine in front of me and sure enough there I was with Alex while we talked outside of the hotel.

I covered my mouth in shock as I read the headline to myself in the article. “Alex Turner’s new fling from a metal band”. These assholes had done their research and found out my name and my band and I had never felt more exposed and embarrassed in my entire life.

“Is that your boyfriend? Apparently he’s really famous.” My mother commented as I looked up at her with wide eyes.

“Um, no. No, he’s a fri-" 

Fuck. 

They caught us kissing. 

FUCK MY LIFE.

"Sweetie?”

I looked up at her and decided I needed to go home and calm down before I did something crazy. 

“Um, can I keep this? I’ll explain everything later, I promise." 

I took the magazine and sped home, not knowing if I was on the verge of crying because I felt exposed or cause I was just really confused and didn’t know how to react to being in a worldwide magazine. 

I walked in to my apartment as Alex sat on the couch in a T-shirt and jeans, playing his guitar, with a journal next to him full of scribbles that I assumed were lyrics. But what he was writing was the least of my concerns.

"Hey” He said with a smile that quickly faded once he noticed my expression. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, setting his guitar down where he had just been sitting and coming to me as I pulled the magazine in to my chest, unsure of showing him or not.

“Shayley? Did the visit not go well?” He asked, again. 

“Um, well, my mom kind of found something and I- uh- I don’t know.” I opened the magazine to the dreaded page and handed the magazine to him.

He looked over it and furrowed his brows and read a part of it out loud, “Turner over model ex girlfriend and on to clown like red headed girl-” He stopped and shut the mag closed, setting it down on the table next to the door. 

His eyes sympathetic as he gently rubbed my arms up and down, “Shayley?”

My eyes hadn’t left the ground since I handed the magazine and my brain just wasn’t processing that having anything to do with someone as famous as him was going to be very public. My eyes began to water and I could feel myself sort of crumbling.

I slowly looked up at him and sighed, “Do you think I look like a clown?”

He sort of chuckled and pulled me in to his chest, “No, of course not. You’re gorgeous.” 

I took a deep breath to keep myself from crying but it just came over me as I cried in to his chest.

“Don’t cry, love. Those articles are bullshit.”

“Everyone is going to see that. I don’t want everyone to just see me as-” I stopped, realizing how mean what I was about to say was.

“Just someone who is dating me?” He asked, pulling back a bit and looking in to my eyes.

“No, Alex. I just- I don’t know.”

How could I tell him I didn’t want our “relationship” to overshadow my music, my career, what I’d worked so hard for without sounding like a bitch?

His thumbs gently wiped at my tears as he kissed my forehead, and I couldn’t help but notice how sad his face had become.

“But we’re not exactly dating.” I whispered.

He looked like I’d just stabbed him and maybe I had. 

“Would you want to not ever date? Is this that big of a problem?” He asked, with the slightest irritation in his voice.

“If I date you, it might overshadow what I’ve worked for. You’re already at the point you want to be, you’ve already achieved so much and I would just be seen as Alex Turner’s girlfriend. Alex Turner’s girlfriends’ band.” I explained attempting to make it sound less shitty than it actually was but he wasn’t stupid. He knew exactly what I was saying, and had already sort of backed away from me.

“So, we could never be together, is that right?” I could see the hurt turning in to anger as he walked in to the kitchen. 

“Did you really expect a relationship out of a one night stand?” I asked, not raising my voice.

He turned to me, his mouth hanging slightly open, his expression beyond aggravated. “I’m sorry, darling, but why the fuck would I be ‘ere if I didn’t ‘ave the slightest intention of making you my girlfriend?” 

“I don’t know, I didn’t think of that. I figured you just wanted a fuck buddy-”

“A fock buddy? Who do you think I am?” He shouted. 

“You’re this huge A list rock star than can fuck and dump as he pleases!" 

"And I also ‘ave feeling and emotions like everyone else, which is why I’m ‘ere!” He yelled, running his fingers over his face in agitation. “I’m ‘ere ‘cos I f’ockin’ like you, ‘cos I liked you the moment you opened that pretty little mouth of yours.”

I sniffled and watched him lean up against the counter, taking a deep breath.

“I can’t believe you’d write off some sort o’ relationship with me ‘cos I’m in a well known band. That’s unfair, is what that is.”

I wiped my face with my hands and began walking toward the door in defeat, figuring I’d done enough damage for one day.

“Where are you going?” He asked, following after me as I grabbed my keys.

“I’m going for a drive.” I said, trying to stifle my sobs. 

“No, it’s late." 

"I’ll be fine."


	7. Intoxicated I Love You's

After a long day at the studio battling to keep my vocal in tune, I finally got to my apartment and by the looks of it, no one was home, but the lights were still on. All of them.

It didn’t at all surprise me that Alex wasn’t home since I hadn’t actually seen him in a few days. I only felt his weight on the bed when he got home at four in the morning smelling of alcohol and cigarettes, and the weight lifting at around seven in the morning when he left. He was doing one hell of a job at ignoring me, that was for sure.

I locked the door behind me and dropped my bag on the couch, making my way to the kitchen, only to find the counters scattered with beer cans and bottles, cigarette ashes that didn’t quite make it in to the ashtray and a few glasses of watered down whiskey.

It was like he was drinking himself in to oblivion every single day, when all I wanted was for him to just talk to me. I know, I know, why don’t I talk to him? I was too scared he’d reject me, like I had him.

I’ll be the first to admit how much of a coward I was.

I grabbed the glasses and set them down in the sink to be washed tomorrow morning when I didn’t feel like complete shit, then I threw away the beer cans and bottles in to the trash can, placing them down on the bottom of the bag to avoid the loud clinking and scrunching of the materials. 

I didn’t bother with the ashes and turned off the lights, making my way in to the bedroom. I stripped myself of my shirt and jeans, and slipped in to my pajama shorts, and looked in my drawer for a clean shirt. I couldn’t help but notice how his clothes were scattered about and my hand involuntarily reached out, grabbing one of his baseball style tee’s and slipped it on. 

It smelled just like him and my heart sank a little at the thought that he wasn’t around. I wanted to pick up the phone and call him, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I went to the bed and turned on the TV, getting comfortable under the covers and watching Sex and the City reruns, till I felt my eyes become heavy and I finally fell asleep.

It was around two in the morning when my phone rang, very loudly, and pulled me out of my sleep. 

I pressed on the screen and put the call on speaker, while I turned to Alex’s side on the bed, sure enough, he wasn’t there.

“Hello?” I groggily said.

“Hey, Shay. Can you possibly come to my place and come get Alex? He’s drunk off his ass and we’re in no shape to take him home.” I heard my brother say through the loud background noise, consisting of screaming, chattering, and laughter. 

“Why the fuck is he at your place?” I asked, sitting up and rubbing my hand over my face, as I held my phone, the bright light blinding my eyes. 

“He came over to drink and he just really overdid it. Please come get him?” My brother begged and I could almost hear the pout in his voice.

“Okay, I’ll be over there in a bit.” I said, about to hang out when I heard his voice again, and someone else’s voice in the background.

“Oh, by the way, he says he loves you.”

My stomach dropped and my eyes widened but I acted as if it didn’t phase me.

“Be there in a bit.” I repeated and hung up.

I sat there for a few seconds wrapping my mind over what he said, but then again, Alex was intoxicated, he probably didn’t know what he was saying. He probably didn’t even know where his stupid nose was.

I took a deep breath, and unlocked my phone, looking at my home screen and was shocked to see that I had over ten notifications on my messages. 

I opened my messages and there it was, drunken texts from Alex.

“Babe I miss you”

“I’m sorry I’m a dickhead”

“Please reply to me”

“Shayley, i love you”

They went on and on and I couldn’t even breathe. I locked my phone, getting off my bed and putting on some jeans, making my way to the car.

It was about a twenty-minute drive and the whole time my mind was racing at the thought that this was the first time I’d be seeing him since we argued. I wasn’t sure if he’d be angry with me, or if he’d simply ignore what happened, or even worse, if he ignored me.

I finally pulled up to my brothers’ place and they were beyond prepared. They were waiting outside, holding him up, then walking him to the car, sitting his unsteady body down and strapping him in with the seatbelt, giving me sympathetic smiles. 

What had this loser told them?

I thanked them and began driving back home with a completely shit faced Alex.

“Heeeeeey” he quietly said, rolling his head toward my direction. 

“What?” I answered flatly. 

He didn’t say anything for a few minutes, just smiled at me.

“D’you realize how gorgeous you are?”

I ignored his little compliment and hoped he’d shut up but he didn’t.

“You ‘ave a beautiful profile, love. I miss you.”

He threw the “I miss you” like it went with what he was saying. But I missed him too, a lot more than I was willing to admit.

“You’re drunk, stop talking." 

He slowly set his big hand on my thigh and slowly caressed with his thumb, leaning back against the seat and closing his eyes. 

I turned off the engine and looked over at him, taking him in and realizing he was my favorite person in the world, hands down, no matter what. 

I took a hold of his hand and gently shook him, “Alex, wake up.”

He stirred and opened his big brown eyes, “Where are we?”

I smiled, “Home. Come on.”

I got out and went to his side of the car, opening the door and pulling him out, wrapping my arm around his waist, walking him to the apartment. Exactly how I had done that very first night we met. Only I never thought I’d be doing this again. 

I opened the door and stepped in, walking him to the bedroom and sitting him down on the bed. 

I slowly took his leather jacket off, followed by his shoes, and tucked him in to bed. 

Just as I was about to walk out of the room, I heard him say, “Shayley?”

I turned back to him, “Yeah?”

"Lay with me? Please?" 

"Al-”

“Y’know I love you, reyt?”

I froze. I completely froze. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know how to breathe, it almost felt like my body was shutting down. I had gone numb.

“What?” was all I managed to get out.

“I know you’re angry with me but I love you.” He said, simply as he sat up.

All I could do was stare. It was one thing to hear it from your brother but a completely different feeling to actually hear it from him.

“Say something?”

I slowly walked back to the bed, sitting at the edge opposite of him, and stared at my hands.

He didn’t come closer, just spoke carefully. “Do you believe me?”

I shrugged.

“I’ve been going crazy not being around you. Avoiding you all the time because of summat some daft.” He slurred, but god, he sounded perfect.

“If you’d give me the chance I could make you the ha-”

“You already do.” I interrupted, fiddling with the sheets and pulling them over my legs.

I didn’t dare look up at him because he probably had a smile on his face and that would make me go weak for him.

I felt the bed sink in a little and he was in front of me, a little shaky but he held my face in one of his hands.

“I want to be yours, only yours.” He whispered as I kissed the palm of his hand, then throwing my arms around his neck as he pulled me on to his lap, holding me tightly, kissing my hair, and breathing a sigh of relief.

I could feel his body relax in to mine and I immediately felt better.

“Can I?” He asked, pulling back a bit and looking me in the eyes.

I nodded as he smiled so big, that infectious, youthful smile of his and pulled me back in to his arms like he was the happiest he’d ever been.

“Thank you.” He said and pulled us down in to the bed, cuddling under the sheets, as I buried my face in to his warm chest.

“I missed you, I missed you more than you can imagine.” He said, and for a drunk person, he sounded very sober.

“Alex?”

He looked down at me and kissed the tip of my nose.

“I’m sorry I’m so stubborn.”

He smiled, “‘s okay, love. That’s what I like about you.” 

I couldn’t help but laugh as he ran his fingers through my hair. “Well, I ‘ave a question for you.” He brought up.

I eyed him wondering what the hell he was going to ask.

“Erm, d’you want to go to New York with me? I ‘ave a few small appearances to do and I’d be gone for about two weeks. Wanted to know if you’d come with?”

“I wouldn’t be able to stay for two weeks, but maybe a few days?” I suggested.

He squeezed me in his arms and nodded, “That sounds fine and Miles is DYING to meet the bird that captured my attention.”

Oh, goodie. I get to go back to New York and meet new people. 

Sounded like a good fucking time.


	8. Six Hours

“In six hours you’ll be on your way to New York. That leaves four hours for us time, and two for the airport.” I said, lying in bed in my panties and t-shirt, scrolling through my twitter feed on my phone while Alex sat next to me doing the same.

“Four hours, ey? And how would you like to spend them?” He asked with a smile as he fell back on to the bed, setting his phone next to him, the turning to me.

I looked away from my phone long enough to glance at him and shrug. “I just want to be with you.”

I could see that crooked smile on his lips as he rolled toward me, kissing my cheek. 

“You’re sweet, love.”

I leaned up a little and kissed his nose, then went back to my phone. 

“You’ll only be gone for two days and I’ll meet you up there. It shouldn’t be too bad, I don’t think.” I said, reading tweets and trying to concentrate on what I was saying at the same time.

“But I’ll still miss you." 

His deep, raspy voice finally pulled me out of my digital veil and I finally put my phone down, turning to him and cupping his face in my hand.

"I’ll miss you, too." 

His sleepy eyes searched my face, “I love you.”

"Why?” I asked, out of pure curiosity.

“Because you’re amazing and beautiful and the most perfect woman on the face of the earth. And you could probably kick my arse if I did something awful.” He smiled. 

He leaned in and gave me one of those slow, amazing kisses that probably only his mouth could do and it drove me absolutely insane. “You’ve got me around your finger.”

I grinned in to his kiss as he swiftly pulled me on top of him, straddling his hips, all while his lips never left mine.

His big, rough hands stayed in place on my waist as mine rested on his chest. I pulled away for air and took in the beautiful sight of him being completely venerable, with his messy hair, pouty lips parted from our kiss and his eyes half closed. He had a face full of bliss.

“What?” He asked.

I shook my head and leaned down, resting my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat through his shirt. “You’re my favorite Brit.”

“You’re my favourite American. You’re my favourite everything, really.”

He was too good to me. What had I ever done to deserve someone as caring as him?  
“I’m most excited for you to meet my mates, love.”

“What if they don’t like me? Do they like American’s? Does your band only date British girls? Do they have a thick accent like you. cause sometimes I can’t understand you-”

He pulled me up in to a sitting position on him,and placed his index finger over my lips and shushed my blabbering. I tried to make it sound like I was joking but I was actually freaked out.

“They love American’s, yes, they have an accent, and I know they’ll love you. I know Miles of all people is going to fall in love with you. He’s me best mate, we’re bezzies, so he’s supposed to like my bird.”

“Okay, what is a bezzie and when you say bird, that’s like a girlfriend?” I asked, as his fingers gently caressed my sides.

He laughed his adorable sheepy laugh and shook his head, “Bezzie is like best friends, and bird like a girl, woman.” 

I mouthed an “oh” and stared at the headboard, going through a million different scenarios of what if’s and finally snapping myself out of it when I felt my stomach grumble.

I leaned down, kissing his lips and hopping off him, walking out of the room but stopping at the door and turning to him. “Im going to make some breakfast. You coming?”

He scanned my body up and down and nodded. “Y-yeah, of course.”

I walked in to the kitchen and pulled the pancake mix from the pantry and setting it down on the counter. “Are you in the mood for pancakes?” I asked, turning to him as he watched me from the doorframe. 

“Anythin’, love.” He quietly said. 

I smiled and began to pull all the supplies I would be needing to make the pancakes, then pouring a little of the mix in to a bowl with some milk and began to mix it with a whisk.

I felt his warm, very toned arms wrap around my waist as he pressed kisses to my neck.

“D’you know how naughty you look cookin’ in your knickers, love?” He hoarsely whispered in to my ear. And by the sudden change in his tone, I knew he had something other than food on his mind.

I giggled and continued to whisk away at the mixture. “Oh, sounds like I need to be punished.” I joked, but as the kisses on my neck became sloppier and more aggressive I knew this was no joke.

I felt his hand that was placed on my waist rotate to my ass where it quickly disappeared in to my panties and his long fingers found their way to my most sensitive spot, rubbing gently, but firmly. A moan slipped my lips as he bit my neck, and with his free hand he grabbed the bowl out of my hands, placing it down on the counter.

I leaned back in to him, with a breathy moan as I gripped on to the counter as hard as I could.

“Alex-”

“Shh, love.” He silenced me, pushing me down on to the counter, my ass in the air as he continued to please me to no end.

I closed my eyes in pleasure for a moment, letting the feeling of him touching me as he pleased take over but when I opened my eyes again, I was met with the half mixed bowl of pancake mix.

“Al- Oh god, t-the food-” I managed to spit out through the moans.

He leaned in to me and whispered, “The food will still be there when I’m done with you.”

I finally got a moment to catch my breath when he pulled his fingers out of my panties, and hooked them on to the sides, pulling my undergarments down to my ankles.

Suddenly, there was no contact and I couldn’t help but make a whining noise. He wasn’t touching me but I could feel him behind me and I rolled my eyes at whatever the fuck he was doing cause he sure as hell wasn’t doing me.

“Alex?” I finally asked, and soon enough, I felt his hands on my hips as he thrust his thick length in to me.

My mouth hung open as a shaky moan made it’s way past my lips, my eyes closing at the amazing feeling of him inside me.

My hands failed in grabbing anything concrete but I just needed to grab on to something.

“F’ock, Shayley.” He groaned, fingertips digging in to my skin as he sped up.

“Oh my god, oh my god.” was all I could say as my breath fogged up the counter top and I thought my head was going to go through the wall if he kept pounding in to me like that, but god, I didn’t want him to stop.

I felt his hand reach under my and pull me in to his chest, that same hand sneaking up around my neck and putting a little pressure, which actually turned me on even more.

“Fuuuuuuuck” I moaned as he went at an ungodly speed.

“Say my name” He ordered. his voice shaking but still as sexy as ever.

“Ah- Alex! FUCK, ALEX!” I almost yelled as I felt my body begin to tense up. I was basically standing on my toes so he’d hit my spot, and I knew my legs were going to be noodles after this but it would be so worth it.

“Come for me, love.” He growled, biting my ear and squeezing at my neck a little as the feeling in my stomach released, shooting me right in to an amazing orgasm.  
I squeaked as my legs began to shake, so Alex released me from his grip so I rested on the counter while he continued to pound in to me till he finally came with plenty of curses. 

He pulled away after a few seconds and put his boxers back on and being a gentleman and slipping my panties back on while I was still dead on the counter, attempting to regain my strength. 

“Fuck, Alex.” I groaned, my legs shakier than before. At this point, I didn’t even want breakfast. All I wanted was to sleep, wake up and have him fuck me like that again.

“Are you going to finish the pancakes?” He asked, and I could hear the smirk in his voice. That smug asshole.

“I’m- uh. I need to sleep.”

I felt him pull me off the counter and swing me in to his arms as he carried me in to the bedroom, and laying me down on the bed, pulling the covers over me.

“Sleep.” He simply said as he showered my face with kisses.

“But we have like three hours.” I whined.

“I’ll make breakfast while you take a little nap and I’ll wake you up when it’s done. Deal?”

I nodded as he pecked my lips and left me to my slumber.


	9. Face Time

I was sat on an ugly red leather couch were questionable things probably happened on it by other bands to come through, but there was nowhere else to sit in this dressing room. Well, there was the plastic chairs, but those didn’t look too comfortable. 

The door opened and Dylan walked in, slumping down next to me on the couch, looking a little sweaty.

“Did you just run like ten laps?” I laughed, poking his cheek. 

He softly hit my arm and shook his head, “I was setting up and it’s fucking hot on that stage. I don’t know if you noticed but there’s no barricade or anything and the venue is tiny as shit.”

I basically lit up, “Oh! I love these types of venues. They’re very intimate.”

He nodded and was about to say something when my phone began to ring with the FaceTime tone. 

I hit the button and saw Alex’s gorgeous face ob my screen. “Hey, Turner.” I said with a smile as I moved a bit so he could see my brother as well.

“‘ey, love.” He said, smiling then switching his eyes to me. “Oh,’ey Shayley.”

Dylan laughed and said, “Hey, baby. We miss you!”

“I miss you, too! You should come with Shayley to New York.” He suggested, making a face and I almost couldn’t hold my laugh in as these two flirted it up in front of me. If anything, Dylan and Alex had developed one hell of a friendship. Well, I mean, they did get drunk together and I guess that’s when you make a bond with someone. 

When you’re shit faced and puking up your lungs.

“I would’ve loved to but you know, recording and shit. At least you’ll have the next best thing, my sister here.” Dylan said, sticking his tongue out at me.

I punched his arm as he let out a girly scream getting up and going to the door, “I’ll leave you two lovebirds. I’ll let you know when it’s time to go on.” He said to me about to walk out but not before shouting, “I LOVE YOU, ALEX!” 

Alex smiled big and said, “Love you more!” 

Dylan walked out and finally I had Alex on FaceTime to myself. I watched him look at something in front of him, but he quickly adverted his attention to me.

“I miss you, love.” He said with a gentle smile, cocking his head to the side. 

“I miss you too, but tomorrow we’ll be together and it’ll be the best thing ever." 

"I can’t wait. I’ve been ‘avin’ trouble sleepin’ since you ‘aven’t been around.” He pouted.

I laughed and shook my head. “Well, tomorrow I’ll be next to you and we’ll cuddle till our arms fall asleep and our legs fall off.”

He laughed so hard, the phone almost fell out of his hand and he muttered a very quiet “shit” as he nodded. “I’d love that.”

The door opened again and Dylan poked his head in, “Shay, it’s time.”

I nodded and turned back to Alex, not wanting to leave that beautiful man in my phone. “Hey, I have to go.”

He pouted and nodded, “Alreyt, have fun.” And with that we ended the call and I stood to my feet, tucking my phone in to my front pocket for safety and making my way to the stage.

The opening music came on and I slowly made my way to the center of the stage where my red microphone was placed on it’s matching red stand.

It was so hot and humid that I knew we’d have one hell of a show. We kicked in to the first few songs with as much energy as I could muster. By the third song I was already drenched in sweat from all the jumping and crowd hyping I was doing, but my breather came just in time as I had a small break to talk to the crowd.

“We are Kill the Elite from about three hours away from here.” I said with a laugh, moving my hair away from my sweaty face. “How many of you have seen us before?” I asked, and heard various “woo’s” and “me’s”. 

“Awesome! Well, we have a few more songs before our opener comes on, if that’s okay with you.” I said and loved the roaring of the crowd in front of me. “Alright, this one is ca-”

“Wait, wait! Shayley, you forgot something.” I heard my brother say from his drum kit as he reached behind him for something.

“And what is that?” I asked, confused as fuck.

“Someone trusted me to give you this small gift when it was time, and right now seems about right.” He said, as I raised an eyebrow.

He walked out from his drum kit and walked toward me with the biggest bouquet of roses I’d ever seen.

He handed them to me as I struggled to hold them up with one hand, so I sat the mic back on its stand and held on to the bouquet. 

“Read the note.” Dylan smiled as he handed me the little white card with small handwriting.

The crowd cheered me on to read it, so I did.

“Okay, it says, "For my favourite American, have a good show. Love, Alex.”

I don’t know if I imagined it but the crowd seemed to have gotten louder. They knew what Alex sent this and I just stood there with the biggest smile on my face.

I turned to my brother and mouthed an “oh my god” in disbelief that he would do something so fucking cute like this. He was definitely going to be getting a call from me later to thank him for this.

“He loves you!” Someone from the crowd yelled out, snapping me out of my little trance and I laughed. “Yeah, I love him too.”

I could hear the various woo’s as I walked toward the big monitors behind us, laying the roses down and the note for safe keeping while I went back to the microphone trying not to smile so much, but I couldn’t help it. 

“Okay, ready for a few more?!” I asked the crowd and finished the set with flying colors.

We went off stage and headed toward the dressing room, as I sat back down on that ugly couch, the roses next to me. I wiped at my face with a towel and I called Alex.  
He quickly answered with a very long “‘elllooooooooo”

“Aleeeeeex.” I sang with a smile.

“Shaaaayyleeey.” He mocked with a laugh. “Did you like the flowers?”

I nodded, though he couldn’t see that. “I did, and the crowd really liked them, too.” I beamed, picking up one of the roses and putting it up to my nose, loving the soft scent.

“Good, they need to know that you’re mine.”

“And you?”  
“Yours. Always yours.” He whispered, causing chills to run down my spine.

I sighed, leaning back against the couch and closing my eyes. “I can’t wait to see you.”

“Same here, love. Just a few more hours.”

I took a moment to just listen to him talk. Listen to his voice, the way he slurred his words together and sometimes sounded so monotone but quickly bounced back with his very strong Sheffield accent. The way he said certain words so flatly, the way his deep voice echoed throughout my body.

“Shayley?” I heard him ask.

I opened my eyes and shook my head. “I like your voice.”

“It puts you to sleep? Am I boring?” He asked, offended.

“No, silly. I love the sound of your voice. It soothes me right in to another world.”

“I feel special.” I heard him say through a yawn.

“Okay, go to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I said. “Make sure to have a super happy face for me, okay?”

He yawned again and said, “Yes ma’am. Love you.”

And with that we were disconnected for a few hours until I was finally in his arms again.

We finally packed up our instruments and began the drive back home, which would be a few hours, so I got comfy in the passengers seat as Dyaln drove us back home.

“Did he, like, call you to have you do that?” I asked, curious as to how this whole flower plan went off so effortlessly.

Dylan laughed and nodded, not taking his eyes off the road. “Yeah, he called and filled me in. He’s really in love with you, Shay. Like, this guy is fucking whooped.” 

I smiled but quickly masked it by pursing my lips together. 

“You never even told me how the fuck you started dating.”

I thought about it and laughed. “Um, well, we just barely started actually dating just a few days ago. It just kind of happened and I figured why the fuck not?”

He laughed, “Oh yeah. Why not date the biggest fucking rock star in the world? Yeah, seems like a good explanation.” He said with a bit of sarcasm. “I just hope you know what you’re getting yourself in to. He’s a huge artist, meaning he’s under the public eye a lot more than you’d think, hence how mom got that magazine and found out about you two.”

I cringed at the reminded of that day. That could’ve easily been the day that ended Alex and I.

“Are you ready to be followed around like he is? Are you sure you’re ready to hear the gossip that may not necessarily be true?”

I sort of stared at him in shock that he would say such an awful thing, but then again, he had a point. 

I leaned back against the seat and stared out at the dark road ahead of us. “I hope so.”

“I just want you to be aware of things that might not be good, you know?”  
I nodded, ” I know.”

He pulled over in to a gas station and killed the engine, getting out and poking his head back in. “Do you want anything? Water?”

I looked in the back seat where my other members were dead asleep. “Um, no. I’m good.”

“Okay.” he said and disappeared inside the gas station while I sat back in the car staring at the night sky. 

My phone brightly lit up and a text message from Alex popped up on my screen.  
“So you love me too, ey? Glad I had your friends record that bit for me.”

I bit back a giggle and replied. “Go back to sleep, Romeo.”

I couldn’t wait to see his stupid face.


	10. Fast and Furious Kisses

I walked out in to the airport terminal with my bag and effortlessly noticed him standing there next to a pole, looking very uncomfortable for some reason, in his white t-shirt, leather jacket and dark wash jeans with his hair completely ungelled, giving him some sort of fringe across his forehead. I couldn’t help the smile that spread over my lips as we finally made eye contact and I ran to him.

My stomach flipped and I made my way to him, dropping my bag on the ground and jumping in to his arms, as he held me up, holding me tightly to him.

I wasted no time and grabbed his face, smashing my lips in to his and whispering, “I missed you” in to the kiss. Tasting the last cigarette he’d smoked and probably some peppermint gum.

“Mm,” he quietly groaned with a smile, “Hi, baby.” He set me down on my feet, but held me against him, his lips sweetly kissing mine.

I smiled and hugged him, breathing in his scent and finally feeling at home.  
“Are you ready to go?” He asked, kissing the top of my head.

I nodded as he pulled back, picking my bag off the floor and walking me to baggage claim to get my things, then to his car.

On the way to his place, every once in a while I would catch him glance at me with a smile and I couldn’t help but ask.

“What?" 

He shook his head, “I can’t stop looking at you. You’re so beautiful.”

I placed my hand on his leg, as he switched hands to hold the steering wheel, lacing fingers with mine. 

"You’re very distracting. I fear I may crash and die because you’re so much." 

I laughed, not tearing my eyes away from our hands. “You’re so dramatic.”

"I’m just glad you’re ‘ere. I’ve been sort o’ a mess and you being ‘ere is going to make me a lot better.”

I couldn’t help but feel like what he said had a lot more weight to it than he led on, but I brushed it off and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. 

“Will you kiss me?” He asked, looking at me then quickly going back to the road. 

“What?” I asked. Given the circumstances, that was an odd request.

“Kiss me." 

"You’re driving?” I said, but it sounded a lot more like a question.

“It’ll be fine.” He said with a smirk and how could I say no to that.

I leaned over and planted my lips on his, quickly pulling away so we didn’t crash and die.

“Oh, the adrenaline!” He shouted and finally pulled in to the parking garage of the building I’d be calling home for a few days.

He turned off the ignition and turned to me, his hand gently caressing my cheek and he seemed sort of lost in his own world for a moment. I kissed the palm of his hand and snapped him out of it.

“I missed you a lot, you know that?” He whispered with a half smile.

“I missed you too, Alex.”

He leaned in and gave me a kiss, then pulled away and asked, “Ready?”

I nodded and got out of the car, getting my bags and making our way in to the elevator.

He seemed tense, nervous almost and I wondered why he’d be so stiff around me.

“Are you okay?” I asked, lacing fingers with his again.

He looked down at me and nodded. “I’m fine. I’m just a bit tired, is all.”

“Are you sure?” I still wasn’t convinced.

He leaned in and kissed my forehead, then the tip of my nose. “I’m alreyt. Don’t worry about me, alreyt?”

The elevator doors opened and we went up to his door, quickly opening it and stepping inside.

He closed the door behind me and began to take my stuff back to his room while I stood there taking it all in. The scent of cigarettes and vanilla in the air, the posh white couches, the glass center table, the elegant colored walls, the shiny floor, and the fact that this was where it had all begun. 

“Love?” He asked, watching me. “Are you hungry? Do you want anythin’?”

I turned to him and shook my head, “I’m okay. Do you have anything planned for today?” I asked.

He nodded. “A small radio appearance but nothing big. D’you want to come?”

“If you want me to. When is it?”

He looked at the insanely huge clock on the wall and said, “Erm, a few hours.”

“Well, I think I’m going to take a nap. I’m exhausted." 

He nodded, “Alreyt, I’ll be here.”

I went in to the bedroom and sat on the bed, kicking off my shoes, realizing how off he was.

"Alex?” I said, raising my voice a bit so he could hear me from the other room.

He stepped in to the doorframe and cocked his head to the side. “Yeah?”

“Will you lay with me?”

He seemed to hesitate for a moment which completely caught me off guard, but he nodded. “Okay.”

We lay down, under the covers, cuddling with my back to his chest. 

We used to fit like puzzle pieces but now, it just felt wrong.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You seem a little weird.”

He cleared his throat and pressed his nose in to my hair. “I’m okay, really. I just ‘ave a lot ‘o things on me mind.”

“Talk to me?" 

He was quiet for a moment, but I knew better than to speak too soon. Sometimes, he took his time to gather his thoughts, even if it took longer than a minute.

"I- sometimes when I see you, I sort o’ feel like I’m not enough for you.” He quietly said, the arm around my waist, clung on to me a little tighter.

“Why would you ever think that?” I asked, appalled that he would even think he wasn’t enough for me. He was absolutely everything. 

“What if I f’ock up? I would never want to lose you.”

I turned my body and faced him. Faced that sad little face of his. “You won’t lose me. I’m far too invested in you.”

He kissed my forehead, and closed his eyes. “Don’t listen to me, love. Sleep.”

There was a certain heaviness in my heart but I pushed the awful thoughts away and drifted off to sleep.

When I woke up, it was all a blur since it seemed like I woke up and was at the radio station with Alex. But one thing that was completely clear to me was that he wasn’t next to me when I awoke. I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was low key pushing me away.

But there was no time for negativity. I had to look pretty to be at his side for this radio interview and support him to no end with a smile on my face. The dj was so rad that he wanted me to tag along for a joint interview.

Of course, I declined and said it was Alex’s interview but he was actually egging me on to join him so I finally agreed and sat on the stool next to him, wearing those oversized headphones radio people wore.

“Alright, alright! This is Johnny John with two very unlikely people to be in our studio at the same time. We have Alex from the English band the Arctic Monkeys and the lovely Shayley from the metal band Kill the Elite. So guys, how are you? How are you enjoying your day?” The DJ asked.

Alex glanced at me as I nodded for him to take the initiative. “We’re doing pretty alreyt on this fine day. Me lady ‘ere is prob’ly a little tired since I ‘ad to wake her up to get ‘er to come with me.” He answered with a cool and collectedness about him.  
“It’s almost 6pm!” The DJ shouted with a laugh.

“In my defense, I played a gig last night, drove home, packed, got on a flight and came here. I think it’s a pretty valid excuse.” I answered with a smile.

“Very valid point. Okay! So let’s get the ball rolling. You two are from very different genres of the rock world. You have Alex from a huge indie band and Shayley from a metal band that if you only listen to mainstream music, you probably don’t know who they are. Now, everyone has been wondering, how did two such powerful forces meet?”

I loved how this guy asked his questions. Very detailed, very fast, and with a lot of hand gestures. That’s probably why he was a radio host.

Alex almost immediately blushed and I felt like I had to swoop in and salvage this. 

“We met at a bar a few months ago after an award show. We sort of bonded over a song that was playing.”

“What song?”

“Uh, I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor.” I said with a laugh, covering my face from the embarrassment. 

“So you bonded over his song?”

“She didn’t know it were me.” Alex chimed in, giggling his ass off.

“She didn’t?!”

Alex shook his head. 

“Nope! I legit talked to him like was just some random guy and it didn’t hit me that it was him until he said he overplayed the song. I mean, it’s not my fault cause when I listened to them a long time ago, he was a teenager and looked extremely different.” 

I laughed.

“So you had no idea?!” Johnny John asked, shocked.

“None. It wasn’t my brightest moment." 

"And so you became fast friends?”

Alex nodded, “Yeah, definitely. She intrigued me when she said she were in a band. I thought that were pretty impressive given the shite music we’re dealt with nowadays, I’ve heard some o’ her tunes and I think they’re amazing. I love it.”

I blushed and smiled at his comment as he reached over, grabbing my hand and giving it a squeeze. 

“Have you seen her live?”

Alex shook his head, “I sort o’ saw it over FaceTime, I think it’s called, and I mean, it looks like a good old time. A lot more aggressive than my crowds now.” 

“I’ve been to a few of Kill the Elite’s shows and they are absolutely killer. One of my favorite live performers for than genre of music, hands down. So many props to you for being such a strong female leader in the metal world.” He praised causing me to have a permanent smile on my face.

“Thank you so much.” I smiled big, loving the praise.

“Have you seen his band live?”

I shook my head and pouted, forgetting this was radio not tv. “No, sadly I haven’t. I’d love to, though.”

“You really should. They have the craziest live show, it’s almost like you’re in the 50’s for an hour or so." 

"Thank you.” Alex smiled, squeezing my hand again.

“So, Alex, what’s next for AM?” The dj asked.

“Erm, we just finished off our longest tour yet, and now we’re just going to take some time off to ourselves and get back in to the groove of regular life and write some material, really.” He explained but I couldn’t concentrate on what he was saying, only on how his thumb was caressing my hand.

“And Shayley, what about you? What’s next?”

I snapped out of my little world and smiled, “Um, well, we’re currently finishing off our next album which will be out sometime early spring and we have a few scattered shows here and there but that’s about it.”

“Alright, thank you guys so much for joining us, It was a pleasure and you listeners out there, stay tuned for some Arctic Monkeys and Kill the Elite in the mix.” Johnny John said and went off air, letting the commercials play.

Finally it was over but not before signing stuff and taking pictures with the staff.  
Just as we made our way to the elevator, Alex stopped me and grabbed my face, kissing me with the most intensity he had since I’d arrived.

“You and I, love. We could rule the world.”


	11. Miles Freakin' Kane

We made our way in to the elevator between kisses and groping, hoping no one else walked in with us, because that would make for an awful ride.

His lips slipped down my jaw, to my neck, leaving gentle nibbles about and causing me to squirm in his grasp, my fingers raking through his hair, loving the feel of him on me.

The elevator hit our floor with a ding and Alex pulled back with a shy smile, kissing my cheek gently, then leading me out in to his place.

I had barely even sat down when the door burst open, and a lanky man with shaggy hair and a very fitted suit made his way inside with two bottles of alcohol in his hands.

“Aaaaaaaaaal!” He shouted as Alex basically ran to him and gave him a hug, lifting the man off the ground dramatically like a total loser, while I sat there wondering who the hell that was.

Finally when they ended their encounter, Alex grabbed the man by the wrist and dragged him over to me as I stood, pulling at the hem of my shirt to reduce the wrinkles.

“Miles, this is Shayley, Shayley this is me best mate, Miles.” Alex said, as Miles eyes lit up and he warmly pulled me in to a hug, kissing my cheek. My, British people were affectionate.

“I’m right pleased to finally meet you. Al’s been talking about you like you’re some sort o’ goddess and let me just say, he might be on to somethin’” Miles said as he pulled away with a big smile on his face.

I covered my blushing face in my hands for a split second and shook my head, “Oh god, you’re sweet.”

“Wait,” he froze, “say somethin’.” He said with a serious expression.

“What?” I asked, my eyes growing wide, wondering if I’d done something wrong.

“Say your name.” He squinted at me.

“Shayley?" 

"AH!” He shouted, his smile returning. “You are true American. I love American accents.” Miles said, walking to the kitchen and setting the bottles down on the counter. 

“Care to get started?” He asked with a grin and an arched eyebrow. I wont lie, Miles was the life of the party, you could tell just by the way he spoke, they way he carried himself.

Alex handed him some wine glasses and he poured some in each, handing me mine as I sat on the counter and watched their back and forth banter about everything.

I’m not going to lie. It was actually pretty difficult to understand what the hell they were saying. Miles talked fast, while Alex spoke in mumbles, yet, they understood each other perfectly while I was the dumb American taking ten years to figure out once sentence.

But one thing I DID get, was that they had some sort of adventure in Paris and if I didn’t know any better, these two were flirting with each other. I couldn’t be mad, they just had one of those bromances that were too cute for words.

“Are you sure you two didn’t date?” I asked, taking a sip of my wine but not tearing my eyes off them. 

Alex laughed and raised an eyebrow. “We briefly attempted it and realized we’re prob’ly better off as friends.”

For some reason. I didn’t think he was kidding but I laughed it off as Alex came towards me, licking his lips. “Are you feeling left out, love?”

I shook my head as his lips neared mine, and I lost myself in his soft kiss. I didn’t snap out of it until I heard Miles singing to a song playing on the radio.

I pulled back and listened to him in awe. That man had a flawless voice.

“Aye, mate. Tone that down, you made ‘er pull away from me!” Alex joked as Miles turned to us, looking at me in particular. 

“Wow, you have an amazing voice.” I praised.

“He IS a singer, love” Alex through in.

“OH!" 

"What? Al didn’t tell you about the small project we did together?” Miles asked in shock.

I shook my head, “No, but you guys can always sing me a tune.”

He brushed his bangs out of his eyes and walked towards Alex.

“Want her, have her, two years have gone now but I“ He began as Alex jumped in doing the backing vocals.

“Can’t relate to the never ending games that you play.” They both sang and my eyes widened to the point I felt like my eyeballs were about to pop off.

“As desire passes through, then you’re open to the truth, I hope you understand and your love is standing next to me, standing next to me.”

I covered my mouth in an attempt to keep myself from fan-girling as hard as I wanted to. They sounded amazing. Their voices went together perfectly.

“Holy fuck, that was beautiful!" 

"Thank you, love. Back then we had more youthful voices, but I think we can still make it work if we were to ever do another album.”

“Shit, guys. I’m literally blown away right now.” I couldn’t help it. It was love at first song.

He kissed me and smiled, “She like us, Mi.”

Miles took a dramatic bow, “Thank you, thank you.”

Many glasses of wine turned in to vodka and tequila, with three pizza’s later, Miles and I found ourselves sitting on the counter playing some card game I didn’t quite understand, chatting about nonsense, while Alex was engulfed in a documentary in the living room with a beer in his hand.

“I’m in love with your accent, honestly.” Miles mentioned, taking a swig of his beer.

I laughed and took a bite of my pizza. “Yeah? It’s usually me that falls in love with other’s accents. I think mine is pretty boring.”

“No! Not at all, they’re pretty cool. I don’t know if you’re aware but in the UK there’s not many Americans so when we hear that accent, it’s a loaded deal. I bet Al thought the same when he met you.” He looked up with a shy smile, “And it’s okay. I know what happened that first night, no need to be embarrassed or anything.”

I dropped my cards and covered my face in my hands. “Oh my god. Kill me now.”

“It’s alright, love! Since the day he met you he hasn’t been able to stop talking about you.”

“Well, I hope what he’s told you is less embarrassing.” I nervously laughed and sipped from my vodka soda.

“He’s told me how he loves your laugh, and how your hair is his favorite ever.”

I looked at the messy hired boy on the couch, glued to the tv screen, and couldn’t help but smile at what a sap he was.

“What else did he say?” I asked with confidence as Miles chuckled.

“He’s said he loves how you were very reluctant to him at first. He loves how you kiss him and kiss his nose-”

I held my hand out for him to stop. I was going through cuteness overload and needed at least five minutes to compose myself.

“He loves you, Shayley. There’s not doubt about that. He fell for you the moment he met you.”

I sat there with a grin on my face, loving how he told his best friend about me. Well, I could’ve done without Miles knowing we had sex the first night but I guess I could live with that.

We chatted for a while when we got on the topic of pools, 

“Yeh, this place has one of those heated indoor pools only residents can get in to. It’s pretty awesome.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Is it open right now?”

He smirked. “We can find out.”

“Yes! Let’s go!” I said as we got off the counter, going to Alex and low and behold, he was fast asleep on the couch.

I grabbed the remote and turned the tv off, leaning down and kissing his cheek.

“Hey, we’re gonna go find the pool. We’ll be back in a bit.” I quietly said and all I got from him was a slight nod and a groan.

I took that as an ‘okay’ and we ditched the place, going down a few flights of stairs to avoid taking the elevator.

Soon, we found the poolroom and unlocked it with Miles’ keycard. 

We walked inside the dark room but the lights coming from the outside gave it an irresistible glow.

Miles’ began to take off his expensive suit and it hit me that I couldn’t jump in fully clothes but I was aware that I was wearing skimpy undergarments, and my bra was sheer with strategically placed lace.

But I stripped anyway.

I couldn’t be THE party foul.

I dipped my foot in to the pool and shivered at how cold it felt.

“If you do that, you’ll never get in.” Miles said from the other side of the pool as he dove in.

I took a deep breath and jumped in, feeling the freezing water attack me. As quick as I got in, I got out. I was not a fan of cold water.

“I thought you said it was heated?!” I shouted, covering my chest with my arms, and shivering like crazy while Miles stayed in the water like it didn’t even phase him.

“i guess they turn it off at night?” He questioned, splashing some water at me as I took a few steps back.

I heard the door open and fear set in. What if we weren’t supposed to be in here and we’d get in trouble?

I turned and saw Alex standing there with a few towels in his hands, and fear creeped in again because I didn’t want him thinking I was on to something with Miles.

“Giving me mate ‘ere quite and eyeful, arent ya?" 

But my uncertainty faded when a smile spread over his pink lips and he walked over to me.

"Your beauty needs to be shared with the world.” He whispered, before he leaned in and kissed me very gently.

He pulled back and offered me a towel, to which I quickly reached out to grab, only to have him pull it away with a mischievous smirk. 

“Ah, ah, ah. What’s the magic word?”

I shook my head and shrugged, “I don’t know. Please?”

“One more kiss?”

I leaned in to him and planted my lips to his, reaching in to his pockets, pulling out whatever was in them before pushing him in to the pool while the towels landed next to my feet.

Miles and I burst in to laughter as Alex resurfaced, “Yeah, very mature.” He said, splashing some water on me.

We spent some time fucking around in the water and eventually went back to his place. I assumed Miles would be staying over because he borrowed some clothes from Alex and went to the guest room.

I still hadn’t changed in to dry clothes because Alex was hogging up the bathroom, and when he did walk out he went over to Miles, talking about something I couldn’t quite hear, nor did I care for it.

But then he came back in to the bedroom, kissing me and holding on to my bare waist.

“D’you know how beautiful you look?” He asked, kissing my neck and all around my face as I shook my head.

“Goodnight, love birds!” I heard Miles say before shutting his door, as Alex pushed our door closed with his foot, his lips not leaving mine.

“I wish you could see how perfect you are. How amazing you feel when I touch you, how every sound you make is gorgeous.”

I looked in to his eyes and furrowed my brows, wondering where all this sweetness was coming from.

“I just love you.”

I touched his cheek and kissed his lips again. “I love you, too.”

He pulled back, his face beaming, a confused smile on his lips and for a moment he looked stunned. He didn’t know what to say.

“You- you lo-"he stopped and let out a frustrated giggle. "You, you lo- love me? You. Love. Me?”

I chuckled at his incoherent babble and nodded “I do.”

He held out his hand with his index finger out and said, “Hold on. I’ll be right back.”

I cocked my head to the side, watching him walk over to Miles’ room, opening the door without knocking and then you heard a very loud shout.

“FOCKING FINALLY!”


	12. Polaroid Photos

I woke up to a strange sensation of warm kisses being pressed up my spine. I let out a sleepy moan as the kisses crept up to my shoulder, then up to my face.

“Wake up, love.” Alex quietly whispered in to my ear, kissing my hair.

I was lying on my stomach so I attempted to pull the cover over my face but to no avail, Alex didn’t let me.

I sighed in defeat and opened my eyes and saw Alex holding up a small white camera that emitted a big white flash in to my eyes, causing me to flinch.

I heard a little snap and the photograph was spit out of the camera. Alex stared at it for a good minute and laughed, “This is a beautiful one.”

I squinted at him, still seeing spots from the flash. He held out the photo to me and I took it, hating how dumb and unmade up I looked. My hair was a mess, my face was makeup less and disgusting. Lord, what was wrong with this man?

Another flash made me sit up and swat the camera away from him, failing miserably and only hitting his hand. I set the photo down and rubbed my eyes.

“Alex, what the hell?!”

He pulled back with a laugh and handed me the camera, while he picked up the two photo’s and took a closer look at them.

“When did you get this?” I asked, examining the trendy looking camera.

“Jameh didn’t want it, so he gave it to Miles, whom also didn’t want it so ‘e gave it to me, figuring I’d put it to good use.” He explained, like I knew who the fuck this “Jameh” was.

“Yeah? Cause taking random pictures of me when I’m half asleep is putting it to good use, right?” I said, putting the camera up to my eye and aiming it at Alex, snapping a picture of him looking very confused, with his greasy hair and his light blue t-shirt.  
I looked at the photo when it came out and giggled, “I’m so keeping this one.”

I set the camera on the bed next to me and looked up at him, as he sat on the edge of the bed, setting the photos down on the nightstand.

“Well, this is so when you decide to leave me, I’ll have photos of your gorgeous face.”  
“You’re dumb.” I said, grabbing him by the shirt collar and giving him a light peck on the lips, cause god forbid I kiss him with horrible morning breath.

“I’m just taking precautions, love.” He smiled, getting up and going to the bathroom.  
I looked down at the photo and stuck in under my pillow for safe keeping, then got up, going to the bathroom, where he was washing his hands in the other sink with a raised eyebrow toward me.

I tiptoed to him and kissed him on the cheek before turning on the tap and washing my face and brushing my teeth so I could give him a proper kiss.

While he stood against the wall, watching me with an adoring smile on his face.  
I turned and grabbed a towel off the rack and dried my face, but he was still looking at me like a total weirdo.

“What?” I asked.

“I’m just- you make me happy, is all.”

“Alex-“

He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me in to him, smothering my lips with his. “I just ‘ave to look at you and remind meself of how lucky I am to ‘ave you.”

I playfully hit his chest, “Oh, shut up!”

“What’s with American’s not taking compliments?!” He shouted, laughing.

I shrugged, “What are you making me for breakfast?”

“Anythin’ you want. But remember we ‘ave to be ready by six so we can go to that party at the flat the boys rented out.”

“At six? What time is it now?” I asked, cocking my head to the side.

“Three summat.”

“IN THE AFTERNOON?!” I yelled.

He nodded like it was no big deal.

“Why didn’t you wake me earlier?”“I dunno. You looked really content with being asleep.”

I rolled my eyes and went over to the shower, turning it on to get a good steam going.

“Okay, well I guess I’ll start getting ready.”

He nodded and kissed me again, pulling back and kissing my forehead, “Ugh, you’re too gorgeous.”

“You’re just a ball of mush today, aren’t you?” I asked, kissing him.

He shyly looked away with a slight blush as he ruffled his hair. “I mean, you said you loved me. I’m on cloud nine right now, love.”

“Don’t fuck it up, then.” I joked and kicked him out of the bathroom so I could shower.

“I wouldn’t dream of it!” He shouted as I closed the door.

About an hour or so later, I had showered and done my hair and I needed to do was put on my face. So I sat on the floor with my makeup scattered around me, looking at my reflection in front of his full-length mirror, putting on my deer red lipstick. And with any lip color, it took massive amounts of precision.

He walked in to the bedroom, looking much cleaner with his fluffy hair that he wanted to slick back but I told him it made him look older so he left it as it was, and his white t-shirt he’d be wearing a long with his leather jacket. The only thing missing were his jeans, since he hadn’t decided which ones he wanted to wear, he walked around in his tight little boxer briefs.

“That’s a rather dark color.” He pointed out watching me apply the color.

I looked at him through the mirror and raised a perfectly colored in eyebrow, “You don’t like it?”

He shook his head, “No, I love it.”

I stood to my feet, putting the lipstick in to my makeup bag and tuned to him with a sweet smile, because what I was about to do to him wouldn’t be very sweet.  
But I needed to see my lips printed on him.

I placed my hands on his chest as he watched me with half lidded eyes. I stood on my toes and gave him a kiss on the cheek leaving a pair of pouty lips on his creamy smooth skin. I moved and hovered over his lips like I was going to kiss him but moved away, kissing his neck and getting a whimper out of him.

I kissed the skin below his jawline, and his throat and felt the vibrations of his moan on my lips.

I slowly started moving him back and managed to push him on to the bed, where he lay with a sleazy look on his face as I climbed on top of him, making sure my core was right over his growing bulge.

I did a mini grind on him as he let out a hasp and my hands grabbed the hem of his shirt, making him sit up as I pulled the shirt off and on to the floor.

“F’ock, when did you get so aggressive?” He asked as I kissed down his chest purposely leaving pretty pouts on him. No smeared lips were allowed on his skin. He was my own work of art.

“Are you complaining?” I asked, palming at his erection through his boxers.  
His mouth fell open and his eyes rolled back as his hips pushed up to meet my hand. What an eager boy.

“N-no.” He stuttered as my movements got quicker.

I pulled my hand away causing him to whine in response. I laughed and pulled my shirt over my head, unclasping my bra and throwing it on the floor, then I stood and hovered over him, dropping my shorts off and lucky for him, I wasn’t wearing any panties.

I loved the way he was watching me with lust filled eyes and parted lips. He was at my mercy and everything about that turned me on. And the fact that he was being so good, was going to get him a reward.

He let out a shaky breath, “Oh, fuuuuuuuuck”

I got back down on the bed, scooting back a bit and kissing his member through the fabric, then pulling his boxers down completely causing him to sigh.

I licked my lips and grabbed him, licking him all the way from the very base to the tip where I swirled my tongue and sucked on the head, all while not losing eye contact with him.

His hand slipped in to my hair, wanting me to take him in completely but I couldn’t ruin my hard work on my lip color, so I grabbed his hand and pulled it away, shaking my head and sitting up on him, grinding my wetness over him.

He let out a beautiful moan and grabbed my face, “All because of that pretty colour, hm?”

Our faces got closer and closer as his thumb roughly wiped at my lips, smearing the color. “Wouldn’t want to ruin tha, would we?” He asked with a smug tone, kissing me open mouthed, sloppy, his tongue darting in to my mouth, his hand holding on to my jaw while I continued to grind on him, not letting him win by not giving him what he wanted.

But soon enough, I slid and he pushed himself right in, causing me to moan out in pleasure, my hands gripping the bed sheets as hard as they could.

He let my lips go and grabbed my hands, setting them behind my back as my chest slammed in to his, and his grip on my hands got tighter and his thrusts got harder and faster.

“Oh, Alex!” I moaned, pressing my face in to his neck, my hair falling in to my eyes as he bit down on my shoulder.

“You think you can tease me?” He asked, his voice now low and the hottest thing I’d heard. He pulled out slowly and thrust in equally as slow, torturing me.

“Answer me.”

I shook my head, biting my lip to keep from crying out as he began pounding in to me again, making sure to keep my wrists tight in his hand as he grabbed my hip with the other. “Good girl. Now, are you going to play nice? Teasing your boyfriend isn’t very nice of you.” He said as I felt his hand smack down on my ass with a loud smack.

I gasped and nodded.

Another loud smack.

“With words, love.”

I was too busy moaning as he was hitting all the right places but he smacked my ass a few more times, before it began to sting and I caved.

“YES! YES! I’ll play nice!”

He kissed my forehead and let go of my wrists, pushing me up so I could ride him and he sure loved to watch me ride him.

I moved my hips up and down on his length and felt the knot start to build up.

“Fuck, Alex, I’m going to come!” I moaned, not stopping my movements, but throwing my head back when I felt his thumb start to play with me. I closed my eyes, as he threw me right over the edge. I was in euphoria and that was the best orgasm I’d had.

“How are you going to take it, love?” He asked, with a very thick husky voice.

I snapped my eyes open and knew exactly what he was asking, so I rode him until he was close and hopped off, scooting out, and pumping him with my hand till he grabbed me by the hair and spilled his load in to my mouth.

I swallowed it all, and sat back down on him, enjoying the view of him being completely naked, with a hand in his hair, his eyes closed, and his chest littered in kisses.

I grabbed the camera off the nightstand and stood over him, snapping a picture of him and waiting for it to come out.

I’d caught him from his head down to where I’d been but it got cut off when it came to those gorgeous v lines of his.

“You gonna keep that?” He asked with a warm smile.

I nodded and lay next to him, placing the camera on the nightstand again along with the photo.

He turned to me and said, “You may want to fix your lip color, love. It’s a tad smeared.”

He kissed my cheek and hopped off the bed with a smug smile on his face as he picked his boxers up from the ground, slipping them on, walking over to my side of the bed and grabbing the photo I’d just taken from the nightstand. At first I freaked out because I thought he’d throw it away or rip it up, but instead, grabbed a sharpie from the nightstand and began to scribble something on the white area.

“Are you giving me your autograph?” I joked, laughing at my own joke like a dumbass.

He turned to me with an annoyed expression, “HA HA. No.” He sarcastically laughed, and walked to my favorite hoodie, placing the photo in the pocket.

“So you’ll always have me with you.”


	13. Bathroom Funzies

I was so wasted but I didn’t want to admit that to myself cause that meant that I’d actually drank myself to oblivion because I felt so uncomfortable at this party with Alex and all his celebrity friends.

It’s not that they weren’t nice, or they were assholes, it’s just that I felt like I didn’t fit in here. I was just a pebble amongst diamonds.

I sat on a couch with Alex as he chatted with his band mates who I’d met earlier. 

They all had that same accent and one of them in particular had a way thicker accent. I kept having to ask Alex to interpret cause his friend spoke so fast.

They were all pretty nice, though. They weren’t quite as chatty with me as Miles was but what did I expect? They probably only saw me as Alex’s current girlfriend that probably wouldn’t last.

I kind of just continued sipping from my vodka soda through a very thin black straw that made tongue hurt. Were these straws meant to be used for drinking, or were they just a decoration?

All my drinking had gotten to me so I leaned in to him, accidentally hitting his ear with my nose as I told him I’d be hitting the ladies room.

He turned to me and nodded with a concerned smile, “want me to go with you?”

I shook my head, “I’ll be fine.” I answered and stood to my feet, my legs feeling like noodles as I slowly made my way across the room, in to the hallway filled with people and to the other hallway where the bathroom was.

I hung on to the wall as I walked cause frankly, everything was spinning and I wasn’t sure if I was going to fall at any moment. Maybe I shouldn’t have drunk so much.

I finally reached the bathroom and did my business, leaving my jeans unbuttoned while I washed my hands because I couldn’t get the button in to the hole.

I dried my hands on my jeans as I attempted to button them again but my hands and eyes weren’t cooperating.

“Fuck” I whispered, leaning against the wall behind me, only miscalculating how close I was to it and falling on my side with a loud thud.

“Ow” I whined, looking back and realizing I missed the edge of the tub by like two inches. I sighed and made no attempt to get on my feet. I lay there thinking about how I wanted to go back to Alex’s place and just have a night in. Since I arrived in New York we’d had things to attend and places to be and I just needed a break. He might be used to that, but I sure as fuck wasn’t.

I heard a knock at the door and I attempted to get up but my hipbone was starting to hurt every time I tried to move. I felt like I needed to be in one of those Life Alert commercials, only I wasn’t in my seventy’s.

“Uh, ocupado!” I shouted, my voice not sounding like my own.

“Shayleh?” I heard Alex say as he opened the door and rushed to me, the door closing behind him.

“Are you okay?” He asked, pulling my up to my feet and leaning me up against the wall, his eyes full of concern.

He checked my face and then when he looked down he slowly lifted my shirt up a bit, revealing my very irritated hipbone that caught the fall.

“Darling, how’d you fall?” He asked, squatting down in front of me.

I squinted my eyes at him, “uh, I couldn’t button my jeans.” I slurred.

He sort of smiled, but didn’t laugh as he buttoned them for me. “Me following you in ‘ere were a good idea, then, weren’t it?”

I watched as he inspected my bruising hip and all I could think of was grabbing him by that dark hair and violating his mouth with mine.

Fuck

I was drunk.

”You’re going to be pretty bruised, love.” He said, standing back up but not before planting a very gentle kiss on the bruise that would soon form, causing a surge of chills to go down my spine.

Through my squinted, blurry eyes I could see him pulling my shirt down and looking at me, confusion in his face.

“That look you’re giving me is trouble.” He whispered, trying to hide the smirk that wanted to come out and play.

I slowly shook my head, giving him probably the sleaziest smile. My fingers making their way to his belt loops, pulling him in to me, his face a few inches away from mine.

“Shayley-“

I licked my lips, before pulling him close to me, my lips smashing in to his.

And oh god, nothing felt more perfect than he did at that exact moment.

He pulled back with a smirk, “Oh, that’s what you want, reyt?”

He grabbed my face with one hand and kissed me so hard that if I wouldn’t have been pinned up against him, I would’ve lost my balance and fallen on my ass again.  
His lips danced with mine in perfect synchrony and I couldn’t help but pull his hips in to mine, a groan escaping his lips as he bit down on my lip making me whine in pain.

"We are at a party. I can’t possibly make you mine right now.”

“You could.” I answered, my hands making their way down to his jeans, rubbing him through the fabric of his tight dark jeans.

“Babeh, no.” I he breathed out in a moan as he pressed his forehead on my shoulder, falling weak to me.

It was cute how he was putting up a little fight, but we both knew it was a fight he wouldn’t win.

“Just a quickie?” I pouted, continuing to run my hand over his growing member, slowly kissing his neck, nipping at the skin under his jaw. He took a deep breath and snapped. His unsteady hands unbuttoned my jeans, pulling them down and off of me, then undoing his, as I dropped to my knees in front of him, eyeing what was about to be mine.

He looked down at me and buried his fingers in to my hair, grabbing at it and guiding me to him. I gave him a few small licks before I took him all inside my mouth, looking up at him and his beautiful face of pleasure.

He began to move my head to the speed he wanted but I quickly pulled back, when I felt his hand start to grab harder at my hair.

I looked up at him with sad puppy eyes and he got the hint. He grabbed a condom from his wallet, putting it on and picking me up, lifting me up against the wall, my legs around his hips and pushing himself inside me.

“Oh, god” I moaned, louder than I intended.

He covered my mouth with his hand, delving deeper in to me. ”If we’re going to do this, I need you to be quiet, alreyt?”

I nodded, as he moved his hand but increased his speed, digging his very short nails in to my hips. I bit down on my lip, trying to stifle any moans that tried to make their way out of me but I just couldn’t help it. I let out a string of moans and profanities as he pleasured me to no end.

He chuckled at how hard it was to contain myself and covered my mouth again, thrusting in to me so fast and hard I could feel it building inside of me.

“Come on, we ‘avent got much time.” He groaned in to my neck.

And his words were enough to send me over as I basically screamed in to his hand while he finished too.

For a moment he held still removing his hand from my mouth and pressing his lips to my collarbone, catching his breath. The gentlest kisses being pressed up against my neck, all the way up to my lips, where he kissed me with so much passion, that a wave of butterflies flew around in my stomach.

He pulled out and set me down to get dressed as he discarded of the condom and began to pull his jeans up.

My legs felt like jello and I was still drunk so I kept loosing my balance, trying to put my legs in to my jeans.

“Here, love.” He said, coming to me and putting my feet in to the jeans, pulling them up my legs but leaving kisses on my skin before he pulled them completely up. He finally buttoned them again, this time for good and smiled at me.

He pulled me to the counter and set me down on top of it, noticing my struggle to remain on my feet.

“Are you alreyt to go back in?” He asked, rubbing my arms up and down.

I slowly shook my head, “Alex, I’m kind of ready to hit the hay. I’m tired.” I said quietly, feeling bad for raining on his parade. I didn’t want to see his look of disappointment so I looked down at my feet that hung freely on other side of him, wanting to lie down on the floor and fall asleep right then and there.

“Let’s go ‘ome, then.” He tilted my face up and kissed me, his concerned expression coming back.

“Why didn’t you tell me you wanted to leave?”

“I didn’t want to ruin your fun” I said, squinting my eyes at him.

“You are my fun, never will you ruin anything for me, love. Don’t be dumb.”

I snaked my arms around him, burying my face in to the crook of his neck as he held me against him, his fingers slowly caressing my back trough my shirt.

“You mean the world to me, you know that?” He said, kissing the top of my head.

“Do I?” I asked, not moving from my spot on the crook of his neck.

I felt him nod. “Yes, you are the single most important person to me. You are my number one.”

God, this moment was perfect. I wished he could hold me like this for the rest of my days, whispering sweet words in my ear. But that soon came to an end when there was a knock at the door and Alex slightly pulled back, looking at me, with that mischievous smirk of his.

“Come on” He laced fingers with mine and I hopped off the counter, following him as he led me out of the bathroom like two unruly, sloppy teenager that just indulged in some extra curricular activities in the school gymnasium.

We said our goodbyes to the guys and made our way to the front door. Alex reached out for the knob when it turned on its’ own and opened.

I had been looking down at my phone, my hand in his, but it was strange when I felt him not moving so I looked up and found him frozen, staring at a girl in front of him equally as shocked to see him.

I figured it was a surprised fan, so I nudged him and luckily that snapped him out of it.

“H-hi.” He stuttered, as the girl smiled at him with a quiet “hey, you.”

She was particularly pretty, with nice brown hair and a very slim tall body, like a model. One of his model friends, perhaps.

“How’ve you been? I haven’t seen you in ages.” She beamed, looking at him like he was her long lost love.

“I’ve been the best ever, actually. Tour, the band, it’s all been great. Oh, um, this is my girlfriend, Shayley.” He introduced, pulling me up in front of him, his hands were shaking slightly, and I was confused but attempted to come off friendly anyway.

She looked at me with not the friendliest of eyes, but forced a smile. “I’m Arielle, pleasure.”

I smiled, “Nice to meet you.”

“Um, Arielle is an old friend.” He said, his hands digging in to my arms.

She sort of rolled her eyes and said, “It was great seeing you, Al. Nice meeting you. I’ll see you around” and walked past us, her shoulder slightly bumping in to mine as he exhaled a breath he’d probably been holding.

Did she bump in to me on purpose or was that just an accident? Did she not like me? Wait, why should I care? I didn’t even know who she was.

I led him out of the apartment but he was in his own world. He was quiet and slow, and I didn’t know what to do other than stop walking and push him up against the wall.

“Alex?”

He looked at me and held my face in his hands, with a grin on his face. “You’re beautiful.”

I smiled but wanted to know more. “Who is she?”

He scratched the back of his head and squinted. “You want to know?”  
I nodded, holding his hands in mine.

“Okay, well she’s me ex girlfriend.”

I didn’t feel threatened.

She was an ex for a reason.

“How long did you date? Did it end on good terms?”

He laughed and looked at me with those eyes, those gorgeous eyes.

“For about two years? And erm, I guess we ended on good terms? I’m not really sure. I’m moved away and it made the breakup a whole lot easier on me.” He explained, his hand lying on my hip, caressing slowly.

“You don’t still-”

He grabbed my face and kissed me tenderly, his lips tasting of alcohol. ”No. It’s just you. I was just surprised to see ‘er, is all.”

I kissed him again and bit his lip, pulling it back in to my mouth as he laughed.

“You’re quite aggressive today, aren’t ya?”

“Come on, lover boy. Let’s go home.”


	14. Do Me a Favour

I woke up to the most intense silence I'd been in for months; it was almost strange how quiet the place was. I sat up and looked around the room and there was no sign of Alex anywhere. 

I slowly got up from the bed, feeling the pounding headache coming on as I slowly made my way out in to the kitchen where there was still no sign of Alex. Where the hell was he?

I took some pain meds and went back to the bedroom, fishing my phone out from under the sheets, checking for a text of a missed call. Nothing, not even a note.

I dialed his number and on the first ring, it went straight to voicemail.

Odd, I thought. But dialed again and sure enough, same thing. He was having my call go straight to voicemail. I put my phone down on the bed, puzzled by what the fuck that even meant but I got up and took a shower to get ready for the day. 

Three hours later, while I sat on the computer in bed, Alex casually strolled in to the bedroom almost stumbling over his own feet when he saw me. 

"Hey, where were you?" I asked, cocking my head to the side a little noticing something was off. 

"Out." He simply put it as he took off his jacket and threw it on the bed. 

"Where'd you go?" I prodded, confused by his sudden coldness towards me.

"Does it matter?" He snapped, turning to me with a very intense expression I hadn't seen from him before. 

I furrowed my brows, "Um, well, I called you and you sent it to voicemail." I explained, caution in my voice. 

"Sorry, I was busy."

I blankly stared at him and finally let my voice rise, as it'd been wanting to. "Do you want to tell me what's going on? You're being an ass."

"Nothing's going on, Shayley. Don't worry about it." He said, standing his ground, but god, I knew something was up. 

"Really? Cause I woke up to an empty place, I call to make sure you're okay and you send me to voicemail. You never do that, Al."  
He scratched the back of his head and muttered, "There's a first time for everything, isn’t there?”

And that's when I'd reached my limit. I snapped my laptop shut and stood to my feet, grabbing my bag and walking past him. 

"Where are you going?" He asked, grabbing my arm.

"Does it matter?" I mocked his earlier tone, pulling away from his grip and getting around him as he followed me to the door.

"What- what are you doing?" He asked, as I reached for the door, only to have him slam it closed.

"I don’t need to be around someone treating me like shit. Why the sudden change, Al? " 

“What change? Because I drastically changed overnight?” He said with a certain mocking tone that made me want to slap him across the face. I opened the door again, and he shut it as quick as he could.

"Alex, stop." I threatened.

He took a deep breath and held my face in his big, rough hands, "Shayley, I'm sorry. Alreyt? Don’t leave."

I looked at him and shook my head.

"Do me a favor and stay. Let's not argue over petty things."

I frowned, "fuck off."

I opened the door, managing to step out but only to be pulled back by him and having his lips attack mine. What the fuck was up with him?

"Don't, okay? I just- I need to be around you. I need to be with you." 

His lips just felt different. They felt as if they weren't in synch with mine and I wasn't sure how to feel. Something was wrong but I couldn’t pin point it.

"I'm going to take a walk" I told him walking out, not knowing exactly where I was going but, I guess I’d figure it out soon enough.

I made it outside and walked until I saw a Starbucks in the distance and felt like that would be a safe place for me to be at until I decided to go back and phase this person I called my boyfriend.  
I ordered my coffee and took a seat in the back of the very small coffee house and stared out the window, with my phone in hand, wondering whether I should call Dylan or not. 

All I wanted were answers. Why was Alex treating me like I was no one to him all of a sudden? Why did he ignore my calls, why was he being so cold? It just didn’t make sense in my head. Just yesterday we were fine, more than fine. We had been doing so well, I finally told him I loved him and it felt like it was all slipping from my grasp.

I could feel the slight sting in my eyes and I just sniffled the few tears away and took a sip from my coffee, burning the tip of my tongue and regretting ordering a hot drink, much like I was starting to regret everything with Alex.

By the time I got back, I had decided to put all of it behind and pretend it didn't happen. All he told me was to get ready for a party Miles was throwing on the upper floor of the condos. 

I did my best to make myself look happy with the wondrous makeup I'd bought and a pretty all black ensemble of leather skinnies, black shirt and a black leather jacket and it kind of mimicked Alex's clothes as well, only I went for some black stiletto pumps that made me two inches taller, at least. 

I stepped out in to the living room, checking my phone as I heard Alex go, "whoa".

I looked up at him and found him basically gawking at me from the couch. He stood and came to me, “you look beautiful." 

I forced a smile and didn’t quite look him in the eyes, "Thank you." 

"Ready?" 

I nodded and we made our way to Miles' party. 

The night had kicked off to a good start, only I ended up hanging out with Miles while Alex made the rounds of greeting people.

Miles looked quite fancy with his always expensive suits that fit him like a glove. “You look so handsome, Miles. Wow!” I said, as we sat at the stools by the bar he’d set up, that had an actual bartender. 

Oh, how the other side lives.

He looked down at his outfit with a gleeful smile, “You think so? It took me only three hours to pick this out. I ‘ad a lot of contenders for tonight’s wardrobe.”

I laughed, and took the last sip of my drink, “Yes, you look rad.”

"How'd Al pick up a bird like you, Shayley?! You are a charmer." He asked me, as I smiled like a dumbass. "He's a total dickhead, so he must've done something right." He laughed. 

"Oh, Miles, I’m going to miss you the most when I go back home. You’ve been so good to me", I said over the music as he handed me another drink from the bar to replace the one I’d finished.

I took a sip and thank fucking god it wasn't whiskey and coke. I was so tired of whiskey. I was tired of whiskey and cigarettes and leather and everything. I felt exhausted. 

"This tastes so awesome, what is it?" I asked.

He shrugged and took off his sunglasses, "I've no idea, but it's good, yeah? Miles made a good choice."

He held out his hand for a high five to which I clapped my hand on to his with a laugh. "You did good!" 

I looked around and couldn't help but notice Alex was deep in conversation with a girl, a very familiar girl, the one from last night to be exact.

"Miles?" I asked, not tearing my eyes away from Alex. 

"Yes, love?" He very sweetly answered, after taking a shot of tequila.

“Should I be worried?" 

“About what?” He asked, his face full of concern. He followed my gaze, over to his best friend and Arielle. He opened his mouth to speak but looked a little surprised, and nothing came out.

Just the way Alex was looking at her was how he looked at me up until today, and my heart shattered when she reached up to his cheek and he leaned in to her touch.  
What the fuck was going on?

I set down my glass on the counter and looked at miles. "Um, I'm going to go." 

"No- no, uh. I'll get him" Miles stuttered walking towards Alex muttering curse words to his best friend. 

I headed toward the door, opening it and getting probably two feet away when I felt a hand grab my arm. 

"Where are you going?" Alex asked, and the innocence in his face was unbearable. 

"I'm- um, I need some fresh air, Alex." I lied, unsure of why I'd lied. I should be grabbing a drink from the bar and throwing it in his face.

"Can I come?" 

I shook my head. "It's okay."

"Shayley, what's going on?" He asked, with an unsure expression.

"I could ask you the same thing. I just need to not be around you right now."  
I said, calmly and tried to walk past him as he grabbed me again, only to have Miles pull him away. 

"Al, let her go." Miles said to him. 

I looked at Miles and mouthed a thank you, and made my way back to Alex's place.  
I could hear Alex arguing with his best friend but I didn't care. I needed to get the fuck out of there before I did something I would regret. 

I opened the door and slowly walked to the couch, laying down and curling in to a ball, not even bothering to take off my shoes. I felt drained but I wasn't going to cry, definitely not over a dickhead like him. 

A few hours went by and finally the front door opened revealing a very confusing scene. 

Both Alex and Miles looked like they'd gotten in to a fight. Alex had a bruised cheekbone and a bleeding lip, while Miles had a bloody nose and a bruised eye, both had bloody, bruised knuckles. 

I sat up from the couch and watched Miles sit a very drunk Alex on the couch. 

"What happened?" I asked, trying not to let my concern show.

"Erm, we sort o' got in a fist fight, uh, nothing to worry 'bout." Miles tried to make it sound like it wasn't a big deal but I couldn't help but ask who exactly they got in a fight with. 

"Who did this to you two?" 

"Uh, that's the slightly humorous part, Alex took a swing at me, and uh, yeah, that's why we're 'ere now."

"What the hell?! Why did you two fight?!" I yelled in confusion. God, this day just kept getting more and more fucked up.

"I'll let 'im explain that part to you. I'm going to take off. Me number is in Al's phone, call me if you need anything, love." He said with a smile and left the apartment, knowing well that something was about to happen.

"Alex?" I asked. As I stared at the man I’d fallen for, but saw someone completely different looking back at me, through glassy, bloodshot eyes.

“I can’t talk to you right now.”


	15. One Mistake

He had stood from the couch and walked in to the bedroom, stumbling over his feet.

"You can't talk to me? I should be saying that to you considering that you were flirting it up with your ex-girlfriend in front of me." I said, following him in to the bedroom. 

"I weren't ‘flirting it up’" He mocked in a very monotone voice. "I were talking to 'er. You're the one who decided not to stick around with me long enough to show you off to that room full of people."

"Alex, honestly? As soon as you got there, you left me with Miles while you went and talked to her. I bet that's who you were with this morning when you blatantly ignored my calls." I argued, feeling my blood boil through my skin.

And when I said that, I didn't expect it to be true. He wouldn't do that, would he?

He stopped in his tracks and turned to me. "And what gives you that idea?"

And by his tone of voice, I could tell that's exactly what had happened. For a moment I stood there staring at him, trying to figure out why the fuck he would go see his ex. I was trying to think of excuses to forgive him. 

"God, you're such an ass, Alex. You couldn't have waited till I left to cheat on me?" I yelled, walking out of the bedroom and grabbing all my shit together. I was getting the fuck out of New York. 

I felt the sudden rush of cool air hit me as he grabbed my arm pulling me back. "Are you serious? I didn't cheat on you."

I pulled my arm back so hard, I lost my balance in my stilettos, having to grab on to one of the stools behind me. "Prove it, Alex. Fucking promise me you didn't!" I yelled, feeling my emotions take over. 

He stared at me with a very intense glare and I could tell he couldn't bring himself to promise anything, he seemed to be having enough trouble keeping his secret as it is, so he grabbed me and kissed me hard. 

I pulled back and slapped him across the face as hard as I could, the noise alone sounded painful. "Don't you fucking dare!”

He grabbed me by the wrists and shook me as he pulled me close in to him. "I fucking shagged her, alright?! Is that what you want to hear from me?." He yelled, his voice full of rage and sadness. “It felt f’ocking great.”  
I stared at him, in complete shock as the tears silently fell from my eyes. I struggled against him and punched his chest as he struggled to keep me in his grip, my heart in pieces and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Air was escaping me and I couldn’t do anything about it. 

"Why?" Was all I could manage to get out, through the tears that spilled out of my eyes and the sobs that were building up.

"Because for a moment I thought I loved her."

Finally, I was able to free myself and as he was coming at me again, I grabbed a vase off the counter and threw it at him, flowers and all, shattering it at his feet.

"Are you fucking serious, Shayley?" 

"I'm done with you. Get the fuck away from me!" I yelled through the bitter tears I didn't want to cry. 

"You're done with me? One mistake and you're done with me?!" He said, coming toward me again as I backed myself up in to the wall, sobbing uncontrollably, feeling my heart break as he slammed his hand in to the mirror next to me, completely shattering it. 

I flinched and watched the glass fall, glass and blood. I slightly turned to his hand and watched the blood trickle down his wrist. 

“Not answering my call was one mistake. Fucking someone else is beyond that, Alex.” I tried to push past him but to no avail. 

"Please, don't. I love you, I love you." He said kissing my face gently and I could feel the dry blood on his lip scrape at my cheeks.

I couldn't look at him; all I wanted to do was hit him. Hit him till he hurt as much as I did.

I felt him relax and I knew it was my time to make a run for it. I punched him in the stomach and tried to duck under his arms only have him grab me by the wrists, and push me back, a squeal escaping my lips as my back made hard contact with the wall. 

We spent a good minute of me fighting him and losing. 

"Get away from me." I threatened, but the crack in my voice announced defeat as I continued hitting him on the chest but he didn't back off, only grabbed my wrists mid swing. 

"You can hit me all you want but I'm not leaving." 

I looked away only to have him grab my face and kiss me again. He placed his forehead on mine and with his bloody hand, reached over and caressed my cheek. 

I looked in to his eyes and I saw confusion. 

"I didn't mean to do any of this to you. You weren’t supposed to find out. That weren’t supposed to happen. Do you know how awful I’ve felt all f’ocking day because of it? I messed up."

I couldn't stand to look at him; my eyes adverted to the ground as he made me look him in the eyes. 

"Let me fix this" He begged, his eyes welling up with tears.

"You can't fix it, you can't do anything." I cried, finally getting away from him and going to the counter, resting my hands on it and breathing heavily, trying not to sob. I ran my fingers through my tangled hair in frustration.

"Shay-"

"Stop talking. I don't want to hear you. You fucking lied to me and cheated on me and-" I stopped, taking a breath as he came towards me, grabbing my face and clashing lips with mine. 

Those kisses felt sinful, felt wrong but so right at the same time.

He walked me out and pushed me against the wall again, my hands resting on his chest, gripping tight on to his shirt. I couldn't help but return the kiss, letting him take me over, because I was too weak to fight him. 

He kissed my cheeks, my nose, my forehead, my neck, whispering how he loved me and I let myself give in to him. 

He walked me in to the bedroom, his lips never leaving mine as he lay me down, crawling on top of me and removing my shirt. 

I ran my fingers through his hair and let him gently bite at my neck, leaving marks behind to make sure everyone knew I was his, but those marks meant nothing. None of this meant anything anymore. This whole fucking relationship was fucked up and down the drain.

I was turned on beyond belief because it was him, it was him kissing and touching me, but my emotions were somewhere else. My eyes continued to spring out tears as he wiped them away with his thumbs. 

"Don't cry, love. Please don't." 

But I couldn't help it. I was heartbroken. 

As the clothes got ripped off, my emotions began to subside a bit allowing him to make love to me and for me to somewhat enjoy it. 

He was so gentle with me, so slow and gentle that it almost made me cry again, but at the same time he was firm. He marked my neck, and my collarbones and dug his fingers in to my skin, like he didn't want to ever let go, while I barely touched him, I kissed him but it felt empty. I raked my fingers through his hair in aggression to how much I wanted him and how I loathed him. 

When we were done, he lay next to me and I turned on my side, my back to him as he tried to hold me but I just couldn't handle it. 

"You're leaving me, aren't you?" He quietly asked, his voice cracking and making my heart shatter.


	16. Roadside Assistance

I woke up with the most pounding headache, and heavy eyes. I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed, or even move. I wasn't sure if Alex was in the room with me, but the longer I stayed still, the longer I could avoid him. The longer I kept myself in my little cave of blankets, the longer I could avoid what had actually happened.

I slowly pulled the covers over my head and buried my face in to my pillow.  
The aching in my heart was still there, and I couldn't react to any emotion other than sadness, but I was all out of tears, or at least that’s what it felt like. It felt like my body had shut down and refused to produce any more tears, not that I minded that. 

I moved the covers from my face because it was getting too hot under there and found myself face to face with the man that broke me.

There he was, his sad eyes burning holes in to me. How long had he been looking at me? How long had he been awake? Was he going through the events over and over again in his head as I was? 

I didn't want to be near him but I couldn't tear my eyes off him. I studied his face, trying to find the man I fell in love with but all I saw was a shattered Alex. But he couldn’t possibly be as shattered as I was.

He slowly licked his swollen bottom lip and spoke, "I'm sorry," His voice cracked. 

I didn't say anything, just continued to look at him, expressionless.

"You said my name, in yer sleep." He went on after I didn't answer him. "I'm an idiot, love."

I could feel my eyes sting with the need to release everything inside me but I did my best to push them back. I refused to break in front of him anymore; I couldn’t handle being the weak one.

He held out his hand and caressed my cheek with his thumb. "You look beautiful, even with your makeup all smeared," He whispered, trying his hardest to not fuck up and I could see it. 

I finally closed my eyes, trying not to give in, because in all honesty, if it were up to my heart I would have forgiven him.

"I don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry." 

I nodded and slowly sat up, bringing the covers up to my chest and burying my face in my hands. I couldn't wrap my mind around what had happened. How could he have cheated on me after spilling his “heart” out and telling me he loved me. 

"Shayley?"

I moved my hands and turned to him, his bruised cheekbone looked awfully dark in color this morning. It seemed pretty painful.

He deserved it, I thought to myself.

"I didn't mean to get so violent last night, I didn’t mean for any of this. I’m so sorry.” 

I looked away for a moment and my heart sank at the thought that I’d have to attend an event we both signed up for tonight. An event where I would probably have to show up with him and look happy because if the press were to notice we arrived separately, they would start speculating and I was really not up for having the press pick me apart again.

"Alex, just stop talking." I snapped, tired of his empty apologies. 

"I need you to know ‘ow sorry I am. I need you to know ‘ow f’ocking sorry I am that I f'ocked things up for us. I can’t live with the thought of you thinking I don’t love you."

My head snapped towards him so fast, I felt dizzy. "You love me so much that you cheated on me? Alex, honestly." 

"I f’ocked up. I ‘ad a moment of weakness and I just- please." He begged.

"So, every time you have a moment of weakness I run the risk of getting my heart broken?" I almost shouted, not understanding how he was making it seem like it was no big deal, like people go sleep with their ex’s because it’s so normal.

"It won't ‘appen again, love. I promise you." He begged as I got out of bed and looked at him sitting there with his sad eyes. 

I shook my head. "We're going to this event tonight because we had already agreed but after today you and I are over. I don't want to see you again."

I walked out of the room and went on with my day like I didn't even know him. 

This event was going to be such a drag. 

When the time came, I dressed down for the event in all black jeans and a black shirt with a mini leather jacket and some pointy combat boots.  
As we were being driven to the club this would be taking place, Alex looked at me and placed his hand on my leg.

My eyes scanned his hand and I looked at him in confusion. 

"Don't leave me." He whispered. 

I rolled my eyes and pushed his hand off me as we pulled in to the lot of the club.  
Sure enough, photographers were lined up and he got out of the car first, coming around to open my door. 

He held out his hand, which I hesitantly took but smiled like I was happy to there with him. 

We made our rounds talking to important people and an hour later I found myself on the roof top area of the club, siting in a bench, drinking myself in to a coma. Luckily the few people that were there wouldn't even notice me cause they were too busy fucking each other to know I was there. 

I held my drink in my hand and shuddered at the cold wind hitting my arms but kept my eyes on the beautiful skylights of the buildings around me. How could such a beautiful city hold my heartache?

I sighed and thought about how this trip had turned in to a disaster. How did I honestly think he was with me for good, because he wanted me? But why would anyone cheat? I'd been cheated on before and it still stung and it stung more when it was someone I didn’t see as the cheating type. I just didn’t see this coming at all, and maybe that was my fault.

Everything was numb and I felt like I wasn't sure what to do. I knew I should leave, I knew I should immediately stop caring about him, but he won me over so fast. And that's probably why things had gotten here. 

I felt someone sit next to me and say "Hiya."

I turned and saw Miles smiling at me, as he lit up a cigarette.

"Hi." I said, turning back to the horizon ahead of me, hoping that didn’t come off as rude, but I honestly didn’t feel like talking to anyone.

"Al is looking for you."

"So he sent you to get me?" I asked, with a sarcastic laugh. 

He shook his head. "No, I volunteered to come find you. I know you're not ‘aving a good time, love. I didn't want you to be by yourself." 

A weak smile crept on my lips as I turned to him, "That’s sweet, Miles but you can go back in. I’m okay.”

"You can't lie to me, I see it in your eyes.” He softly spoke, his free hand coming up to my cheek, gently caressing. “You’re ‘urt.” 

I nodded, and spoke, only to have my voice come as a whisper. "I just don't understand why this happened.”

His hand shifted from my face and held on to my hand, in reassurance as he gave me a half smile after he blew his smoke in the opposite direction. 

“Why did you fight him?” I asked, remembering how I never got an answer to that last night. Not that I got much of an opportunity to ask given the dramatics that went down.

He finished off his cigarette and threw it on the ground, stepping on it to put it out then looking out in to the lights with an expression I couldn’t quite read. He shrugged and seemed as if he was trying to find the right words. 

“’e were intoxicated, I saw ‘im about to snog ‘er and I knew what ‘e were up to, so I pulled ‘im off ‘er and tried to shout some sense in to ‘im, and ‘e swung at me and I let ‘im keep swinging till ‘e tired out.” He said with a very soft tone, “You don’t deserve what ‘e did to you and what makes me the angriest is that ‘e knew ‘e were f’ocking up. ‘e f’ocking knew and now that the damage is done, ‘e’s sorry for it but-“

“Sorry doesn’t even cover it.” I interrupted, shaking my head and lightly laughing at how Alex being sorry was supposed to make it better. I would never forgive him for doing this to me.

He gave my hand a squeeze and nodded, “I know. But ‘e’s a good guy, Shay. ‘e’s a good guy that did a stupid thing.”

I shook my head, “You don’t know what he said to me.”

Miles’ eyes sort of widened and I knew he was bracing himself for what his idiotic best friend said. 

“What’d ‘e say?”

I took a sip of my drink and looked down at the remaining liquid in my glass. “When he finally admitted to cheating he told me he “shagged her” and that “it felt fucking great”.”

Miles mouth dropped open as I ran a shaky hand through my hair. “I don’t know what I did to him to have him be so mean about it. He was acting as if I’d done something wrong.”

I could feel Miles looking at me as I began to process what he had just told me. I found it extremely upsetting how my boyfriend’s best friend cared more about me than my actual boyfriend. I just didn’t understand what I did to deserve such a massive stab in the back. What was he trying to prove?

I finished the rest of my drink and I could feel my head start spinning at the thought of all of this so I just shook it off and figured it was my time to go.

"Can you take me home?" I asked him. 

He sort of thought about it and nodded. "Sure, love. Let's go."

We stood and I set my cup in the trash on our way to the door but panicked at the thought of Alex seeing me on the way out. I reached out and grabbed his Miles’ arm, pulling him back. 

He furrowed his brows in confusion.

"You're not telling Alex, right?"

He shook his head with a slight smile. "No, love. Not if you don't want me to."

I smiled with gratitude and we made our way out of the club through the back alley to avoid photogs and Alex. I needed to make a quick getaway and I needed him to not be around me.  
The club we were at was a little far from Al's place but the entire ride I couldn't help the overwhelming emotions trying to pour out of me. I leaned my head on the window and closed my eyes in an attempt to stop the tears that were trying to fight their way out. 

I took a deep breath and felt Miles place his hand on my leg. 

"It's alright to cry." 

I shook my head and felt the awful need to vomit. I picked my head up and covered my mouth with my hand. 

"Miles, pull over." 

He didn't question it, just pulled over to the side of the road and I sprang out, pouring all the alcohol I'd drank back out. I heaved so much it brought me to the tears I was trying to avoid and my body gave out on me. 

I fell to the ground next to my vomit, crying my heart out as it hit me all at once.

I bet I looked awful laying on the side of the road, with my face pressed in to the freezing asphalt, while probably giving Kim Kardashian’s crying face a run for its’ money. 

Miles got out of the car and came over to me, didn't try to pick me up, just grabbed me and pulled me up enough in to his arms as I cried and he sat on the ground with me, rubbing my back and consoling me. 

“What did I do, Miles? What did I do wrong?” I cried, grasping on to his shirt, pressing my face in to his chest. With the few cars that passed by I could make out the emergency lights on his car through my glassy eyes. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong, love. Don’t you dare for a f’ocking minute think you did somethin’ to deserve that. ‘e f’ocked up on ‘is own. Please don’t feel like you ‘ad anythin’ to do with it.” 

“I j-just feel like I- maybe I pushed him to-“

Miles grabbed my face and made me look at him, “No, get that in to your ‘ead. You didn’t.” 

My eyes shifted away from his face, down to the ground as he wiped at my tears with his thumbs. 

After a few minutes of uncontrollable sobbing, I finally pulled myself together as he sympathetically continued to wipe at my mascara stained face. Miles had such a warm demeanor about him that I couldn't help but feel like it would all be okay. I appreciated him so much.

"I'm sorry." I apologized for breaking down on him. 

"It's alright, love. I rather you do it with me than by yourself." He said with that adorable accent of his and a little smile.

"Are you ready?" I sniffled and nodded as he helped me up to my feet, then back in to the car.

It was time to go home.


	17. Emotional Coma

I couldn't go home. 

I couldn't deal with the fact that Alex had been there and some of his belongings were still there. If I went home, I'd have to face the fact that I'd lost him completely and I'd have to stare at his things. I’d have to stare at that nasty leather jacket he forgot, at the comb he left in my bathroom, the bottles of whiskey he'd put on the kitchen counter, the packets of cigarettes he bought just in case he ran out, the lighters, the fucking hair pomade, I'd have to face the photos of us on my bedroom mirror. I’d have to sleep in the center of the bed because his presence was lacking on the right side.

I wasn't ready. 

So I did what I figured was right for me at the time and went to my brothers’ apartment. 

He greeted me with open arms but also concern. Why did you come back so soon? Why do you look like death? What happened? All questions I couldn't answer while sober. 

I lay on his couch, staring at the ceiling, holding a glass full of straight vodka and loving the breeze in my head, and how I finally felt calm enough to just lay around. 

"Can you please tell me what happened?" Dylan asked, eyeing me from the other couch, with an uneasy expression. 

"He cheated on me, lied to my face and then asked me not to leave him." I said, with a laugh, but stopping midway and feeling my eyes tear up. 

"I told him I loved him, Dylan," My voice cracking as it finally set in. "I told him I loved him and he broke my heart." I cried, cried in the worst possible way. I couldn't breathe but I continued to chug the awful liquid, searching for some kind of nirvana, even if it was for a few hours. 

I cried for the longest time, I couldn't tell you exactly how long, but it felt like my throat was going to incinerate. My nose hurt, my eyes felt swollen and my heart was aching. 

I hadn’t realized just how intoxicated I was till Dylan picked me up off the couch and my legs didn't support me, I only fell against him so he swung me in to his arms and carried me in to his room.

My hands were outstretched to the bottle of alcohol I was leaving behind and I couldn't help but whine as he lay me down on the bed, and tucked me in. 

"Please, give me a drink" I cried, sniffling. 

He shook his head, “You've had enough."

"Dylan, please. I need it." I continued to sob. 

"I'm sorry. I'll be outside if you need me."

And he walked out. 

I felt so alone and miserable that I lay there and cried for what seemed like days. I rolled on to my side and sobbed uncontrollably, feeling like I was going to die at any point. Can someone die from a broken heart?

After that, all I remember is waking up to a dark room, but my brother talking to someone else in the other room. 

"Yeah, she's here. She's devastated." He said, with sadness in his voice. 

"No, no. I don't think you coming would make it any better. I don't know what happened between you, but she's been crying for hours now." I heard him say and my heart immediately broke knowing who he was talking to. 

And in my drunken state all I wanted was to scream to my brother to let him come and let him kiss my face and tell me he loved me, but the aching in my throat and my voice were inexistent and of course I cried some more, with the same harshness of before and I just wanted to feel okay. 

I wanted him to lie to me, to tell me loved me more than anyone else.

"Yeah, bro. I'll keep you updated." 

I couldn't handle it. I buried my face in to the pillow and cried myself in to another slumber. 

When I awoke, Dylan was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching me with concern. 

"Hey, how do you feel?" He asked, giving my hand a light squeeze in reassurance. 

"Like hell." I said, and my voice was completely destroyed. It was raspy like when you're sick and lose your voice. I'd cried my voice away. 

"You need to eat something." He said, as I shook my head, sick at the thought of food.

"I’m not hungry."

"Please, Shayley? I don't want you to die."

I laughed, "I do."

He sighed, "Don't say that over a fucking guy. Who, by the way, has been calling every hour."

I closed my eyes, not that I could even open them that wide to begin with and shook my head again.

"He doesn't care."

"He does, Shay. He wouldn't be calling so often if he didn't. He knows you're heartbroken and wants to fix it." Dylan said and I just couldn't deal with that right now. 

"Can you please leave?"

He sighed again, in defeat and left me to my destruction in the dark. 

The next time I awoke he was talking to someone on the phone sounding frantic and scared.

"I've never dealt with this. I don't know what to do. She won't eat, all she does is cry, and she doesn't talk. I just- I'm overwhelmed."

There was a pause. 

"Yeah, mom. I know. But I'm just, I feel like I'm not enough to help her right now."  
I couldn't help but feel awful. Here he was doing the best he could and I was treating him like shit. 

How could I do that to my own brother? I had to snap out of this.

"Okay, I'm just going to chill out for a bit. I'll talk to you later." He said and hung up.

I could hear him shuffling his feet and then it stopped as the TV was turned on. 

I picked up my phone from the nightstand and turned it on for the first time since I left New York. I had 46 missed calls, over 100 text messages, 36 voicemails, and Lord knows how many notifications on social media. 

I guess it had gotten out. 

I looked at the texts, all from him. All asking for forgiveness, to text him back to make sure I was okay, him breaking down in a text. My hands shook as I listened to the voicemails, as I listened to his broken voice repeat how sorry he was and that he never meant for this to happen. 

I listened to most of them and by the time id gone through all of them, I wasn't crying anymore. It was what it was. He cheated on me and I wouldn't be taking him back. 

Then I got a loud text notification, making me jump from the sudden noise through the silence I’d been in for days.

It was from Miles. 

"You've been MIA for five days now. Please let me know you're okay."

I couldn't be rude to him, never to Miles. He was there for me and let me cry when I needed it without a single judgment. 

I'm okay, I just need some time, I texted back.

Not even ten seconds later I got a reply, Fuckin’ hell, Shayley, I thought you died. Please don’t do that again. Anyway, if you need to talk or anything at all, I’m here.

I smiled for the first time in days and sent him a thankful text. He really had been the best during this whole ordeal.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes, realizing that he said I was out for five days. Had I really been gone for that long?

I got out of bed and stood to my feet, feeling almost as if I’d forgotten how to walk. My legs, my whole body felt weak, but I needed to face the world again. I couldn’t possibly keep mourning a loss over someone who fucked me over. 

I had to move on.

I went to the bathroom and washed my face, brushed my teeth, and stood in front of the mirror, studying my face, trying to figure out if that was me or not. I looked like me but not exactly. 

I tugged at my hoodie, pulling it down since it had ridden up while I was in a coma and felt something slightly poke at me from the pocket. Confused, I reached in and pulled out the worst thing I could’ve ever pulled out of a pocket. 

It was the photo I took of Alex when I had marked him up with lipstick kisses. I held it in my hand, feeling a sadness wash over me as I looked at the man I loved. I loved the way he was laying there with that face of his and his naked body being all mine- He wasn’t mine.

I didn’t know whether to throw the photo away or not, I didn’t know if I should keep it and one day I’d find it in a stash of old photo’s and laugh at the dumb short lived love I though I had with a rock star.

I grabbed it and stashed it in to my suitcase in to one of the zippers on the inside, hoping to forget it was there and hoping I’d lose that suitcase somewhere far, far away. Maybe I’d sell it, but then I couldn’t just give a photo like that away. It was private and I wouldn’t forgive myself for causing a scandal for him. Even though he broke my heart, I couldn’t fathom the idea of hurting him. 

After stashing the photo, I slowly walked out in to the living room where my brother was watching TV. The first thing I could think of doing was going to sit next to him and wrapping my arms around him in appreciation of being there for me when I needed him. 

I lay my head on his shoulder as he laid his on top of mine. 

"Thank you." I whispered. 

"You're my only sister, I’d kill for you, but you freaked me out, Shayley. Jesus, it’s like you came back and became a zombie or something.”

“I felt like one, I felt miserable.” I admitted.

“Do you feel better, now?” He asked, turning to me and cocking an eyebrow.

I nodded, “Yeah, I need to get back in to the swing of things.”

I pulled my arms back and just sat next to him, watching him as he turned his body to me with a suspicious look on his face. “Well, are you feeling up for food today? Mom said if you didn’t eat she would come over and force you to shove food down your throat and when she calls I can’t lie to her.”

I laughed at his rambling and nodded, “Yes, I’ll eat today.”

“That’s a step in the right direction. What are you craving?” He asked.

“Anything but pizza.”


	18. Curiosity Becomes a Heavy Load

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *** just noticed I totally skipped a chapter when I posted this, so I'll add that one to this one. The second half is in Alex's point of view.

I walked in to my apartment after a long day in the studio and set my bag down on the couch before making my way to the kitchen and pulling out a water bottle from the fridge. 

It's been about 6 months since I'd left New York and seen Alex, and the calls had finally stopped. The only person I kept in touch with was Miles and luckily he wanted to actually be my friend and he had been an amazing one at that. He had talked to me about everything and seemed to always say the right things, but not just the ones you wanted to hear. 

Beside Miles, I'd made a lovely friend in one of the guys from a band in Michigan, named Andy and we had become such good friends, that we were constantly together, constantly in each other's company and enjoying every second of it. He sort of helped piece me back together along with Miles. Only Miles was from a far and Andy was right there. Sadly, he was on the last leg of his tour in California, so when that was done I’d be flying to catch up with him in Detroit for a while.

The only thing I could think of doing to give myself a new start was to chop off my hair up to my chin. I thought about changing the color but that just wouldn't be me.  
I kicked off my shoes and headed to the bedroom, changing in to some shorts and a band shirt, enjoying the silence in my apartment when I heard the doorbell ring.

I slowly walked back to the living room, placing my water bottle on the counter again and opening the door. 

I almost shrieked when I saw Miles standing there, looking as charming as always with a big smile on his face. 

"Miles!" 

He pulled me in to a hug and squeezed me. "Wow, you're as pretty as I remember you to be!"

"What are you doing here?!" I asked, inviting him in and leading him to the couch. 

"I'm 'ere to 'ave you show me what it's like in Texas. I brought me boots."

I laughed and stared at him in amusement. "You realize we don't actually wear boots and ride horses everywhere right?" 

"Of course I do, I'm English, not dumb." He laughed. 

"Why are you really here, Miles?" I asked squinting my eyes at him.  
"I wanted to check up on you, make sure you're doing well, and I can see you are. I like the hair." He said with a side smirk, as he fiddled with his fingers on his lap.

My hand went to my short hair and pulled at a strand, "Thanks, and I’m okay Miles. You are allowed to go back to your life and stuff. I'm fine." I said, patting his hand awkwardly trying to reassure him that I was not going to die. 

"What if I say that I wanted to come see you, hm? Would that make it better? Shayley, since I met you I knew you were a good person, I knew it in my bones and I sort of knew I wanted to be there for you for everything."

I looked at my hands and listened to him, wondering if maybe, just maybe-

"Look at me, love. Let's go to dinner and then we'll watch a movie or something, let's make my time ‘ere fun. Let’s catch up, yeah?”

I looked up and him and nodded. "Okay, okay. Let's go."

I changed in to regular clothes and we went to dinner at a local restaurant and of course, I strayed from anything having to deal with pizza. 

"How've you been, Miles? What have you been up to?" I asked, as I dug in to my pasta. 

He gently wiped at his mouth with the napkin and shrugged. 

"I've been right well. Been pretty much in Paris with Al-" he stopped, eyes wide one he realized what he was about to say.

"It's okay, you can mention him." I encouraged. 

He cautiously proceeded, "We were in Paris for a long while, and I played a festival over there, then came back to the states, partied in New York and then decided I wanted to come see you"

I twirled at my pasta and looked up at him, "How's Alex?"

"D'you want the truth?" He eyed me from his side of the table. 

Good question. Did I want to hear he was miserable without me? Or did I want to know if he was doing well? 

"The truth." I finally decided. 

"’e's better, ‘e constantly asks me about you. ‘e wants to sort of ask for forgiveness but ‘e's afraid you'll turn ‘im down. I told ‘im ‘e were a dumbass for letting you slip through ‘is fingers." He said, and then his eyes had a certain expression. 

"D'you miss him?"

I shook my head the instantly changed my mind. Why lie? "Yeah, everyday. But he hurt me enough to not want to see him again."

Miles cringed. "That would finish ‘im off."

I shrugged. "It's the truth. I just- I don't know. Maybe we moved too fast and this is why everything happened."

"No, that's not true. It ‘appened cause ‘e's a dickhead. That's all. If it were me that dated you, I would've never let you go."

I looked up at him; sort of surprised he said that. He was Alex's best friend. He was the person Alex confined in the most and he was saying this? 

"Miles-"

He shook his head, "it's alreyt, love."

I didn't know exactly what that meant but we finished our dinner and headed to the bar to get some drinks in before having him drop me off at home. 

He pulled in to my parking lot and offered to walk me inside to make sure I didn't get kidnapped or anything.

"Miles, I'm okay, really." I slurred, tripping over my feet, all while his hand remained on the small of my back, ready to hold me up if I tripped over my sloppy drunken feet.

"I'd feel better if I made sure you got in safe, love."

I giggled and walked up to the door, opening it and turning to him. "Wanna come in for a bit?" 

He nodded and smiled, "Sure, why not?"

BAD IDEA. 

I don't know who kissed whom, who initiated it but he had me up against a wall, kissing my mouth with the most passion, and those lips of his could work wonders against mine. His hands held on to my waist, as mine tugged at the ends of his short hair at the back of his neck. 

I couldn't help but compare him to Alex. His lips were much softer, his kisses less messy. His hands wandered a lot less but maybe it's cause he felt like he was betraying his best friend but couldn't bring himself to stop. 

I didn't want him to stop. I wanted to feel like someone wanted me. Anyone. 

I pulled him near the couch where he threw me down, his lips leaving mine for only a few seconds before attacking my neck, kissing and slowly getting rougher and biting at my skin.

My hands slipped down to every button, undoing them until I pushed his expensive shirt off him, running my hands down his smooth chest, feeling the tightness of his pants on my thigh. 

He sat me up and pulled my shirt off, then unhooked my bra, throwing it over the couch and laying me back down, his mouth hot and trailing down my chest as his hand gently massaged my breast. 

"You're fucking gorgeous." He whispered in that flawless voice of his that was making me melt under him.

I couldn't help but sigh in pleasure as his mouth worked at my breast, licking and nipping and leaving me completely breathless. 

He kissed every inch of my torso and I was impatient for some friction. I needed him to just fuck me. 

I needed him to fuck the thought of Alex out of me.

He unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down, leaving my panties on as my hands undid his pants, pushing them down with my feet, loving the way his erection was straining against his boxers. 

My hand moved down and palmed at it, causing his forehead to fall against my shoulder, his breathing tickling my skin as his fingers gripped at the couch.  
One hand stroked him through his boxers, while the other grabbed him by the hair, pulling his face up and slamming my lips in to his. The poor thing couldn't even keep his lips in sync with mine; he was too distracted my what my hand was doing to him. 

"Fuck" he whispered, grabbing my hand and pulling it back, slipping my panties off completely and ridding his boxers as well. 

He was well endowed but it was no bigger than Alex. I wished he were Alex. 

He kissed my lips again and I wasn't sure when but he had pulled a condom out and put it on, ready to go.

"Ready?" He asked, looking me in the eyes as I nodded and felt him slowly fill me up.  
The feeling was amazing. I hadn't felt this in months and I gripped on to his shoulders, digging my nails in to his skin as he began to go quicker. 

"Fuuuuuuuuck-"

I tried my best to hold in my moans, but he was hitting all the right spots and biting at my neck causing me to moan out his name. 

"Oh, God- Miles!" I moaned as he sped up, using the armrest behind my head to help himself get more leverage. 

"God, you feel so good.”

I raked my nails down his chest, probably leaving long red marks but I couldn't help it.

He moved me up a bit and I almost screamed as he hit my spot again, and again, as I closed my eyes and felt it building up in my stomach. 

"Fuck, I'm going to come" I moaned a few seconds before my lungs stopped pumping air in to me and it felt like I’d had the best orgasm of my life. He thrust in to me as I rode out my orgasm and felt him starting to tense up. He pressed his lips to mine as he came, moaning in to my mouth. 

After a bit, he pulled away and got rid of the condom as I sat up and began to put my clothes back on, as did he. 

I sort of sat there, staring at the floor, my heart beating a mile a minute, and my eyes becoming increasingly watery. 

He didn’t fuck the though of Alex out of me, if anything, it made it worse.

He squatted in front of me and gently tilted my face up to his as I tried to blink the tears away, but that only pushed them forward and they slid out effortlessly. 

"What's wrong?" He asked, furrowing his eyebrows, wiping at the tears. 

I shook my head, feeling embarrassed with everything that had just happened. 

"Talk to me?" He begged, and then his eyes got wide with horror. "Was I bad?"  
"No, no. You were perfect- it's just that- you're his best friend and I didn't want to- but I did and I'm just as shitty as he is." I cried in to my hands as he gently pulled them off my face. 

"It's alright, love. It's alright." He whispered, sitting next to me and pulling me in to his chest, holding me as tight as he could without suffocating me. 

"I'm sorry, Miles." I cried. 

God, how could I be so fucking selfish? How could I use him like that to make myself feel a little better about the Alex situation? 

"You're okay, love. It's fine." 

I spent that entire night venting to Miles about everything, and for once it felt great to have someone listen and know exactly what you were talking about, because he was living it. He was living both sides of what happened.

“Are you going to tell him?”

He sighed and ruffled his hair, “It would eat me up if I didn’t, Shay.”

I nodded and lay my head on the armrest of the couch, my hair falling in to my eyes as I thought about what Alex would say once he found out about this. I didn’t want him to hate me. 

I didn’t want him to hate me.

-

It had been months and I still lay in bed at night wide awake, staring at the side she would normally be on. My bed hadn't felt this empty in so long and I couldn't process not having that nest of red hair in my face every morning, not being able to press my nose in to her skin and kiss the back of her neck while she slept. 

I'd often find myself in Miles' bed at three in the morning, bawling my eyes out till they were so swollen i had no other option than to sleep it off. Sleep and dream about her. 

Miles was probably tired of hearing my endless ranting about what went wrong, how it could've been avoided and how I hated myself for hurting someone so innocent as her. 

The night she left me, I thought was pretty ironic because I was in a room full of people laughing at my jokes, wanting some bit of attention from me, but I was all alone. 

Me best mate disappeared and I knew she had gone. She had gone and left me for good, and i elongated the drive home because I knew when I got back she wouldn't be there and I couldn't bring myself to face the fact that I had truly fucked up. 

I called and texted and tried everything to get her to speak to me but she wouldn't budge. I understood. I was a dick to her when she didn't deserve it, but I hoped that once, at least once she's pick up the phone and tell me to fuck off. I wanted to hear her voice so badly, that I'd take anything she said; that never happened.   
But God, how I wanted to taste her lips again, to kiss her nose and hold her in me arms. 

No amount of slutty women could ever come close to her, she was one in a million and i lost her. 

Paris was a beautiful city filled with lights, romance and cigarettes. Yet, here I was with me best mate, in his flat, drinking some unreasonably expensive wine and watching some bullshit on TV about celebrities in French. Which frankly, I caught about half of what they were saying, they spoke so bloody fast. 

"This is so fucking wank, Miles. There's nothing on." I complained, finishing off my glass of whine, causing me to get a little more feisty than usual. Not that I had been in better spirits before. 

"Change the channel, Al. If it bothers you so much, ay." He said from the kitchen where he was preparing himself some sort of snack that I'd bitterly answered a big fat "no" to when he offered. 

There was a sort of tension in the room since Miles went to see her. I didn't know whether it was cause she convinced him that I was a fucking asshole, or cause he had done summat. All I knew was that he wasn't being his usual self around me, and that cause more pent up aggression from me. 

I turned my attention back to the television and my eyes grew wide as I saw her. 

"M-Miles," i stuttered, frantically searching for the remote to turn the volume up, almost knocking my glass down on to the pristine floors below. 

"What?" He asked, with an annoyed tone, walking up behind where I sat and by the look on his face I knew I wasn't dreaming. He was seeing her too. 

"Shayley spotted with new boyfriend" was all I heard when my mind tuned everything else out. 

There were photographs of her with this other male, about her age, dirty blonde hair, but dirty as in it actually looked unkempt. He looked like a hippie from the seventies and she looked as gorgeous as ever, even with short hair. Why did she cut her hair? She looked a lot thinner. Why did she look thinner? Was this lad really her boyfriend? 

I stood to my feet and went to the kitchen, pouring myself another glass of whine as I watched the the television with jealousy.   
This bloke was hanging out with my girl while I was in Paris as miserable as could be. 

"How do I get her back?" I asked Miles, feeling the knot in my throat start to build. 

Miles looked at me and shrugged. "I dunno, mate. D'you really think she'll forgive you?"

"She has to. I love her more than anything. She doesn't even know what really happened." I whined, hating how months later, she was still all I could think about. 

"Only cause you decided to be a fucking dick'ead to her."

"She doesn't know that I fucking told her to fuck off. She doesn't know that I feel as awful as I do, Miles. Yet she's out there with that bloke with a fucking smile on her face while I'm here-"

"You've been fucking bird after bird. Don't fucking act like you've been so good." Miles shot back, and I was surprised at his outburst. 

I furrowed my brows and felt my blood boil. "And who's side are you on, mate?"

He sighed and shook his head, "You fucked up, admit it. Don't fucking make it seem like you're the one hurting. You didn't see her break down in the middle of the fucking road, crying her fucking eyes out cause her boyfriend cheated on her and treated her like shit. You didn't fucking wipe her tears away, you didn't hear her voice crack when spoke about you." He had started off with a mild tone, but I could tell he was angry. 

But I was just as angry, if not more that he wasn't even trying to see my point of view. 

"Oh, are you the hero in all of this? Just cause you fucking-"

"We shagged." He said, no emotion in his voice and it almost took me a second to process what he'd just said. He couldn't keep eye contact. 

"Who?" I asked, trying to make sure what I heard was real before I beat him to a pulp. 

"We did." He mumbled, keeping his eyes to the ground. 

"Who did?" I shouted.

"I SLEPT WITH SHAYLEY." He repeated,   
looking up at me, and I could see the guilt in his eyes. 

I couldn't control my actions if I tried. In a second I was in front of him, swinging at his face, punching him straight in the jaw. 

"No wonder you always looked at her a certain way."

Another punch, countered by his fist hitting my cheekbone. 

"No fucking wonder you wouldn't tell me what happened when you went to see her."

I punched him in the stomach, a cough leaving his throat as I tried to grab him by the neck to choke him. 

"You were never going to tell me, were you?!" 

We swung at each other till he lost his balance and grabbed my shirt, punching me in the nose, causing me to fall to the ground, him on top of me, fist mid swing when he stopped, breathing heavily as he held his arm back.

I was ready for the blow but it never came. I stated up at him and felt my eyes begin to sting. 

"How could you?" I asked, as his arm backed down and he got off me, sitting next to me while I lay flat on the ground, staring at the ceiling and fighting off the bitter tears.

"I like her, alreyt? I know I did a fucked up thing, I saw a chance to be with 'er even for a while and I took it not thinking about anything other than myself, mate. I didn't want to tell you because I feared you'd not speak to me again." He stopped, his voice cracking but he cleared his throat and kept his stance. " I know it's fucked but Alex, she's still in love with you. She's yours."

"Yeah? Cause she slept with you, you suddenly know this." I shot back, grinding my teeth together in frustration, the tears never leaving my eyes.

"Listen to me, ay? She broke down after it 'appened and we basically talked it all out."

I slightly turned my head in his direction, a tear making its way out of the corner of my eye and I flinched as his hand reached out, thumb wiping at my eyes. 

My face began to sting and I realised I had busted his lip, blood running down his chin as he wiped it with the sleeve of his shirt.

"How can you like her? She's- that's- that's not right." I stumbled over my words.

"She's amazing. She's everything I've ever wanted and you got her. You of all people and you threw it all away and for what? A night with you ex bird? Was it worth it, Al?"

I closed my eyes and shook my head. No, it wasn't worth it. 

"Did you kiss her?" Was all I could ask. I couldn't imagine anyone kissing her lips other than myself. The more I thought about what he'd done to her, the more disgusted I felt. The thought of him kissing her neck, touching her waist, fucking her-  
He slowly nodded, looking back at the ground. 

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from blubbering like I wanted to. Not that he hadn't seen me cry over the same thing, but this was different. Me best mate shagged the girl I loved. How can you bounce back from that?

I sniffled and wiped my nose with the back of my sore hand. 

"I'm sorry, Al." He quietly said. 

"So am I."


	19. Alex Repellant

I was pacing around nervously staring out in to the crowd ahead of me, straining my eyes to check just wear the crowd ended, to make sure my band measured up to the one that was playing right now. I bit the inside of my cheek and moved back a bit, trying to take in exactly what was happening.

I was about to play the biggest crowd in Kill The Elite history and I couldn’t wrap that around my head. There was thousands, and I mean, THOUSANDS of people here and most of them probably knew who we were. What was MORE amazing was that we were the co-headliners with a "secret band" as the show headliner. This secret band was so secret that I had literally asked a handful of people working the festival and they refused to tell me.

I peeked back out at the crowd and shivered as the cold winter winds hit me. I should probably put on a jacket, instead of just wearing a light tank top. God, I just felt horribly nervous, which in turn was making me over think everything.

"Are you ready to play?" I heard someone ask, as I turned and saw the stage manager coming toward me, with a smile on his face. 

"Yeah, I'm nervous, though." I admitted, nervously tugging at the hem of my shirt, as I poked my head through the amps and out in to the crowd, swaying along to the band that was playing. 

"Don't be. Once you get out there you'll shed all that nervousness. Plus, the crowd always enjoys a pretty face." He said, glancing at the crowd, then back at me. "The crowd is already hyped to be here and with your performance and the other bands, they're going to have an amazing night." He continued. 

My eyes widened, and I went, "Ooooh, who's the secret band? I won't tell, I swear."

He shook his head, "I can't say."

"Pleaaaaaseee? I won't mass tweet it. I'm just curious." I innocently smiled at him. 

He rolled his eyes and laughed, "It's the Arctic Monkeys. Anyway, good luck! See you in a bit." He said, leaving me there with my mouth agape and my heart pounding out of my chest. 

"It's the Arctic Monkeys"

Just like that. Like that sentence didn't mean anything to me.

Well it wasn't like he knew. 

But I knew and I felt like I couldn't breathe. What were the chances of running in to him? This place was huge, but we were going go play on the same stage. 

Fuck my life.

I began my slow and paranoid walk back to my dressing room, keeping my face low, but my eyes on full alert and just as I had gotten to the hallway were my dressing room was, I was pulled inside another room, a very dark room and just as I went in to a panic, the lights when on and my panic dissipated. 

Andy smiled at me, "Why do you look so scared?"

"You fucking asshole." I shouted, hitting him on the shoulder then pouting. "I just found out who the secret band is."

"Who?" He asked, moving his blonde hair out of his eyes. 

"AM."

He raised an eyebrow, "So he's here?" And by his tone, I could tell he wasn't ecstatic that he was in our midst. 

I nodded, "Yeah."

"Are you okay with that?" He asked, reaching out and gently touching my cheek. 

I shrugged, "I guess. I just don't know what I would do if I saw him. Would I be angry?"

He pulled me in to him, wrapping his arms tightly around me as I sighed in to his chest.

"I think it'll be okay." 

I closed my eyes. "I hope so."

"And hey, I'll be here every step of the way, Shay. You're okay, I have you." He said, in his most reassuring voice, and I couldn't help but squeeze him. 

"Are you ready to go on?" I asked, since we were short a drummer, he had made the trip like the true friend he was, and taken my brothers place for the show. 

He nodded, "Yeah, I hope I don't fuck up too bad."

"Shut up, you're like a drum god." I said, pulling back as he eyed me up and down. 

"Tell me you're going to wear something over that. It's cold out there."

I nodded, "I was just headed to my dressing room, when you rudely interrupted me, but since you did, come with me?"

He rolled his eyes with a laugh, "What? I'm like Alex repellant?"

I laughed and grabbed his hand, pulling him out and in to my dressing room a few doors down, putting on a leather jacket over my tank top, then pulling Andy back out and on to the stage where we geared up with our in-ear monitors, and tuned some chords quickly. 

Finally, we walked on stage and I took my spot in the center, looking out in to the never-ending crowd and noticed signs with my name on them, our name, the bands name. 

This was so surreal. 

"We are Kill The Elite and I hope you enjoy your night with us." I said in to the mic as the music began and we kicked off our set with as much energy as we could. 

My vocals didn't fail me, not once and I found myself singing with a smile on my face feeling like a more hardcore Hayley Williams, feeling like I was on top of the world. Though my brother wasn't here, my best friends were and I couldn't be happier. 

I couldn’t help but keep glancing at the side stage area, where people had gathered to watch, in hopes that maybe Alex was watching my set. But, realistically, why would he? 

As I sang, I took out my in-ear monitors and stopped singing, allowing the crowd to sing the words for me and for a moment it felt like I was in heaven. I was having my words sang back to me and they sounded beautiful. They swayed and jumped and sang and I couldn’t tear my eyes off them. This is exactly what I was meant to do, where I was meant to be.

I looked back at the rest of my band and they had smiles to match mine. We all knew how fortunate we were, and how our hard work had finally paid off.

I finished my set, soaked in sweat as I waved to the crowd, not wanting to leave the stage but my time was up.

I didn't stick around for Alex’s band. I couldn't deal with it, so I took off to the after party instead, hoping to drink my paranoia away and it didn’t take long for me to spot a familiar face.  
I saw him from a far, I wasn't entirely sure it was him, until I saw the thin man in his fitted suit, with the shaggy hair and my stomach flipped in excitement and nervousness.

As soon as his eyes caught mine, a smile played over his lips and he basically ran to me, pulling me in to a warm hug.

“Miles!” I said in to his chest, as he over exaggeratingly squeezed me. It was probably the alcohol in my system but I was really excited to see him despite everything that had happened. 

He pulled back and held me at arms length, "You look beautiful. How've you been?"

"Great, did you hear? My album hit number one on like," I counted on my fingers, "like a lot of charts."

He laughed and pulled me in to another hug. "You're adorable. I missed your Americanness!" 

"I missed you, Miles. It's been too long. How's it been for you?" I asked, slightly puling back, but he didn’t entirely let me go.

He scratched the back of his head and nodded, "Recorded the solo album, put that out, big hit in the UK, America is a little more stubborn but I have hope. If they’re anything like you, they should like me pretty soon."

"Hey, I love your music. You could sing me in to another universe." I said with a laugh. 

“By the way, I saw your set tonight, and you are a mind-blowing performer.” He warmly said, as the biggest smile formed over my lips.

“You saw us play?” I asked, surprised he would even want to see us play.

He nodded and squeezed me, “I wouldn’t miss it.”

I was so caught up in our conversation that I almost didn’t notice the presence standing next to us, if it wouldn’t have been for that strong scent of cigarettes and cologne, and that voice.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't a little reunion."


	20. We Need To Talk

I could feel my breath catch and my body stiffen up, my eyes fixed on Miles like he was the person that would save me from this situation, but by the look on his face, I knew we were in the same position. I finally managed to turn my attention to him as his eyes burned in to me. God, his stare itself gave me chills and I had to snap myself out of it by turning to Miles and attempting to make my getaway. "I'll see you later.”

"Not going to say ‘ello, love?"

Damn it. 

I turned back to him and let out a deep breath. "Hey, Alex."

His gaze left me and seized up Miles’, “D’you mind?”

Miles swallowed hard like he was holding himself back as so he turned to me and said, "I'll let you guys, catch up. It was nice seeing you, Shay." He smiled, gently grabbing my hand, giving it a squeeze and walking away. By the tension between them, it was safe to assume that they weren’t exactly best friends right now.

I almost made a squeaking noise as I watched him walk away, leaving me with what I had been avoiding this whole time. 

Eight months avoiding this man, yet here he was in front of me. 

A waiter walked by and I immediately reached in to his tray, grabbing a glass and downing about half of it, trying to fill the silence with my gulps. 

"That greeting didn't sound too believable, did it?" He pushed on, with that arrogant tone and a stupid smirk on his face. 

I raised an eyebrow and felt him lean in closer, reeking of alcohol. This dude was fucking drunk, yet he still managed to look perfect. "That were ‘bout the fakest thing you've ever spoken to me."

I rolled my eyes, "Fuck off." 

He eyed me up and down, but not with lust, with something else in his brown eyes as he licked his lips and slowly spoke. "You look fucking beautiful." 

I could feel my heart race as he said those words. He still managed to make me feel like a fucking schoolgirl with a stupid crush. 

He titled his head a bit and kissed my cheek, his lips pressed against my skin for a moment that I wanted to pocket forever but he pulled away and sort of smirked.  
"Care for a smoke?" He asked, and I could tell he just wanted to get me outside and away from the crowd. 

It must've been the alcohol because I followed. 

I couldn't help but notice the way his back muscles moved under his fitted, very fitted blazer, the way his jeans hugged his long muscular legs perfectly, hanging low on his hips. The way he had slicked his hair back but it still fell against his face, almost giving him the effect of a fringe. 

Just as we hit the door for the outside area, I stopped and looked around for any sign of Andy to let him know where I'd be, but I felt Alex grab my hand and pull me outside. 

The harsh winter winds biting at my arms through my jacket, causing my hair to swirl around my face as he lit up and took a drag of his cigarette, then held it between his fingers, bringing it up to my lips as I looked at him, and sucked in, inhaling the smoke, then exhaling when he moved his hand. 

I took a sip of my drink and heard Alex sigh, a shaky frustrated sigh. 

I looked up at him just in time to have him smash his lips on to mine, causing me to lose grip on the glass, dropping it to the ground, having it shatter around our feet. 

I pulled away to look at the glass when he grabbed my face, kissing me again, flicking his cigarette away and holding my face in his hands. And I couldn't help but kiss him back; he tasted amazing. He tasted how only Alex could. 

I grabbed on to his blazer to keep my balance and felt myself tiptoeing to him, as the kisses got more aggressive and sloppy. All the months of pretending he didn’t exist, all those months of missing him came down to this very moment.

He pulled back, breathing heavily, his hands shaking and I wasn't sure if it was from the cold or from something else. 

His grip on my face was a little tighter than before but I moved my face enough to plant a kiss on the palm of his hand and I swear, for a moment I saw his eyes close in bliss but when I looked at him his expression had softened, along with his grip. 

"Why did ever let you go." He whispered, his voice trembling. 

I studied his face and noticed how sad his eyes were.

"D'you know what you do to me?" He asked, pressing his forehead to mine, our noses touching. He was showing me his weakness for once, but I wasn’t sure if it was too late for that. Where was this side of him eight months ago when I was crying my eyes out, hoping he’d come around?

I shook my head. 

"When I saw you with..." He hesitated, "With Miles, I just fucking-"

I wondered if he knew what had happened. Why wouldn't he know? Even Miles said he'd tell him. Maybe that’s why they had seemed so off earlier.

"Be dumb with me?" He asked, kissing my nose. 

I wasn’t sure what that meant but I wanted to. I wanted to so desperately be around him again, to have him smile at me like he used to, so I nodded and let him lead me back in to the party, so we could make our way out. 

An hour later we were both wasted and giggling our asses off, sitting on the balcony of his hotel room, sharing a cigarette and continuing to sip from our individual bottles of alcohol; his whiskey, mine vodka, occasionally taking a sip of his just because the bottle tasted of him.

It felt as if we were two teenagers that had run away from home, with nothing to lose, only memories to gain. He was smiling and laughing and joking around like we were old friends, like nothing had happened.

"So I jumped in to the freezing water and God, I though me arms were going to fall off."

I laughed at how dramatic he was. "Did they fall off?"

He looked at me and chuckled with a nod. "These are actually not real, I got wood arms attached to me so I could still be presentable."

"Your hands look pretty believable." 

"Me doctor were a war veteran specializing in wood reconstruction." He said with a dumb laugh not even taking himself serious. 

He turned to me and twirled a strand of my hair between his fingers, “I like your ‘air like this.”

I sort of watched him play with my hair, then my eyes went up to his face and I just couldn’t help the feeling in my gut. I loved this piece of shit; there was no doubt about that.

“Do you?” I asked, not really expecting an answer but he nodded.

I was shivering from the cold wind hitting us but I refused to move. I wanted this moment to last forever. I leaned against his arm and rested my head on him as he passed me the cigarette and I took a drag. 

"You're shaking, love." His deep voice broke me out of my trance.

I exhaled the smoke and shook my head, passing him the cigarette, "I'm okay."

He moved a bit and wrapped an arm around me, pulling me in close. 

"What else did you do while we weren't speaking?" I asked, for the sake of asking. I just wanted to hear him talk. 

"Erm, I went to Paris for a while." 

"Mm, Miles told me about that." I whispered, closing my eyes, breathing in his scent. 

"Did ‘e?"

I nodded in to his arm, "Yeah."

We were quiet for a moment and I almost regretted bringing up Miles since it cast an awkward vibe between us. 

"Will you stay the night?"

I looked up at him, fear overcoming me at the though of him hurting me again and shook my head, "I don't think that would be a good idea."

He sighed and placed a kiss on my forehead and for some reason that little bit of attention had me in a strange position to want more. But I couldn’t want more. I stood to my feet, suddenly, going inside with him hot on my trail. 

"Where you going?"

I turned to him, my heart beating out of my chest, as he stood there confused with his beautiful face. 

"Shay?"

I walked to him, smothering his mouth with mine, his hands gripping tight on to my body, holding me in place as mine held his face, his tongue dancing with mine. He pushed me up against the wall and roughly took control, removing my hands from his face so he could deepen the kiss.

His fingers played with the hem of my shirt, finally pulling off of me, leaving me in my bra as he kissed my shoulders, marking what was his and nipping at my neck leaving my breathless. 

"Fuck-" I moaned as his hand trailed down in to my jeans, his fingers finding the right places to apply pressure in small circles. 

"Aleeeeeeeexxxx" 

"Yes, love?"

"Fuck me."

God, I needed him. As self destructive as that seemed, I needed to feel him inside me, I needed to feel him want me. 

I heard him let out a deep breath and he kissed my lips with need, while he undid his jeans, kicking them off, then undoing mine in a hurry. 

I lifted his shirt off and ran my hands down his chest, feeling the subtle muscles underneath and missing how his skin felt under my fingertips. How did I go so long without this?

I kissed his throat, earning a moan out of him as his fingers hooked on to my panties pushing them down my legs, moving me a bit so I could step out of them. 

I could see that straining in his boxers and God, I missed that sight. 

My fingers dug in to his hair, pulling his lips on to mine, as my hand began to stroke him through his boxers, but he shooed my hand away as he grabbed my thighs, lifting up against the wall, while dropping his boxers to his ankles. 

I wrapped my legs around his waist as he pushed me a little further up on the wall, then dropping me down on to him, his whole, thick length filling me up slowly. I lost all eye contact as my head hit the wall, my mouth hung open, eyes closed at the sheer pleasure I was feeling. The one thing I absolutely loved about sex with Alex was that no matter how many times we did it, it always felt like the first time. It always felt like the most amazing white-hot pleasure being spread throughout my body.

I could feel him slowly moving in and out of me, when I heard him whisper, "God, you look gorgeous."

I opened my eyes and looked down at him, my grip on his hair loosening a bit, as we kept eye contact for a few seconds. But God, I had to throw my head back again, as he sped up, hitting all the right spots. Moans escaping my lips, while profanities escaped his, as his fingers dug in to my hips so hard, I'd have bruises come tomorrow. 

"Fuck, Shayley, fuck." He groaned in to my shoulder, biting at my bra strap since my bra was never removed in the rush of the moment. "I love you."

He kissed at my neck, muttering soft "I love you's" in to my skin, as it all came at me at once and I dug my nails in to his shoulders, my legs tightening around his hips as a loud moan exited my lips.

"Oh, God." I whispered, coming down from my orgasm as he pounded in to me a few more times before he came as well. 

He stayed put for a moment, his body trembling, and his shaky breaths on my chest as he rested his forehead on my shoulder. 

"We need to talk." He whispered, kissing up my neck slowly and sweetly. 

He grabbed ahold of my face and very gently kissed my lips. 

I shook my head only to have him nod. "We need to sort all this out, love."

As much as I didn’t want to, I knew he was right. If we wanted to salvage even a small piece of what we had, we would have to air things out. It was time.


	21. Aftershocks

I sat on the edge of his hotel bed, tugging at the hem of my shirt, watching him pour himself a glass of whiskey. The way he stood there, staring at the glass made me nervous. I managed to tear my eyes away from him and glued it to my hands, not wanting to move, or breathe, not wanting to make a single sound so he would forget he wanted to talk about all of this. But I couldn’t keep my eyes off him and how attractive he looked, with his tired eyes, sweaty hair, and wrinkled shirt. I must have drifted off in my thoughts because I faintly heard him say my name. 

"Shayleh?" 

I turned to him, trying to tune my mind back to the present and not to fifteen minutes ago, pressed on the wall getting fucked senseless. 

"I missed you." 

I stared at him, not knowing what to say, just because what could I say when I had thrown all my inhibitions out the fucking window. But I managed a simple, "Yeah?"

"You 'ave no idea."

"Good." I bitterly said, grabbing my jacket from the other side of the bed and pulling my phone out, texting Andy back and letting him know I'd be late and not to wait up, though he probably already knew where, and whom I was with. 

"Good?"

"Mhm."

"That's all I get?" He asked, taking a sip of his whiskey, then setting the glass down on the counter before he sat across from me on one of the chairs. 

"What more do you want?" I asked, now that the alcohol had run its course and it was my emotions talking. The anger that had built up over the months of not being around him, of going over the events in my head trying to figure out what I'd done wrong. 

"I just- erm, did you not miss me?" He asked, confusion in his voice. 

"Of course I did, dickhead." I said, setting my phone next to me. "But I still hate you."

He remained quiet for a bit, but then quietly said. "I still love you."

I looked up at him, not expect the forwardness, but then again, it slipped out while we were having our little encounter. I didn't expect any of this, actually. I saw it going a whole lot different in my head. Where I didn't kiss him back, I didn't fuck him, in fact I didn't even speak to him. 

"I-I'm sorry. What I did were wrong, and-"

"You broke my heart for no reason, Alex." I interrupted, feeling my voice crack. 

He took a deep breath, "I know, I'm sorry." 

But who was I to talk? I had done the same. I slept with his best friend and if I thought HE was a bad person for fucking me over, I was no better. 

"But so did you."

"What?" I glanced up at him as he ran his hands over his tired face. 

"You shagged me best mate, Shayley. How d'you think that made me feel?"

I couldn't look at him, I was guilty and there was nothing I could do to change it.  
"I were fucking pissed off when he told me." He paused and shook his head. "Realistically, I pushed you right in to ‘is arms with the way I treated you. I were a fucking wank and Miles probably deserves you more than I-" he stopped, and took a deep breath. "Why DID you do it?"

"Why did you?" I shot back, feeling like he was throwing this whole thing on me.

He swallowed hard and shrugged. "’onestly, because I could. She were there, available and I didn't think about it until after and I realized I fucked up. I didn't realize summat so stupid could ruin the best thing I ‘ad."

I felt the tears building in my eyes and God, I didn't want to cry anymore. I figured I'd used up all my tears over him, but they were fighting their way out of my eyes. It hurt to think that I wasn’t even a part of his decision making when that incident was about to take place. He didn’t think about how it would hurt me, he only thought about getting himself off. 

"Why did you?" He asked again. 

"Because he was there, and he wanted me. And I wanted him to push you out of my head. I wanted him to make me forget everything about you."

He watched me intently. "Did ‘e? Make you forget me, that is."

I shook my head.  
He ran a hand through his disheveled hair and sighed. 

How I wanted to know what he was thinking.

"Are you and Miles still friends?" I couldn't help but ask, my voice small and full of shame.

"Erm, well, not- not really. The first time I've spoken to him were tonight."

"Really?"

He shook his head. "Nope, I can't stand to look at ‘im. ‘e fucking-" he stopped. "I just don't feel the need to speak to ‘im again."

I couldn't believe I had broken a friendship. I couldn't believe that I, a fucking useless American girl, broke up a million year friendship. 

Now that weighed on me more than anything. 

I stared at my hands and tried to think about anything other than the current situation but I couldn't believe I'd broken a friendship. 

A few silent moments went by and he looked at me, "Will you ever forgive me?" 

I nodded, "Will you?"

"Always, love." He said, sincerity in his voice and I almost felt like it was all going to be okay. 

Almost. 

There was a knock at the door and Alex lazily got up to answer it. Low and behold, a drunken Miles stood at the door. 

He looked over to me and sighed. 

"We need to talk, mate." He said to Alex, inviting himself in as I stood to my feet, grabbing my jacket and trying to make my exit, and for the second time that night Alex held me back by grabbing on to my hand ever so lightly.

"Stay. You ‘ave more than enough right to be ‘ere for this."

I began to shake my head, but sat back down anyway, staring at my hands, hoping for this to be over soon. I really didn’t want to be here for this. This was a fucked up situation and even though I had a part in it, it felt wrong to be listening on their private conversation. 

Miles came towards Alex, and said, "I miss you, mate. I really am sorry for what hap-“

"You shagged the girl I loved. But you had that bloody crush on 'er didn't ya?" 

I looked at Miles and noticed how he was beginning to ball his fists. 

He looked at me then at Alex. "Yeah, I did. You don't deserve ‘er, and you know that. It's like I've told you a thousand times; you broke ‘er. And yeah, I may ‘ave ‘ad a crush on ‘er but I wanted to put ‘er back together. I wanted ‘er to not feel the way she did because my best friend decided to fuck ‘er over."

Alex glared at Miles, "This is your apology? Blaming me for what's ‘appened?"

"You ’ave to take some of the blame. You fucked over the one girl who loved you blindly. God, Alex." Miles yelled, frustrated. "You have no one to blame but yourself and you're lucky enough that she's ‘ere with you right now after all you've done."

I stared at my hands feeling like a dumbass for being here, for giving in to him, for caring.

"You betrayed me in the worst way, Miles. That's summat I can't forgive you for. Not so easily." 

Miles sighed in defeat, probably realizing Alex was set on not forgiving him right away. "I miss my best friend. Please, what can I do?" Miles begged. 

It was almost sad to see these two-

All I heard was a loud smack where Alex's fist contacted Miles’ face, and Miles wasn't far behind, smashing his fist against Alex's cheekbone. 

I stood to my feet, going to them and pulling Miles back by his suit and trying my best to hold on to him. As small as he was, he had strength to him, as he tried to pull away from me to hit Alex again.

"Guys, stop! What the fuck?!" 

"Let him go, Shayley." Alex warned me with that deep, menacing voice of his.

"Are you kidding me?" I shouted at him, trying to figure out how fighting was going to fix things.

Miles turned to me, holding my face, his thumbs gently caressing, blood running down his thin lips and chin, "It's alright, love. A little fight to get it out our systems, yeah?"

I shook my head and pulled away from him like he’d stung me. "No! I don't fucking know how English people fix shit, but this is not it. Sober the fuck up and fix your issues. I don't want to be around either one of you." I yelled, grabbing my jacket again and walking out, leaving then to their stupid fight. 

I leaned against the wall next to the door and took a deep breath; trying to feel like all hope wasn’t lost, like Miles and Alex would fix their issues and be the best friends they once were when I wasn’t in the picture. If that’s what it took, then I’d leave.


	22. Overwhelmed

I took a cab to the hotel, the entire ride back was a whirlwind of me sitting there and trying to piece together the events of the last few hours, tapping my foot on the floor of the car and watching the flashing lights pass by in a flurry of colors. It felt like no amount of alcohol could fix the shit I was in, no amount of anything could fix this.

What had taken place tonight was just too fucked up to be true and I didn't believe it, even though I had just lived it.

I played the biggest crowd in Kill The Elite history, went to a party, ran in to Miles, got drunk, fucked Alex, witnessed a fistfight between the two and left them behind, feeling more aggravated and annoyed than before. For a moment I wished I never met them, and I would've never ruined their friendship, I would've kept my fucking sanity.  
I would've been better than I was now.

But on the other hand, Alex and Miles had brought me so much happiness at one point. I couldn’t possibly regret meeting them, even if I tried.

"Here you are" the cabdriver cut through my thoughts and I quickly paid him and got out, taking in my surroundings. Didn’t spot a single photographer so I made my way inside feeling a tad more comfortable.

I walked in to the lobby, feeling like I was dragging my feet right along with the rest of my body to the elevator, when I realized I didn't actually know what room I was staying in. With a sigh I slowly went to the front desk where a tall older male greeted me.

"Hi, um I wasn't sure what room I'm staying in-" I slowly started, unsure of how to word my dilemma.

Luckily he made sense of that and nodded, "Name?"

"Um, I think the reservation might be under our manager,” I mumbled more to myself than to him. “Uh, Charley- Charles York?" I spat out, my voice hoarse, feeling like I needed a drink of water to clear my throat.

I felt like hell.

"Alright, your name?" He asked, looking at me, probably judging me.

"Shayley-"

"Got it. You'll be in room 433. Here is your key." He said, handing me a key card in a tiny sleeve. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

I shook my head and forced a smile. "No, thank you."

"Thank you, have a good night."

I nodded and headed toward the elevator, hitting the button, hoping the door would open immediately; because all I wanted to do was sit down. My legs hurt, my arms felt like noodles, and I had the headache from hell.

After a few seconds, the doors opened and I stepped in, glad no one was in there because it felt as if I'd be having a full meltdown at any second. Tonight was entirely too much for me to handle and I wasn't very fond of crying in public.

The door opened on the second floor and a young girl stepped in, standing on the opposite side of the elevator as she hit the button for her floor. I could feel her gaze on me, probably judging me like the receptionist, so I kept my eyes glued to the ground, not wanting to draw attention to myself.

If I could’ve worn an invisibility cloak to be gone from the world for a bit, I would have.

Adding on to my headache was the fact that I could still smell him on me. I could smell the cigarettes and the way his hair smelled like some sort of coconut shampoo.

I had him etched in to my brain and no matter how many times I told myself to stop, told myself he didn't matter to me, I knew that was a damn lie.

"Hello." I heard a soft voice say and I wasn't sure if she was speaking to me, so I looked up at her and my heart dropped, my stomach turning in to knots, the need to puke on the floor over her expensive shoes.

I tried to keep my cool and turned away, staring at the buttons on the elevator, wishing it would get to my floor quicker. What were the fucking odds of being in the same exact place as her?

"You're her."

I bit the inside of my cheek and tried so hard to keep my composure, keeping my eyes on the elevator door.

"You're the bird he fell for, aren't you? I'd recognize that hair anywhere." She said sounding like her purpose was to offend me. "You look like hell."

Abruptly, I turned to her, "I've had a rough night."

“I’d say.”

She studied me with those pretty blue eyes of hers and her fucking long neck and model body, God. No wonder he fucked her. I was a double zero compared to her, and I hated the little bit of envy that I felt over that.

I could feel her sizing me up and I knew she was picking me apart in her mind. She was picking every little flaw and using it to make herself feel superior to me.

And in a way, she was.

"I don't see why he fell for you the way he did, honestly. You look a little ordinary aside from the hair." She said, ever so gently but with venom.

“Thanks.” I said, with a sarcastic laugh.

"I literally can’t believe you’re the reason he told me to fuck off.” She rolled her eyes and shook her head; "It was a shock to me but whatever the little rock star wants, he gets."

I furrowed my brows, annoyed with this conversation.

"He’s gone mad over you so you must be something really special.” You could just hear the sarcasm dripping from her tongue, and in all honesty, all I wanted to do was turn around and punch her in the face.

The elevator dinged and I was ready to get the fuck out of there.

“Good talk, Shayley.” Was the last thing she said with a smirk on her face, before the doors closed and I was finally able to breathe again.

I felt sick.

I was more than ready to call it a night.


	23. Midnight Cravings

"What happened?" Andy asked, sitting on the edge of the bed, concern adorning his face. 

"I don't know, like, I saw him and we were going to talk and Miles came and they got in a fight and I walked out." I rambled, sniffling as the tears subsided, "then as I'm coming here on the fucking elevator, who the fuck walks in? Her."

"Her?"

"Her! Her, the her he cheated on me with." I yelled, standing to my feet and pacing around a bit, only to walk back and sit next to him again.

Andy's eyes widened. "Oh! Her!"

"It was the most awkward moment of my life. Not to mention she loved low key insulting me." I rolled my eyes, her comments still fresh in my memory.

"I mean she’s obviously jealous, Shay." Andy said, and I wish I could've believed him. 

"She's a model, Andy. What does she have to be jealous about? She's rich, tall, pretty. There’s legit nothing to be jealous over."

"She doesn't have his love. She's jealous over the fact that you have him and she doesn't." He countered my argument, holding my hands in his. "Don't you dare feel like you're not good enough, okay?"

My eyes darted to the ground as he continued. “You are absolutely gorgeous, you’re badass, the most amazing human being I’ve ever met. You’re a goddess, Shay, and no one, not even her has anything on you.”

He pulled me in to him and kissed my forehead, "Get some sleep, alright? I'll see you tomorrow morning."

I nodded and walked him out, closing my door and dead bolting it, then going to the bed, sprawling myself out and going over what had happened. 

Everything just seemed so fucked up. I could've not gone to the party and not have run in to him.

I could've gone to the party and not left with him.

I did it all wrong, but I couldn't help myself around him. I've never have.  
I heard a light knock at the door and figured it was Andy who’d probably forgotten something, so I stood, tripping over my boots in the middle of the room and finally reached the door. 

With a bit of effort I was able to open the heavy door and have someone push me in, slamming his lips on mine. 

Alex. 

"Don't leave me." He said in to the kiss as he closed the door behind him with his foot, then slamming me up against the wall. 

"Please don't leave me."

He pulled back for air, his eyes full of sadness at the same time, as his hands held my waist, bunching up my shirt in his hands like he was holding back.

My hands pressed against his chest, feeling it rise and fall under my touch, his heartbeat pounding in to the palm of my hands.

"I need you." He said, connecting his whiskey tainted lips to mine, his tongue wasting no time and invading my mouth, dancing with mine in perfect synchrony. 

His lips slipped away from mine, and went down to my neck, very slowly kissing around and sucking on my skin, causing me to let out an involuntary moan, and my fingernails to graze the back of his neck. 

His lips lost contact as he came up to me, our heavy breathing the only sound in the room. 

"Alex-"

"I need you, Shayley."

My fingers played with his hair, as I pulled him in to me, kissing him again and hoping to let him know how much I wanted him. 

How much I needed him next to me.

My hands slipped down his chest, grabbing the hem and pulling it over and off of him, throwing it on the ground as my fingertips raked his sides, his hands squeezing at my waist, his lips attached to my neck.

I couldn’t help but want to get to it, and undo his belt, and unbuttoning his jeans when he grabbed me by waist and led me to the bed. He removed my shirt and pushed me down on to the bed, while he took his belt off the loops, dropping it on the floor. 

I couldn’t help but watch him. The button I’d popped open from his jeans left him revealing that perfect v line of his down to where I needed to be. That tiny bit of skin was driving me insane. I couldn't keep my eyes off him; the cuts and bruises and dried blood made him look that much more attractive, I couldn't contain myself.

He looked over to me, his swollen lips hanging open a little, "You're so fucking perfect."

He climbed on top of me and kissed me before sitting back and undoing my jeans, pushing them down my legs and throwing them across the room.

He began his slow tortuous kissing up my legs. Warm kisses turning in to small bites, all the way up to my panties. 

He pulled them down and off my legs and then kissed at my thighs, making my legs shake in anticipation. 

God, this man was a literal drug to me.

"You're so beautiful, you're so fucking beautiful." He whispered, kissing my shoulders, and any place he could get his lips on. 

He slowly made his way between my legs and began to lead his way in, so I grabbed his face and kissed him as he thrust in to me, filling me up completely, then pulling out, then right back in. 

I bit down on his lip, to keep myself from moaning, but he felt so amazing. As he started a pace I connected my lips to his neck, sucking on the skin, leaving a bruise there, raking my nails down his back. 

"Fuck, Alex." I breathed out as one of his hands held on to my hips, fingertips digging in to my skin hard, while the other held him up. 

He kissed me again and sped up, kissing my jaw and whispering soft "I need you’s" I'm to my ear. 

"Fuck, Alex. Please, faster." I begged, tugging at his hair, and he obliged by pulling back a bit and grabbing my hips, pounding in to me. 

I could feel it building in the pit of my stomach and he knew it too, he pressed a kiss to my forehead and hit my spot, causing me to go right over and pleasure waves to be released throughout my body. It came so hard I almost couldn't help the slight twitching that accompanied such a huge orgasm.  
A few more thrusts and I felt him finish with a beautiful moan, but he kept thrusting till he just couldn't anymore. 

He pulled out and took my face in his hand, giving me a proper kiss before falling next to me, trying to regulate his heartbeat. 

I pulled the covers over me and turned on my side, pushing my face in to the pillow and closing my eyes, more than ready to sleep. I could feel slight movement, and felt him press kisses to my nose and forehead. 

"I can't be without you."

I opened my eyes and we're met with his. 

His thumb gently caressed my cheek causing me to close my eyes again, loving the way he felt. "I need you, love. I'm willing to do anything for you to let me back in." He said, kissing my forehead again. 

"Tell me the truth." 

He swallowed hard and nodded. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything. Just come clean."

He appeared nervous which in turn made me uncomfortable but he nodded and spoke. "I... Did cheat on you but I told her to fuck off, I did. I knew it were wrong, and I didn't want to fuck it up. But when we were apart I did... Fuck. I did shag other girls."

I couldn't help the sting in my eyes as he said that. 

"No, no, love. This is why I didn't want to tell you." He quickly said, about to reach out to me. 

I shook my head. "Go on."

"That's all, love. They didn't mean anything to me at all. They never would."

I buried my face in to the pillow and cried for the millionth time that night. 

He pulled me in to him and gently rubbed my back, kissing my forehead and whispering his "I'm sorry's" in to my ear. 

"I know nothing can fix what I did, but I just need you to know how sorry I am, and how much I love you. You mean the entire world to me."

"I can't do this." I whispered, and pulled away from him., not helping but to feel like I’d lived this before. I’d been in this exact situation before and I’d put myself right back in it.

I could hear his soft sigh, and then a sort of tremble. My heart shattered when I realized he was crying.

\----   
Alex's pov

I didn't sleep very well, in fact I didn't sleep at all. Laying there not wanting to leave but not exactly feeling wanted wasn't ideal, but as long as I had her near me, it seemed alright.  
The longer I lay there, listening to her quiet breathing, the cars passing by, the wing rattling the windows a bit, I realized that I was alone again. 

Sure I had the band and my family but I had lost two very key people to me, one was laying next to me and the other I had punched in the face till i felt like I had enough.   
How could I do that to my best friend?   
I grabbed my phone off the floor where it had fallen, along with my jeans and checked the time.

6:23 am.

I turned to her and watched her sleeping, with her nose reddened at the tip and, pouty lips. I wanted so bad to hold her, and kiss her but hesitated, not wanting to wake her up and upset her more than I had. 

It seemed as if I'd fucked things up with her more than anyone. We were toxic to each other. Well, more me than her. 

I went against my better judgement and pulled her in to my chest. Effortlessly she snuggled in to me and pressed her face in to the crook of my neck, her soft breathing tickling my skin, almost soothing me enough to want to fall asleep. 

Gently, I drew circles on her back with my thumb, wanting to never let her go, but I knew I had to. 

I had to let go eventually. 

Pulling back, I pushed the hair away from her face, and placed kisses all over, as softly as I could. 

I reached for my phone and decided to shoot Miles a text, in hopes that he'd reply and be okay to meet with me. 

Luckily, It didn't take long for him to respond and we agreed to meet at his place in twenty minutes. 

I quietly pulled away from her and got out of bed, began to get dressed, hoping not to make to much noise to wake her but with the clank of my belt buckle, she stirred and cracked a sleepy eye open.

"Alex?"

I quickly did my beltbuckle and went to her side of the bed, placing a kiss on her forehead. 

"Where are you going?" She sleepily asked, sinking her face back in to her pillow, sleep clearly taking over. 

"I love you." I gently tipped her chin up and gave her a kiss on the lips, and turned towards the door when I felt her grab my hand and lightly tug me back. 

Slowly I went back to her and sat on the edge of the bed, being met with those sleepy eyes of hers. 

"I love you." She sleepily said, fingers barely holding on to my hand as I leaned in and kissed her again. "I love you, I love you." I repeated in to the kiss, wishing I could stay like this for eternity but I had to go meet Miles and make things right. 

I kissed her lips and her beautiful face, chanting how much I loved her until she was fast asleep again. 

"You're my queen whether you know that or not." I whispered and quietly stood up, and left her hotel room with a weak smile on my face. If she wasn't so covered in sleepiness she'd never say it back and that actually hurt.   
I had two loves of my life, one being her and the other being the only best friend I could ever want. 

Got a cab to drive me to Miles' hotel and when I arrived at his hotel door, the nerves had kicked in. I almost didn't want to knock and when I did, I had half the mind of turning back. 

But he quickly opened and my heart sank at how awful he looked. At how I'd bruised and bloodied him, and that frown I couldn't stand.   
He stepped aside allowing me in and closing the door behind us as I headed towards the bar, helping myself to a strong glass of whiskey, and sitting on the bar stool across from him as he stood by the kitchen counter, staring at his bruised hand. 

Who was going to break first?

I took a sip of my drink and cleared my throat.

"Why did this happen?" Miles said, sounding so distraught it actually hurt me. 

I forced myself to look at him and shook my head. "I dunno, mate."

"If I saw us now eleven years ago, I wouldn't recognize us. This is all fucked." Miles said. 

"God, I'm sorry, Mi. I didn't mean t- well, I did but I didn't want to-" I stopped. "Tha knows?"

Miles erupted, "no, I don't know. I've not had a proper conversation with you for months, Al. You need to fucking speak to me with actual words and not your mumbling bullshit." 

I was almost taken aback by his sudden outburst. I'd seen Miles angry before but never toward me, and it was terrifying. It felt as awful as when you were a child and your mother was disappointed in summat you did. It wasn't right. 

"I fucked up and I know that, I've apologized to you over and over again and you've pretended I didn't exist for months. You've ignored my texts, my calls, my every attempt at showing you how awful I felt about it but you haven't allowed me to be near you. How the fuck is this even a friendship anymore?"  
It's as if my mind had gone blank. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know how to react.   
"I couldn't- it felt like you'd betrayed me. Do you understand that?"

He nodded, "but why couldn't we talk it out like men? Why'd you have to run off like a coward?" 

"I weren't a coward, I were fucking angry. I were hurt over the fact that you went and fucked my girl and you didn't even look remorseful." 

"I was! I fucking was!" He yelled, slamming his already bruised hand on the counter. "You didn't give me a chance to explain."

For some reason, this conversation hurt more than I'd expected it to, and tears began to stream down my face. I felt defeated. 

"I tried to tell you so many times how sorry I was and you didn't budge and here you sit and tell me I didn't. That's such bullshit, Al."

I attempted to discretely wipe at my tears with the backs of my hand with glass in hand to make it look like I was just scratching but I knew he knew.

"D'you remember that night in France, Al? The one where we promised to be each other's true loves, each other's soul mates?" He eyed me with a much softer expression than before.

I put my glass down and slowly nodded, not taking my eyes off the counter. 

"I don't think we accounted for the women that would eventually enter our lives."

I remembered that night vividly. We were young, dumb, and made stupid promises. But that one, was one of the promises I vowed to keep. 

I sniffled and felt him pull up a stool next to me and place his hands on my face, gently holding and caressing lightly, brushing away the tears that encountered his thumbs. 

"Look at me, love." He quietly said, and finally had the courage to meet him eye to eye. "I want you to be happy, yeah? But I need to be happy as well and that's not going to happen without my best friend."

I nodded again, for lack of words and found myself staring at the floor. 

"I want to pretend like none of this happened." I managed to say, as he continued to wipe my face free of tears. "I want it to be us again, careless best mates."

"And we can but we have to put all this behind us. No more carrying grudges, Al. No more death matches."

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me through my tears and I saw him smile.

"Ah, there it is." He stood and held my face again, placing a kiss on my forehead. "You're still a dick head."

I smiled at him and wiped at my tears again, "you still want to be me friend?"

He nodded, "always, love."

He carefully studied my face and cupped my face again, "now, why that frown?"

I shook my head and shrugged. "I just- I still feel like I'm missing something. I have you back and I fucking love you, mate but... You know-"

"Shayley? Al, she loves you. You two will be fine." Miles tried to reassure me. 

"I don't doubt she loves me, Mi. But she'll never forgive me. I'm b- awful for her and we all know it."

"Well, maybe... It's time to let her go."


	24. Subtle as an Earthquake

It was about 4:30pm when I was attempting to roll out of bed after a long night of drinking it up with my brother, leading to a massive hangover. 

Celebrating the fact that we won a major music award the night before and we're officially off band duty for a while and nothing seems too urgent because for once, money wasn't an issue anymore. 

I opened my eyes and stretched out my cramped up arm, only to close them again and curl up in to a ball with all my blankets, ready for another three hours at least,  
But I could feel my phone vibrating from under my pillow, so I reached for it and saw my brothers face on my screen. 

"Hello?" 

"Do you even remember what you did last night?" He asked, laughing. "Cause it's all over tumblr."

I pressed my face in to my pillow and shook my head, like he could see that. "If I didn't do a line of cocaine, then I don't care."

"SHAYLEY. YOU MADE OUT WITH MY GIRLFRIEND AND ANDY." He yelled, making me pull my phone away from my face. 

"What the hell do you mean?" I asked, rubbing my eyes and pulling up my tumblr app and scrolling through, and sure enough, I was lip locking with two people last night. 

"Oh god. I don't even- I don't care."

"I mean, I'm just letting you know that mom will probably see these and cry herself to sleep for three years." He said with a laugh, clearly amused at my intoxicated doings.

"I'm glad you find this hilarious. I'll call you back in like three hours cause I'm going back to sleep."

"Alright, night!"

"Night." I said and hung up, putting my phone down and closing my eyes. Sleep was just about to take me over when my phone began vibrating again. As I reached for it I didn't even bother opening my eyes to look at who was calling before I answered with my disgusting hung over voice. 

"Hello?"  
"What’re you doin’ tonight?" asked the voice on the other line, which I hadn't exactly placed yet, but it wasn't my brother. 

"Um… Sleeping my hangover off."

There was a laugh, a fucking certain kind of laugh.

A sheepy laugh. 

My eyes shot open and I fucking knew who it was. 

"'m in town and I want to see you. It's been a while, love." 

I pulled my phone away and finally looked at my screen to make sure it was who I thought it was and sure enough, it was him.

"Holy shit," I whispered more to myself than him. "Alex?"

"The one and only."

I pulled the phone away from my face and put it on speaker, trying to let it sink in that he was actually on the phone. 

"It's been two years and three months to be exact." I managed to say. 

"Alright, now that the time frame ‘as been established, will you see me tonight? Or..." He trailed off, "right now?"

I shot up from bed and looked around my room, "right now?"

"I'm sort o’ outside."

I ran my hand through my hair, my fingers struggling to make it to the ends, my heart beating erratically, trying to figure out how to look like I hadn't gotten run over. 

"Um, um, uh, yeah?"

He laughed again, and said, "Well, will you open the door?"

I stood to my feet, grabbing my phone and rumaged around, trying to find some shorts in my unpacked luggage from a few days ago. 

As I pulled the shorts out from my bag it caught on the zipper and with a little tugging and force, I got it free but something else flew out of the bag and on to the floor by my foot.  
"Um, yeah, give me a sec." I said, hanging up and throwing my phone on my bed, then picking up what had fallen. 

The Polaroid picture I'd taken of him the day he got the stupid camera and annoyed the shit out of me with it. A smile formed on my lips as I placed it on my nightstand, and made my way to the mirror, being horrified with how awful I looked. 

Jesus Christ, couldn't he have given me at least a 20-minute warning? Or maybe, I should've been up earlier and not out till 5 in the morning making out with people.

I grabbed some makeup remover wipes and wiped off what was left, then tried to fix my hair but to no avail and I was on my way to the door. I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself and calm my erratic heart and opened it, and there he stood, looking as gorgeous as ever with a smile on his face. 

Black leather clad as always with those tight jeans of his, he grinned even bigger, eyeing me up and down. 

I couldn't even hold his gaze, ashamed with how tragic I looked and how well put he did. 

"I, uh god. I'm sorry I look like shit. I literally just woke up." I said, sounding so lame as I invited him inside and he immediately went to my couch, making himself comfortable. His hair was long, longer than I'd seen it before and I framed his face beautifully. 

"You look fine, I reckon." He said, with a grin as I closed the door and went to sit across from him on the other couch. 

A few moments passed where we just stared at the floor in silence but he quickly looked up and said, "Well, I'd like to take you out tonight."

"Where you taking me?" I asked, raising and eyebrow. 

"There's that pizza place down the street-"

I stood and threw a pillow at him. "You never change. Fine. I'm going to get ready. Make yourself at home, Al."

In less than thirty minutes I’d showered, dried and done my hair, put on my makeup and gotten dressed, ready for whatever the day brought at me. Aka Alex Turner. 

I closed my bedroom door and walked back in to the living room to find him laying on the couch, shoes off and watching TV. 

"Well, you definitely made yourself at home, didn't you?" I said with a laugh. 

"I thought you'd take longer, honestly." He answered turning to me and staring with a blank face, something I couldn't read. 

"What?" I asked, feeling self-conscious. 

A small smile formed on his face as he turned back to the TV and shook his head.  
"Nothing"

"Are you ready to go?" I asked grabbing my bag and keys then heading to the door with him following behind.

We drove to the pizza place and chatted about everything. We did have two years to catch up on. 

"What have you been up to?" I asked, while digging in to my pizza slice. 

"Been all around the place, really. Released a new album and toured a lot with it, then I went back ‘ome and on vacation with Miles… I've done a lot."

"I heard you had a number one album."

He smiled and nodded. “Aye. It was amazing to ‘ave another number one, but in all ‘onestly, someone ‘ad to." He said with a smirk. 

I laughed. "How would the world manage without you?"

"I'm a gift." 

I burst in to laughter, trying not to sounds like a maniac, but he was just too far up his ass to not laugh. 

"How's your brother been?"

I rolled my eyes, "Please, like you don't already talk to him everyday."

"Not everyday!" He argued, but even the smile on his face gave him away. 

"Bullshit. You two are almost as bad as you and Miles. Complete wiener boys for each other."

"Wiener boys? What the bloody ‘ell is that?" He asked, puzzled but amused. 

I laughed a little too loud and took a sip of my coke. "It's like, when you're really good friends with someone that one would assume you're gay for each other. You and Miles, and you and Dylan, are total wiener boys." 

He raised an eyebrow and nodded. "Oh, that's strange."

I chuckled and reached for another piece of pizza. "How is Miles? I haven't spoken to him in a few weeks." 

He lit up and smiled, "’e's great, ‘e's engaged, you know."

"He is?! No way! That's so awesome."

He nodded. "I'm ecstatic for ‘im."

"Are you going to be the best man?" I asked, knowing that was probably a stupid question. 

He raised an eyebrow, "Because anyone else would have that ‘onor?"

I raised my hands in defeat, "Okay, never mind!" 

He let out a small laugh and continued to eat in silence for a few seconds. 

"So are you seeing anyone?" He suddenly asked, but I didn't budge at his question. Only shook my head. 

"I was with Andy for a while but we're better off as friends." I said, shaking some cheese on to my slice of pizza, not wanting to meet his gaze and I knew he was staring at me. 

"You dated the one with the ‘air?" He asked. 

I nodded. "Mhm." 

"Oh." Was all he said as he chewed away. 

"And you?"

He raised an eyebrow, "what?"

"Did you have any endeavors with the ladies." I said, with a small smirk on my face. 

"Nothing serious."

"Couldn't get over how damn awesome I am?" I joked and got a laugh out of him.  
That laugh was beautiful. 

"None are quite like you." 

And for a moment it seemed like we had this awkward vibe but I quickly turned that around and kicked his foot from under the table. "Oh, shut up."

"See, it's that attitude that I like." He smiled. 

"You like me telling you to shut up?" I asked, with a laugh. 

"In certain situations."

I stared at him and hid my face in my hands. "Oh god,"

He grinned at me, "Ready to go?"

I nodded and we headed out to his car and began the drive back. I noticed a carnival as we were driving and convinced him that we just HAD to go. He politely agreed and drove us there, parking the car and following me in to the place full of lights and rides, people and all sorts of fried food. 

As I went up to the food stand and ordered a fried Twinkie, Alex stood next to me eyeing the rides with a concerned look on his face.

"Erm, we're not going to get on any of those, are we?"

I laughed and handed him his Twinkie, while I began to walk towards the other food stands ahead of me. 

"Not if you don't want to. But the Ferris wheel is a must."

"The Ferris wheel? Of all the things ‘ere." He laughed, taking a bite of the deep fried food and making such a satisfied face. "This is fucking good."

"I told you! Next we're trying fried Oreos." 

He almost choked as he laughed and looked at me, "what, are you planning to ‘ave a go at everything on the menu?"

I nodded and threw my trash in to the bin, along with his as he went to get us the fried Oreos.

"It'll be 3.25" said the boy working the stand as Alex reached in to his back pocket, pulling out his expensive leather wallet and digging around for some dollar bills. Out of everything in there, something caught my eye. The small Polaroid photo of me half asleep that he'd taken a few days before world war Al vs. Shay had begun. 

"Al?" I asked, looking at him as he turned to me, raising an eyebrow.  
"Is that-"

"Here you go. Enjoy!" Said the stand person, handing us our food and interrupting me, but maybe it was a good thing. 

We walked away and sat on a bench indulging in the best thing American festivals have done when he turned to me and said, "We're you going to say summat?"

I shook my head, "nope." 

I watched him take a bite and close his eyes dramatically, moaning. "Sooooo good."

I hit his shoulder and laughed. "You're such a loser." 

Right from where we sat, we got a clear view of the ferris wheel and I could feel my heart swell with excitement like a child. It had been years since I'd been on a ferris wheel and I just couldn't contain my excitement as a squeal left my throat and a little jump came out of me. The lights against the dark night sky looked magical and I couldn't wait to get on it and watch everything become tiny underneath us. 

"You look rather fit for someone who was hung over a few hours ago." I heard him say as he threw his trash away and I turned to him, finding him watching me with certain awe in his eyes. 

I didn't say anything, only grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the ferris wheel, getting in one of the booths, sitting across from each other and waiting for the rest of the people to be loaded up before this thing spun. 

I couldn't tear my eyes away from how small the people were becoming below us and just how high we'd gotten, when it stopped at the very center, I turned towards Alex to make sure he was still alive.

He was watching me very intently, and I couldn't help but smile. 

"What?" He asked. 

"You're looking at me."

He let out a small laugh and ran his hand through his hair. "I can't fucking help it. You're just so- so ‘appy."

I nodded, "I am happy. In this exact moment, nothing could be better."

"When I saw you last, you were so... down, detached, and seeing you now it's... It's breathtaking, honestly."

I turned to him, feeling the blush creep up my cheeks as I smiled. 

"I'm glad you decided to come out with me today." 

I laughed and sat back against the seat a little too hard, causing the gondola to swing a bit. "You kind of ambushed me, Alex."

"Could've said no, couldn't ya?" He smirked, that stupid fucking smirk of his. 

I glared at him crossed my arms across my chest, looking over and locking eyes with the cotton candy stand, wishing I'd brought that up here with me to munch on. 

"You could've not showed up out of the blue when you haven't spoken to me for years." I blurted, my eyes slowly going to him and watching his uncomfortable demeanor. 

"We didn't exactly end on the best terms, love." He added, taking out his pack of cigarettes and lighting one up before handing it to me and lighting his own. 

I couldn't tear my eyes off the way he inhaled, and slowly exhaled the smoke away from me. "What'd you want me to say? It's your shit ex boyfriend, ‘ow've you been?" He scoffed. "I would've rather taken my chances and so far it ‘asn't been a failure."

With a nod, I finished the rest of my cigarette and threw it over, watching it float its way down and land on the ground. 

"I can't stand you, you smug asshole." I said with a smile. When we finally got to the bottom and got off, I led him towards the cotton candy stand. Like the gentleman he is, he paid for mine and watched me pick at it and stick pieces in to my mouth. 

"You're bloody cute, Shayley, you know that?" He asked, stealing a piece of my cotton candy and going to the food cart again to get some popcorn. 

"Don't be cute with me." I warned, but the smile on my face failed me. 

"You like it."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

Finally his whining and noises he'd been making at me convinced me that it was time to leave the carnival behind. We were full of fried food and good conversations, but I still didn't quite want to go home yet, mostly because I'd missed him for so long and he was finally here and there was no crying, no fights, no drama. Just me and him. We got in to his car and got on the road, back to my place.

"Al?"  
"Yes, love?" He asked, as he slowed down, hitting a patch of traffic, red break lights illuminating his gorgeous face. 

"Can we go to the beach?"

He turned to me and raised a brow, but a smirk played on his lips. "Don't want to get rid of me, ey?"

I looked him straight in the eyes, shook my head and smiled, "nope."

If it wouldn't have been for the red lights on his face, you'd see that pinkish blush forming over his cheeks. He tried to hide the smile on his face but he just couldn't. 

"Did I just make you smile?" I poked, while literally poking his arm, loving the way I hit rock hard muscle. It's subtle but there. 

He turned to me and placed his hand on my leg, gently squeezing. "You have that effect on me, you know that."

We both sat there smiling like idiots, as traffic picked up and his hand never left my leg. I watched his thumb caress my thigh and I couldn't help but place my hand over his, tracing my finger tips over his long skinny, fingers, his warmth engulfing me and making me want to lean in to him, close my eyes and fall asleep. 

He let out a small laugh and turned his hand over, lacing fingers with mine.

"Well, if you tell me the way."

I nodded and gave him the directions and an hour later we had arrived at the beach. He parked and turned off the ignition as I opened the door, and swung my feet over and began to take off my shoes, putting them on the floor of the car as Alex watched me in confusion. 

"You realize there's sand, right? Your expensive boots will get sand on them, so I'd suggest you take them off." I said but with a little more attitude than I'd intended. 

He made a face and quietly removed his shoes too; a lot quicker than me because he came over to my side and watched me set my last shoe back in the car. 

He held out his hand to me and I couldn't help but be in awe of how amazing he looked under the glow of the moonlight, with that small smile on his lips. It made my heart skip, it gave me butterflies as he watched me. 

"You gonna keep staring at me or take my ‘and?" He cut in to my thoughts. 

I let out a breath and took his hand, closing the door behind me as we walked down on to the beach. The warm sand welcoming my toes, the cold sea water washing over our feet as we walked close to the shoreline, running and screaming like children when the water went over our ankles. 

I grabbed on to his hand and pulled him to me and just like the loser he was, tripped over nothing and tumbled right over me, causing both of us to fall in to the water. 

I almost felt bad because obviously what he was wearing was expensive but then again, he could buy another if it really fucked up. But he was more concerned with me. 

"Fuck, are you alright?!" He asked as we sat in the water, and I laughed my ass off. 

"You're still bad luck, Turner." I said between fits of giggles, screaming as the water splashed over my face, making my hair stick to my cheeks, making me laugh harder at how dumb I probably looked. 

I couldn't help but notice the silence that fell over us so I turned to him, and found him staring at me in awe. 

"Alex?"

He closed the space between us and brushed his thumb over my cheek, gently. "I love when you say my name."

I closed my eyes and leaned in to his touch, cold water and all but I could still feel his warmth on my skin. I couldn't quite form a response other than, "yeah?" 

"It just dun' sound as pretty coming from someone else's mouth."

He pressed his lips to mine and it was as if we'd gone back in time to that night we met when we were obliterated, but when we kissed the sparks flew. Sand mixed with salty water and all, but all I could taste was him and he felt amazing. 

I held his face in my hands and said his name between kisses, "Alex, Alex, Alex."

His hand went to the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him and deepening the kiss for as long as we could hold our breaths with such intensity between us. 

He slowly pulled back and it took me a moment to open my eyes and look at him. 

"I still love you, you know." 

We most definitely still had sparks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all folks.


End file.
